anthony Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop.The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
caliber66 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 How do you get rid of a tapeworm with six lemon cookies and a hammer? Crumble up one cookie and shove it up your ass every day at the same time of day for six days. On the seventh day, when the tapeworm doesn't get its lemon cookie on time, it pokes its head out of your ass and yells "Where's my lemon cookie!?!?" and you hit it over the head with the hammer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NoJ Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Vic Tayback! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kidsmoke Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 If I ever see an amputee being hung, I'll probably just start yelling out random letters. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clayton Kershaw Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I walked into a Coach store & immediately the store clerk asked me, "Can I help you find anything?" I quickly replied, "Craig T. Nelson." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Magnetized Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 This was posted on the Car Talk website: LAME JOKE OF THE WEEK The Late Night Lecture An elderly man driving erratically was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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