cryptique

Top Five Clever Sayings That Aren't

Whatever it is, my employer's web filter blocks it.

All that reading must be really hard for you.

"Giving you the inside view of everything -- from my colon to the crisis in the Middle East -- I'm Katie Couric saying goodnight."

Maybe this?

G'night, suckers!

Top Five Frank Stallone Films

Top Five Numbers Between 1 And 5, Inclusive

Top Five Useless TV Hosts Start with the guys (brothers?) who introduce programming on ESPN Classic. WTF? Other nominees: Matt Gallant, host of a "Funniest Animals" show on Animal Planet; anyone who's ever hosted "America's Funniest Home Videos," and Tony Danza. I submitted that mostly because I wanted to gripe about the idiots on ESPN Classic. Dammit, you morons, I just want to watch Stump the Schwab. GET OFF MY TV SCREEN NOW PLEASE.

I've really been digging this. I guess she's huge in Europe, but I'd never heard of her until a few days ago.

There's a whole bunch of fucking idiots in East Lansing who would probably dispute you on that.

Was he working on his tan outside the pork store?

You've had better luck with your FM transmitter than I have, then. I can't get mine to provide a strong enough signal, no matter what frequency it's tuned to. It didn't take me long to abandon it in favor of the cassette adapter. It probably would. That car has put in five meritorious years of service (as of next week, actually) since I bought it used, but it's really not worth much of anything at this point.

If you and I ever watch the OSU-Michigan game together, at least we'll be able to agree on pizza.

I think Texas will win, but it will be a good game.

Is there really an Ypsilanti County somewhere? Ypsilanti is the next town over, and it's in Washtenaw County...

My parents were the same way. We are also forcing ourselves to be savers rather than credit-card buyers. Sure, we forgo a lot of luxuries, but we sleep better at night.

**REPORTED**

You think you wouldn't otherwise? Also:

Speaking of intolerance, why do you hate Wilco?

Someone should Photoshop carlosmonkey glasses onto that last one.

So, what, you're all posting GILFs now?

How dare they not preserve the campus exactly as it was when I was there.