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The best story The Onion never published


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That was hilarious! Thanks for posting. It really is classic Onion material. But never published, really? It definately had some great quotes,

 

"What followed was nothing short of stunning............I just started ramping up the asinine levels to epic proprtions knowing that at some point, it would be too much... ".

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That was hilarious! Thanks for posting. It really is classic Onion material. But never published, really? It definately had some great quotes,

 

"What followed was nothing short of stunning............I just started ramping up the asinine levels to epic proprtions knowing that at some point, it would be too much... ".

The reason the Onion didn't publish it is because the Onion didn't write it.

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The story was way too high concept for the Onion.  The Onion specializes in the absurdity or irony of the mundane.  

 

While I liked the idea of the of the story, the writing was awful.  It read more like bad short fiction rather then an actual news story.  I mean 9 paragraphs in and then you get to the newsworthy portion (Rush Limbaugh is Andy Kaufman)?  Talk about burying the lead.  

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The reason the Onion didn't publish it is because the Onion didn't write it.

Yes, but, 'tis very Onion-esque... hence my subject line.

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You don't need to explain it to me, hoss.

Apparently I need to explain it to someone.

Hoss.

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