Let's take 'em out one at a time

[tongue-tied]

In admiring Jim's lyrics on the Loose Fur records, it has occurred to me that "Thou Shalt Wilt" doesn't follow the Catholic version of the ten commandments. Now I'm wondering if it's simply another version, or mixing them together. Also, I'm wondering if some of the jokes are going over my head. Let's look at the lyrics:

 

Let’s start it rolling by covering number ten

Cut off their heat then they’ll beat a retreat, amen

 

Either "You shall not covet thy neighbor's good" or, additionally, "his wife". So, cut off your neighbor's heat and they'll leave, therefor voiding the signifier "neighbor", leaving their goods for you to covet? More likely this is suggesting to harass your neighbors away, so you don't have goods or wives to covet.

 

Now we come to number nine

Falls neatly next in line

Whoa what happened to number ten

Don’t think we’ll see them here again

 

Catholic-wise, this is "neighbor's wife" again, and if you followed his solution for number ten, they'll be gone. Otherwise, it's "thy shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor", so no neighbors to lie to?

 

Steal a look at number eight

What better way to procreate

Just take ’em out one at a time

 

Knee slapper for "thy shall not steal". Catholic version seems out now, as stealing is #7. "What better way to procreate" is a tricky, you don't steal to procreate, but it's arguable you can lie to (back to Catholicism). Or is this continuing to "thy shall not commit adultery"? This quick transition might be explained by "just take 'em out one at a time", as we're trying to find a "simple way" to work around the commandments. Or is this highlighting that there are more than one version, taken here one at a time?

 

You can’t be serious

They look so good in their wedding dress

I need time to assess

I don’t want to acquiesce

 

Adultery. However, "number seven" isn't mentioned.

 

Six has a spicy ring to it

No harder one to commit

I think this one will be a hit

Now that’s what I call holy writ

 

Murrrderrr. One everyone can agree against, therefore the strongest commandment? Pun on "hit"? Catholically, we're at "adultery", which does sound spicy and would involve a ring.

 

We want to take a closer look at number five

Could it apply if implied that they’re not alive

 

I think this was the source of my initial suspicion that something is mixed here. This is either "Honor thy Father and Mother" or "Thy shall not kill" ©. How can you kill someone who is already dead? Imply your victim is dead inside and murder away. Or this is a question of how long one is bound to honor their parents, does it apply after they're dead?

 

Number four is such a pain

The sabbath thing is so arcane

I don’t want to desecrate

My only day to sleep in late

 

Another dead end for a Catholic interpretation, honoring the sabbath is numero 3. However, since this is the last number mentioned in the song, I will give another "quick transition" argument. "Number four is such a pain" is whining, like how a kid whines to their parents, "awww, honor my parents? they're such a pain!". Then, quick transition to #3© of the sabbath.

 

Don’t take his name in vain

From this one you want to abstain

We must set a clear mandate

The best damn way to conjugate

 

Pretty clear regardless of number, but "the best damn way to conjugate", aside from the wonderful use of "damn", raises a question. Maybe this is taking "conjugate" too far out of context, but thinking of it as grammar suggests different forms of a word, so maybe leaving the numbers out is the best damn way to address different forms of the ten commandments? It also suggests joining, like how this song might handle two versions at once?

 

We’re almost to the end

If heaven you want to ascend

Just take ’em out one at a time

You shall have no other god but me

 

spinning number 1 to show who really has the power. for some denominations, it's broken down into the first two commandments, one focusing on idolatry. So, I don't think it's easy to interpret these as straightforward Catholic commandments, but are these straightforward (denomination) commandments, or consciously playing with the differences? Am I missing something here? Am I wasting my time?

[LouisvilleGreg]

Yr obviously much more of an expert than I on the issue, but it's a damn fine song.

[Guest Runaway Jim]

"You look so good in that wedding dress" is such an amazing line.

[willywoody]

I've thought about this before, but not with as much in depth. Reviewing the ten commandments wiki, I think it's unquestionably the Anglican version. The "steal a look at number 8" and "what better way to procreate" don't add up together to me, but maybe he's just moving along to number 7 about no adultery, which is continued in the next lines. Everything else lines up to me.