Jump to content

Sweet Papa Crimbo

Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content Count

    6,365

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Sweet Papa Crimbo

    DFW Tornados

    in Tongue-Tied Lightning

    Posted

    Crow, you okay? Any other Dallas-area people out there? It's been crazy this afternoon.

     

    Yeah...I was wondering about you too.

     

    It's kinda crazy...we barely had rain at my office.

    My wife texted me and said there was a touchdown two blocks from her office...

    Jeff's Hair: Then And Now

    in Just A Fan

    Posted

     

    From an interview with "Hair on the Brain" in May 2010 http://www.haironthe...w-salon-owners/[/size]>

     

    Sparrow is the new big-deal hair salon in Chicago. Owners Susan Flaga and Bathsheba Nemerovski opened the salon in a 120 year-old building in Logan Square, and they’ve gotten tons of attention ever since–the New York Times called Bathsheba one of Chicago’s best-kept secrets. Well, the secret is out. Sparrow has cultivated a devoted following, thanks to the duo’s low-maintenance cuts and natural-looking color. And Bathsheba cuts everyone’s hair from Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy to pre-teen blogging sensation, Tavi Gevinson.

    ...

     

    HOTB: How did you wind up doing Jeff Tweedy’s hair?

    Bathsheba: Jeff and his wife Susie have been friends of mine for years. I do the whole family’s hair.

     

    I gotta come out of seclusion for this one...Jeff PAID for that haircut?

    Open letter from Darth Vader to Time Magazine

    in Tongue-Tied Lightning

    Posted

    Dear TIME Magazine,

     

    In your article of June 17, you listed Darth Vader as the third worst "fictional" father. The Galactic Empire takes these kinds of accusations very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that similar accusations from other planets normally end with a rebuttal of the giant laser from space variety. However, in his infinite wisdom, Darth Vader has ordered the PR Department to respond with the second most devastating weapon known to mankind: a sternly worded letter of complaint. So prepare yourself, TIME Magazine, but know in advance that your shields can't repel refutation of this magnitude.

     

    Firstly, how do you define "worst"? Are you suggesting that Darth Vader was evil because he helped Emperor Palpatine kill all of the Jedi? That's not evil. That's just being really, really good at your job. That's bringing balance to the Force, my glossy printed friend.

     

    Now let's clear the air of planetary debris and discuss the Alderaan issue. To the uneducated, kidnapping Princess Leia and blowing up her home planet while she watched might seem like a bit of a dick move, but it taught Leia a valuable life lesson: "Don't get kidnapped." It seems to us that if Princesses like Leia, Daisy and Zelda could just learn this one fundamental rule, a LOT of supervillains would be forced to channel their energy into more productive avenues of work.

     

    So many parents don't even care where their children are, or what they're up to, no matter the time of day or night. Not Darth Vader. When he couldn't find Luke, Vader dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space. This was in spite of the fact that Luke had just become the Galaxy's Most Wanted terrorist, almost killed his dad and blown up 1.3 million of his friends and workmates. Are those the actions of a bad father? He even went to visit Luke on the ice planet Hoth and see how he was going at work, despite how far away it was and the fact that the climate there really plays hell with your cyborg body parts.

     

    For almost 20 years, Darth Vader didn't even know he had children. Did you know that, TIME Magazine? Did you uncover that in your research? But unlike so many other deadbeat dads, the moment he found out, he took responsibility for his son, even saying on camera, "Luke, I am your father." He didn't even ask for a paternity test. Would the third worst father ever really do that, TIME Magazine?

     

    You're going to bring up the whole "cutting off Luke's hand" thing now, aren't you TIME Magazine? That is so you. Oh so predictable. If anything, cutting off Luke's hands was one of the nicest things Darth Vader ever did. Think about it: one quick, relatively painless amputation in exchange for a totally sweet cyborg hand (click here to read about the many cyborg hand-related benefits). Who wouldn't take that deal? You know what they say: "no pain, no gain".

     

    NOT ONLY did Darth Vader improve Luke's life immeasurably by giving him the opportunity to become an awesome cyborg, but he then sweetened the deal even further by inviting Luke to join the family business : ruling the galaxy together as father and son. Just in case you missed it, TIME Magazine, that didn't say "run a plumbing company or a small sandwich shop together", it said "RULE THE ENTIRE FRIGGING GALAXY." So Darth Vader, the greatest father in history, wanted to give his son power and wealth beyond measure, EVEN THOUGH HIS SON WAS A BIT OF A WIENER.

     

    Of course, we could also talk about how Darth Vader saved Luke on the second Death Star, sacrificing his own life to throw the Emperor down the reactor shaft. Or how he became a Force ghost so that he could constantly lovingly haunt watch over his children for all time, but we won't because we think you get the point by now TIME Magazine. You do, don't you?

     

    Now let's put the shiny black all-terrain durasteel boot on the other foot. Let's talk about you, TIME Magazine. Darth Vader is NOT a fictional character. He's been in six biographical documentaries about his life. There are photos of him all over the place. He even recently went to Disneyland. How many movies have you been in, TIME Magazine? How many guest appearances at children's parties have you made? Where are all the photos of you? Maybe YOU'RE the fictional character.

     

    What do you base this baselessly base article on? Where is your evidence, either empirical or epistemological? What surveys have you done, or statistics have you uncovered? Did you even conduct a phone poll of some description? No. Because you're a MAGAZINE. You don't even have a mouth.

     

    Finally, what gives you the right to judge people, TIME Magazine? How many little baby magazines have YOU fathered? Stick to what you know, what you're good at: selling a mere 45 million magazines a week.

     

    Yours sincerely,

    The Galactic Empire.

    I may need a break...

    in Just A Fan

    Posted

    I find myself in a really awkward place.

     

    I am doing more reading about the band than listening. While I love THE WHOLE LOVE and really enjoy the live shows I have gotten from torrents, I find myself rather disengaged from the band. I don't think I've listened to any Wilco for a couple of weeks (and that was a 2002 live boot).

     

    I have found myself taking breaks from bands that I rabidly follow (the list isn't nearly as long as it used to be) and get drawn back in with a new release (e.g. Springsteen).

     

    Maybe it's just the ennui of being exposed to so much.

    2012 NFL Thread...starting off with a bang

    in Tongue-Tied Lightning

    Posted

    The commish just dropped a dime on the Saints...(forgive the Cowboy-centric headline)

     

    From Dallasnews.com

     

    Saints won't have Sean Payton when they face Cowboys; former Dallas assistant suspended for 2012

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    SAINT.JPG

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Associated PressAssociated Press The Dallas Morning News

    Published: 21 March 2012 11:57 AM

     

     

     

     

    New_Orleans_Saints">New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton was suspended without pay for the 2012 season by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams was banned indefinitely on Wednesday because the team's players were paid bounties for big hits on opponents from 2009-11.

    The NFL said it is the first time the league has suspended a head coach. The explanation for Payton's ban indicates he tried to cover up what the Saints were doing.

    According to the NFL, Payton ignored instructions from the league and Saints ownership to make sure bounties weren't being paid. The league also chastised him Wednesday for choosing to “falsely deny that the program existed,” and for attempting to “encourage the false denials by instructing assistants to `make sure our ducks are in a row.“’

    Handing down sweeping and serious punishment for a system that paid out thousands of dollars for knocking specific players out of games, Goodell also banned Saints general manager Mickey Loomis for the first eight regular-season games next season, and assistant coach Joe Vitt for the first six games.

    In addition, Goodell fined the Saints $500,000 and took away their second-round draft picks this year and next.

    Goodell called what the Saints did “particularly unusual and egregious” and “totally unacceptable.”

    “We are all accountable and responsible for player health and safety and the integrity of the game. We will not tolerate conduct or a culture that undermines those priorities,” Goodell said in a statement released by the NFL. “No one is above the game or the rules that govern it.”

    After the NFL first made its investigation public on March 2, Williams admitted to — and apologized for — running the program as the Saints' defensive coordinator from 2009-11. He was hired by the St. Louis Rams this offseason.

    Goodell will review Williams' status after the upcoming season and decide whether he can return to the league.

    The Saints now must decide who will coach the team while Payton is barred, his suspension is effective April 1, and who will make roster moves while Loomis is out. After the NFL made clear that punishments were looming, Payton and Loomis took the blame for violations that they acknowledged “happened under our watch” and said Saints owner Tom Benson “had nothing to do” with the bounty pool, which reached as much as $50,000 in 2009, the season the Saints won the Super Bowl.

    The NFL said the scheme involved 22 to 27 defensive players, and that targeted opponents included quarterbacks Aaron Rodgers, Cam Newton, Brett Favre and Kurt Warner. “Knockouts” were worth $1,500 and “cart-offs” $1,000, with payments doubled or tripled for the playoffs.

    According to the league, Saints defensive captain Jonathan Vilma offered $10,000 to any player who knocked then-Vikings QB Favre out of the 2010 NFC championship game.

    All payouts for specific performances in a game, including interceptions or causing fumbles, are against NFL rules. The NFL warns teams against such practices before each season, although in the aftermath of the revelations about the Saints, current and former players from various teams talked about that sort of thing happening frequently — although not on the same scale as the NFL found in New Orleans.

    In a memo sent out to the NFL's 32 teams, Goodell ordered owners to make sure their clubs are not offering bounties now. Each club's principal owner and head coach must certify in writing by March 30 that no pay-for-performance system exists.

    Punishment for any Saints players involved will be determined later, because the league is still reviewing the case with the NFL Players Association.

    “While I will not address player conduct at this time, I am profoundly troubled by the fact that players — including leaders among the defensive players — embraced this program so enthusiastically and participated with what appears to have been a deliberate lack of concern for the well-being of their fellow players,” Goodell said.

    The discipline for the Saints' involvement in the bounty scheme is more far-reaching than what Goodell did in 2007, when the NFL came down on the New England Patriots for illegally videotaping an opponent. Goodell fined the Patriots $250,000, stripped a first-round draft pick, and docked their coach, Bill Belichick, $500,000 for what was known as “Spygate.”

    As recently as this year, Payton said he was entirely unaware of the bounties — “a claim contradicted by others,” the league said. And according to the investigation, Payton received an email before the Saints' first game in 2011 that read, “PS Greg Williams put me down for $5000 on Rogers (sic).” When Payton was shown that email by NFL investigators, he acknowledged it referred to a bounty on Rodgers, whose Packers beat the Saints in Week 1.

    The league said that in addition to contributing money to the bounty fund, Williams oversaw record-keeping, determined payout amounts and who got cash, and handed out envelopes with money to players. The NFL said that Williams acknowledged he intentionally misled NFL investigators when first questioned in 2010, and didn't try to stop the bounties.

    Vitt was aware of the bounties and, according to the league, later admitted he had “fabricated the truth” when interviewed in 2010.

    Loomis knew of the allegations about bounties no later than in February 2010, when he was told by the league to end them. But the NFL said he later admitted he didn't do enough to determine if there were bounties or to try to put an end to them.

×
×
  • Create New...