Frozen Lamb Fetuses

[lizish]

I love this guy. He's half musician, half stand up and seems to have a huge fear of entering the US - so one stop in Seattle merits a post on this board. If you can see him, do. It's like the cheapest entertainment around:

 

 

Booked him for a show last week. Knowing the man, I had an Irish Whiskey all ready to hand off, he shouted 'I know you' and gave me a hug. Just a classic entertainer and utterly correct about all the artists he works with and promotes. For instance Janove Ottensen and Kaisers Orchestra really are a cross between the Hives and Tom Waits.

 

Wheat Stubble and Flatheads

 

I'm home in Vancouver, just for a second before it's

off to Edmonton and the rest of the beautiful Canadian

prairie in fall. Ah, the melancholy of the endless

wheat stubble. Those shows are with Dave Lang, a good

friend and brilliant songwriter. He's also a master

of hilarious sarcastic stage banter. I cover his

song, "How Come You're So Fucked, And Nothing Seems to

Be Wrong?". Neko Case and Carolyn Mark cover his song

"She's Leaving Town". You'd be a fool to miss him.

 

Have you seen this European tour I've got planned?

Holy moley, there's a lot of dates in there. How do I

do it? you ask. The answer? Vitamins.

 

This may seem crazy, given how many gigs there are

already, but if you see a gap anywhere in these dates,

and you know somebody who runs a music venue nearby,

let me know. As long as I'm away from home, I might

as well play. "It's the nights with no shows that get

me in trouble", as Carolyn Mark says.

 

I swear, I wasn't planning on returning to Norway this

time. I was gonna try my luck at exploiting the rest

of the continent, instead and hit Norway in March.

 

But just about a week ago, out of the blue, Geir from

Kaizers Orchestra wrote in to call me a dirty Jew

bastard and offer me 10 opening slots on their last

major tour until 2008.

 

As I've mentioned before, for you ignorant North

Americans, the Kaizers are the biggest band in Norway

and possibly the fastest-rising group in Europe.

Plus, they're really good. In rock critic shorthand,

they are Tom Waits meets the Hives, but better than

that. Best live rock band in the world, currently,

for my money, such as it is. So naturally, I called

him a flatheaded Norwegian cocksucker (thank you,

"Deadwood", for providing me with a good, solid racial

slur against Norwegians) and accepted the gig.

 

I'll have copies of the new book for at all the shows.

Freeze dried lamb fetuses, however, will remain a

mail-order item, as they can sometimes inspire

suspicion in border guards when I travel with them on

my person.

 

Finally, let me say this:

 

Things are going pretty well. Many of the bills are

being paid, each month. People are starting to notice

that these records I've been making with my friends

are pretty good. There's been a lot of press.

 

So I've kind of been screwing up on the returning of

e-mail lately. There's no excuse for it. It's in the

category of what Valerie Jerome calls "High-class

problems". I'm just saying, if you wrote to me, and I

didn't write back yet, could you maybe take pity on me

and write again, and give me another chance? I would

apreciate it.

 

Okay, here are the dates. Songwriting afficionados,

check out the Carmaig de Forest show in Seattle.

Rare. Don't cheat yourself out of that one. Fly from

Norway if you have to.

 

Take care of yourself. Don't despair. Don't listen

to people who tell you that you think too much.

 

Yours,

 

Geoff

 

Sept. 17 - Edmonton, AB - The Blue Chair, with Dave

Lang

 

Sept. 18 - Saskatoon, SK - Carrie Catherine's House

Concert, with Dave Lang

 

Sept. 19 - Winnipeg, MB - The West End Cultural

Centre, with Dave Lang and Shuyler Jansen

 

Sept. 20 - Regina, SK - O'Hanlon's, with Dave Lang

 

Sept. 21 and 22 - Vancouver, BC - Vancouver Comedy

Festival

 

Sept 23 - Calgary, AB - Hillhurst Sunnyside Community

Association, with Carolyn Mark and Dave Lang

 

Sept. 24 - Lethbridge, AB - The Tongue n Groove, with

Carolyn Mark and Dave Lang

 

Sept. 25 - Black Diamond, AB - The Spot, with Carolyn

Mark and Dave Lang

 

Sept. 26 - Creston, BC - The Snoring Sasquatch, with

Carolyn Mark and Dave Lang

 

Sept. 27 - Grand Forks, BC - Grand Forks Art Gallery,

with Carolyn Mark and Dave Lang

 

Sept. 28 - Nelson, BC - The Royal, with Carolyn Mark

and Dave Lang

 

Sept. 29 - Vancouver, BC - Commodore Ballroom, opening

for Billy Bragg(!)

 

Sept. 30 - Vancouver, BC - RIME, with Carolyn Mark and

Dave Lang

 

Oct. 12 - Seattle, WA - The Sunset Tavern

 

Oct. 14 - Portland, OR - The Towne Lounge

 

Oct. 19 - Sackville, NB - Strike 2

 

Oct. 20 - St. John, NB - Sessions Cafe

 

Oct. 21 - Halifax, NS - Halifax Pop Festival, The

Seahorse, with Wax Mannequin

 

EUROPEAN TOUR:

more dates TBA

 

Nov. 6 - Oslo, Norway - Sound of MU

 

Nov. 7 - Sogndal, Norway - Meieriet, opening for

Kaizers Orchestra

 

Nov. 8 - Brattv

Edited September 15, 2006 by lizish