Aeglos
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Posts posted by Aeglos
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The separation between church and state is one of the few things that keeps me sane in the political sphere. Or maybe people should rule by divine right again?! It is terrifying to know that the 'halls of power' are 200-400 years behind ethics/philosophy.
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I knew these people ...
What people?
These two people. They were in love with each other. The girl was ... very young, about seventeen or eighteen, I guess. And the guy was ...quite a bit older. He was kind of raggedy and wild. She was very beautiful, you know.
Yeah.
And together they turned everything into a kind of an adventure, and she liked that. Just an ordinary trip down the grocery store was ...full of adventure. They were always laughing at stupid things. He liked to make her laugh. And ...they didn't much care for anything else, because all they wanted to do was be with each other. They were always together.
Sounds like they were very happy.
Yes, they were. They were real happy. And he, he loved her more than he ever felt possible. He couldn't stand being away from her, uh ... during the day when he went to work. So, he quit. Just to be home with her.
Then he got another job when the money ran out, then he quit again. But pretty soon, she started to worry.
About what?
Money, I guess. Not having enough. Not knowing when the next check was coming in.
Yep. I know that feeling.
So he started to get kind of ...torn inside.
How do you mean?
Well he knew he had to work to support her, but he couldn't stand being away from her, either.
Ah, I see.
And the more he was away from her, the crazier he got. Except now, he got really crazy. He started imagining all kinds of things.
Like what?
He started thinking that she was seeing other men on the sly. He'd come home from work and accuse her of spending the day with somebody else. He'd yell at her, break things in the trailer.
The trailer?
Yes. They lived in a trailer home.
Excuse me, sir, but were you in to visit me the other day? I don't mean pry.
No.
Oh. I thought I recognized your voice for a minute.
No. It wasn't me.
Mm-hmm. Please go on.
Anyway, he started to drink real bad. And he'd stay out late to test her.
What do you mean "test her"?
To see if she'd get jealous.
Ha. Mm-hmm.
He wanted her to get jealous, but she didn't. She just worried about him, but that got him even madder.
Why?
Because ...he thought if she never got jealous of him, she didn't really care about him. Jealousy was a sign of her love for him. And then one night, one night, she told him she was pregnant. She was about three or fourth months pregnant, and he didn't even know. And then suddenly everything changed. He stopped drinking, he got a steady job. He was convinced that she loved him now, because she was carrying his child. And he was going to dedicated himself to making a home for her. But a funny thing started to happen.
What?
He didn't even notice at first. She started to change. On the day the baby was born, she began to get irritated with everything around her. She got mad at everything. Even the baby seemed to be an injustice to her. He kept trying to make everything all right for her. Buy her things. Take her out to dinner once a week. But nothing seemed to satisfy her.
For two years he struggled to put them back together like they were when they first met. Finally, he knew that it was never gonna work out. So, he hit the bottle again. But this time it got mean. This time when he came home late at night she wasn't worried about him, or jealous, she was just enraged.
She accused him of holding her captive, by making her have a baby. She told him that she dreamed about escaping. It was all she dreamed about: escape. She saw herself at night, running naked down a highway. Running across fields, running down river beds, always running.
And always, just as she was about to get away, he'd be there. He would stop her somehow. Hr would just appear and stop her.
And when she told him these dreams, he believed them. He knew she had to be stopped, or she'd leave him forever. So he tied a cowbell to her ankle, so he could hear it at night if she tried to get out bed. But she learned how to muffle the bell by stucking a sock into it and inched her away out bed and into the night.
He caught her one night, when the sock fell out and he heard her trying to run out to the highway. He caught her, dragged her back to the trailer and tied her to the stove with his belt. He just left her there, he went back to bed and lay there and listening to her scream. And he listened to his son scream.
He was surprised at himself because he didn't feel anything anymore.
All he wanted to do was sleep.
And for the first time, he wished he were far away, lost in a deep, vast country where nobody knew him. Somewhere without language or streets. And he dreamed about this place without knowing its name. And when he woke up he was on fire. There were blue flames burning the sheets of his bed.
He ran through the flames towards the only two people he loved. But they were gone.
His arms were burning. And he threw himself outside, and rolled on the wet ground.
Then he ran.
He never looked back at the fire. He just ran. He ran until the sun came up, til he couldn't run any further. And when the sun went down, he ran again.
For five days he ran like this ...until every sign of man ...had disappeared.
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Wishful Thinking
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loved Nabokov's liner notes for Highway 61 Revisited
still waiting for the reissue of Graham Greene's woodblock version of the 1812 Overture...
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yep, amongst bands Wilco and Pavement share top spot for me
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Suddenly last summer
I started going out of my head
In a tiny hotel room
Lying naked on a bed
I knew what you were doing, and I knew what you'd done
Your life with me was ending, your new life had begun
But I was cursing your name, and I was cursing that room
And I was praying for the strength to stop loving you
I started writing you the letter
Which turned into the book
I was gonna reach across the ocean
and force you to look
But what kind of man was I?
Who would sacrifice your happiness to satisfy his pride
What kind of man was I?
Who would delay your destiny to appease his tiny mind
Then you came back to me and I went down on one knee
With a glint in my eyes and a rose between my teeth
And I pushed out my tongue for you to see
That I'd been dying of a thirst for your company
Then you quenched my loneliness with your tears
And our clothes fell away as we rolled back the years
But we couldn't deny it because we could not admit it
If our love was too strong to die
Or we were just too weak to kill it
Was our love too strong to die?
Or were we just too weak to kill it?
Every moment in that room
I closed my eyes in prayer
Every moment I awoke
I clenched my teeth in prayer
What kind of man was I?
Who would sacrifice your happiness to satisfy his pride
What kind of man was I?
Who would delay your destiny to appease his tiny mind
Who could delay your destiny to appease his aching swollen pride
Who could delay your destiny to appease his screaming little mind
You're mine
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bugger
despite them becoming art school fodder L'Avventura and Blowup (mmmm Vanessa Redgrave) are brilliant
i've never understood the antipathy towards Beyond the Clouds - i thought it was incredible
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i'm not sure that there's an easy way into Bergman's films... start with anything except Persona?
his films are visually beautiful, though ascetic, but in terms of content tackle a pretty harsh philosophical terrain concerning the absence of god, and various intrinsic aspects of life which are ethically ambiguous, and the way in which they effect our relationships
he demands a fiar bit of his audience but its worth it - i'd try Winter Light and if that holds your interest the rest will just follow
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the more the better... makes you wonder if riders are as closely examined in the Giro and the Vuelta
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incredible finish
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A Tuesday night in Winter, holed up in the city of ravens,
The owls in the hills hoo-hooing and eyeing off the field mice down in the cold grey centre,
Addle Brains lining up with the dead for the soup spoon,
Addle Brains and the legions of the passed for the bread bag,
Ladle the soup, pass the rolls,
Addle Brains and the many not here and loose souls.
One might fly off to the blank heavens and the lead high halls,
O the hungry sky aches for blokes without folks and bulges with the bearers of palls.
Addle Brains would drink for four days and no eats,
and sleep in the glens of botanical parks, and on the humped bus shelter seats,
Where it's cold, where it's cold.
One morning I woke up in a room in the nation's heart,
and couldn't think for the life of me what I was doing, or where to start,
or what rehearsal was required, I was so sad and tired.
What does a bird want with money?
Was he made this way?
Do you have to earn the right to find all of this funny?
Nothing's funny today.
Addle Brains mixes his powders with his fateful blues,
and the wide-eyed bubs of the Parliament couldn't give a hoot, or even two.
All it takes, it takes, is a kind look and a word, a word,
Some pretty eyes and skin, from your fine family you were given to win,
and spill it over into the basin of common sin,
just a drop, a drop of the stuff that makes us kin
- Addle Brains perching way out on a limb.
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shocking situation but its what has to happen to straighten the sport out
Cadel Evans is back in the running now actually, with a TT showdown with Contador looking very intriguing
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ALTWYS, then Nels' Ashes, then a bunch
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In regards to Jeff's songwriting i think his lack of formal education is a little misleading. He strikes me as a perfect example of autodidacticism. Basically he has a very high musical intelligence coupled with a rapacious musical curiosity (e.g. never heard another rock/pop musician mention Morton Feldman with familiarity). I'm sure he knows a great deal about it but in an idiosyncratic way, because he's picked up what he wants, or what he's responded to, and been able to put it all in a framework.
Formal training is the hard road. It furnishes you with a great deal of ability and knowledge but you have to have the courage and ability to sublimate it and make music through your emotions and feelings. That's a bloody tricky process and due to that, in a lot of people's cases, musical theory could be damagingly inhibiting - it doesn't suit everyone. There are great songwriters with zero training (much lower proportion in longer musical forms however), and great ones with plenty. Horses for courses, blah blah. We have inherited a musical canon that runs from Hildegaard von Bingen and Ockeghem over 600 years to the present and its almost all from classically trained composers and songwriters, so it can't be all that bad, right? Elvis Costello has said songwriters would really benefit from getting to know Schubert (i agree ).
Lastly i don't think we will ever to get Jeff's full knowledge of musical theory on display because Wilco are a direct band (imo) and Jeff has a really good intuition about how far he can go in terms of challenging and pushing his audience. Ultimately, if they can't play it live and have it connect for people we won't see it, but i do harbour the hope that one day they'll just forget we're here and make an album of their most out there ideas.
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lists of this nature are NEVER wholly satisfying but this one seems tolerable til about 13...
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maybe they should have a clean tour and a doped tour same goes for the olympics
i'm confused about the satisfaction of winning through performance enhancement... monetary? adulation? odd... anyways, i believe Rasmussen is a drug cheat within the last few years, sadly
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this is making me want to list to Unseen Power of the Picket Fence...
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today's stage looks terrifying
Port de Bales = last 10km, 10% grade, maximum 14%
still hoping for Cadel but Contador would be a great story
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awesome
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Been bloody rough on the aussies.
McEwen out, Mick Rogers out, Stuart O'Grady in intensive care (5 fractured ribs, 2 broken collar bones, etc ... reminds me of Rick Disneck from the old 12th Man album if any aussies remember). All hopes with Cadel Evans now, sitting 4th or 5th in the GC.
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$3640 ... bit steep really
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completed my Motley Crue cassette tape collection when i was 13... had to fight for rotation with Skid Row, and G n R though
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hey, can i borrow your brain? i'm building an idiot
I'm Not There - Soundtrack Revealed?
in Someone Else's Song
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sounds fantastic
would love to hear Jeff do Love Minus Zero/No Limit
edit: even more curious to see what Malkmus does