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We're dead in about 4 years


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My brother writes the backpage headlines for the Philly Daily News (tabloid). Some of his best:

 

Spit hits the fan (Barkley spits on little girl)

 

Beaut, Montana (Joe leads niners over birds)

 

Stinko de Flyo (Flyers eliminated from playoffs on May 5)

 

We were Piston (Larry Brown leaves sixers for Detroit, bold type actually in yellow ink.)

I used to write headlines... I can't remember many, but I do recall that our city once had a star high school athlete with the last name of Butt, and my headline was "Butt Heads For State."

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I used to write headlines... I can't remember many, but I do recall that our city once had a star high school athlete with the last name of Butt, and my headline was "Butt Heads For State."

:lol

 

That name offers virtually limitless possibilities...

 

Butt Sweats Out Tough Win

Butt Shines in State Tourney

etc.

 

Hopefully he went to a high school named for some luminary...

 

Lombardi's Butt Conquers Field in State Meet

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Well its obvious to me that the bees don't wan't to get wet in 13 years and are offing themselves in record numbers.

 

For the record, I don't see a significant decrease in the effing wasp population. :realmad

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Maybe the wasps are coming in (across the border, so to speak) and stealing the bees' pollinating jobs. I bet if the honeybees set up a "Minutemen" type of organization, they'd be back in a hurry.

 

Why not just erect a net across the border?

 

erect-a-net

 

did that used to be a board game or something?

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The answer to what happened to America's vanishing honeybees is simple, a caller told entomologist May Berenbaum: Bee rapture. They were called away to heaven.

:lol I think this is my favourite!

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I was the sports editor of my hometown newspaper my senior year of HS (first school-run city newspaper in the nation, actually)

 

I only used a pun once.....our girls BBall team beat the eventual state champion team, who was missing their star player (last name Topp)

 

Girls Basketball: "Flyers beat Topp-less Mustangs"

 

yeah, kinda lame

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