Ewwwwww! Are you still living there? My friend that found it (the second one) lives in New Mexico. I swear I think they're crawling on my feet right now. Or I'm having a flashback. The 90's were rough.
That is a vinegaroon. It looks half scorpion, half tarantula. It sprays a vinegar scent when it's frightened. It also hums Rock You Like A Hurricane and Robyn Hitchcock tunes.