Sir Stewart Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IATTBYB Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Wow. I'd like to know how one "breaches the peace" in one's own, locked bedroom. There has got to be more to this story than what is being reported. And someone should alert the International Cycling Federation and the Tour de France of this new development in cycling. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Papa Crimbo Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Wow. I'd like to know how one "breaches the peace" in one's own, locked bedroom. There has got to be more to this story than what is being reported. And someone should alert the International Cycling Federation and the Tour de France of this new development in cycling. I'd like to know just how one fucks his/her bicycle? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
napoleon Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 I'd like to know just how one fucks his/her bicycle? i have the perfect picture for this, but i know better than to post it on a public forum. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Drazil Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Apparently you've never experienced the 'banana seat'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_fliz1 Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 I've got a bikeYou can ride it if you likeIt's got a basketA bell that ringsAnd things to make it look goodI'd give it to you if I couldBut I borrowed it Maybe Sid Barrett was on to something? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Edie Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Gary? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
froggie Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 there's so many parts to a bike - some would be painful Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted November 15, 2007 Author Share Posted November 15, 2007 It doesn't say whether or not he had a boner. It could have been some bicycle-themed version of a lemon party. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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