cryptique Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Apologies if this has been posted before -- I haven't been able to follow the RTT like I once did -- but I thought this was hilarious... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - LEAVE BACON OUT OF IT, HEALTH EXPERTS WARNED HEALTH experts were last night told to 'go fuck themselves' after advising consumers to give up bacon. The Department of Health in London was under siege yesterday as a mob chanted 'death to the men in white coats' and 'whoever defames the pig should be executed'. Bill McKay, an architect from Dorchester, said he would rather disembowel himself than live without bacon, the only meat to be approved by the Vegetarian Society. He added: "We've taken a lot of shit from these people over the years. Perhaps the time has come to throw our health experts in jail." Rona Cameron, head of bacon sandwiches at the Vegetarian Society, said she believed the experts to be either deranged or in league with the devil. She added: "I love pigs, they're so cute and clever. But if I was in a farmyard with the smell of fried bacon wafting across my nostrils, I swear to God I'd grab me a shotgun and a meat cleaver." Wayne Hayes, bacon director at the Bacon Institute said: "Bacon transforms men into incredibly sensitive and generous lovers and guarantees women the longest and most intense orgasms imaginable." Meanwhile bacon campaigners have issued a series of recommendations for health experts if they wish to carry on living instead of perishing in a huge fireball after someone pours petrol through their letterbox and sets light to it with a flaming rag, including:Leave bacon out of thisShut up about baconMention bacon again and you’re fucking deadDon't even look at those sausagesWhich would you save from a burning building?One of these or a healthy eating co-ordinator? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mountain bed Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 AWESOME! I think I'll fry some up right now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ms. yvon Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 TAKE IT TO THE STREETS!! GO SING IT ON A MOUNTAIN!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
benjamin Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 I stumbled upon this site the other day. Enjoyhttp://www.squidoo.com/I_Love_Bacon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ms. yvon Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 "Mmm ... unexplained bacon" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elixir Sue Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Bacon of the Month Club!! Only $150 for 12 months of porky goodness! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mountain bed Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Bacon of the Month Club!! Only $150 for 12 months of porky goodness!Hell yes! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted December 6, 2007 Author Share Posted December 6, 2007 Here's another bacon-of-the-month club. Zingerman's is damn pricey, but their product is always terrific. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_fliz1 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Somebody please explain to me how bacon is approvable by a Vegetarian Society? "I love pigs, they're so cute and clever. But if I was in a farmyard with the smell of fried bacon wafting across my nostrils, I swear to God I'd grab me a shotgun and a meat cleaver." Wayne Hayes, bacon director at the Bacon Institute said: "Bacon transforms men into incredibly sensitive and generous lovers and guarantees women the longest and most intense orgasms imaginable." And that, might I add, is freakin hilarious. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted December 6, 2007 Author Share Posted December 6, 2007 Somebody please explain to me how bacon is approvable by a Vegetarian Society?Because it's too good to go without. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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