When hecklers write

[owl]

I found this article recently, in a search for Califone press. Call me crazy, but in the spirit of Edward Abbey, I decided to give this guy a piece of my mind.

 

Article link

 

Society complacent when it comes to 'art'

by Paul Thompson

pat1002@psu.edu.

 

Saturday night, while the storm was still raging between your stomach and those thirty-some pre-noon Natural Lights, I was standing in The Empty Bottle in Chicago, staring down Tim Rutili of Califone.

 

One too many maudlin banjo lines and a few gulps of my Old Style later, I knew it was time to make my move. I tapped my woman-friend on the shoulder and stage-whispered "can you believe, in this entire city, this is the best thing happening tonight?"

 

My name is Paul Thompson, and I am a world-class heckler.

 

I thought maybe Califone's quietly stunning new album Roots & Crowns might take to the stage with a little fervor, but Rutili and company's creaky country-blues jumps out of my MacBook speakers about the same as it did from the dingy cabinets at the Empty Bottle. I like Califone enough to have paid $25 for a couple of tickets to see them, but I don't like anything enough not to complain if it's boring me.

 

So when I yelped, to no one in particular, "phonin' it in on the old Cali-phone!" and the geeky 30-something indie rock washouts in front of me turned and glared, I couldn't help but shrug in reply. My ranting might've been a bit harsh, but they were no less true for it.

 

I go to a lot of shows; as many as my limited budget and less-than-prime geographical location will permit. I've witnessed some of the best bands of our time coerce thunder and lightning out of people, and even let a few shatter my sometimes disaffected personality with their rock'n'roll blitzkrieg.

 

There are only a few things finer than the feeling of standing a couple feet away from a gaggle of geniuses coaxing some kind of wonderful from their guitars, and if you've ever been to a truly life-altering live performance of any sort, you'd throw a puppy down a manhole to get that feeling back.

 

But rock'n'roll will break your heart, too, and you've got to brace yourself for it. Far too often the glorious noise of a compact disc exhilarates in ways that don't translate to the stage. It's at this point that you've got to master the snide comment, for the greater good of art. I remember seeing The Walkmen shortly after their superb Bows and Arrows platter dropped, but their murky vocals and relentless tempos had me screaming toward the stage for Interpol songs.

 

The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers -- possibly the world's finest Death Cab for Cutie tribute band -- opened for The Mountain Goats in Swarthmore last fall, and my female companion practically had to glue her hand to my mouth to get me to stop swooning "I love you, Ben!" at their singer. And I'm sure if Three Doors Down could've heard any of the barbs traded between my former roommate and I during their show at Bryce Jordan Center last spring, punches would've been thrown.

 

We've gotten far too complacent as a society about what passes as art. When I pay money to see a concert, I want the band to look like they're enjoying themselves, or at least concentrating fiercely; but Califone did neither the other night, and I could neither dig it nor really pay attention. Our most popular television shows are mostly vacuous garbage, yet I feel like Brutus whenever I say an unkind word about the oafish acting skills of Dr. McHothot on Grey's Anatomy.

 

There are decent films to be seen in the world today, but State College -- much like the rest of the nation -- only seems to secure the overblown two-star junk Hollywood keeps churning out. But where's the outrage? Where are the folks throwing up their hands and saying "I'm mad as hell that Employee of the Month is showing on eight screens but we can't get The Science of Sleep, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" If you don't stand up for art, it can only stand up for itself for so long before it withers and dies.

 

So the next time you're at a lousy movie or watching precious dollars slip between your fingers as a band disappoints, speak your mind about it to anyone who'll listen. It's the only way to rid public places of rampant heckling for good and always.

 

My response:

 

Greetings,

 

You should have worked harder on your opinion piece for the Daily Collegian. You're certainly right that the American media is loaded with human waste, but your article has me wondering if your weird connections indicate an inability to tell good art from bad, or art from non-art.

 

You say: "We've gotten far too complacent as a society about what passes as art. When I pay money to see a concert, I want the band to look like they're enjoying themselves, or at least concentrating fiercely."

 

With that, then, the show would've been art? I suppose you can never criticize a painting, then, because you can never witness the artist as he furiously mixes his colors and smashes the oil into the canvas?

 

You might also want to consider that television is a bad place to look for any art. I'm not sure how you jumped so quickly from a live concert to the soap opera "Gray's Anatomy," but it nonetheless implies that your boredom at a show translates to its being "vacuous, oafish garbage." This, from a heckler.

 

Writing an article is certainly better then heckling as a means to criticize, but neither your scatterschatt article nor your heckling are helpful here. Perhaps you're just bitter because people found heckling to be un-humorous. It just so happens that most people find disruption of their enjoyment to be irritating, especially when it comes to something that you haven't actually defined: art.

 

You shouldn't be proud of hecking, unless you're also proud to be annoying, impolite, and non-constructive. What purpose does it serve, other than to make the players self-conscious, embarrass your special lady friend (no doubt almost ready to sever ties with you), annoy more polite concert-goers, and increase stress?

 

Being in a crowd with a heckler is embarrassing enough. Maybe you should stick to those Three Doors Down concerts and other ripoff bands, the easy targets. Either that, or shut up and let your keyboard do the talking. At least, then, you're being constructive, and not just immature.

 

What do YOU think?

[caliber66]

I think you should have probably spent a little more time criticizing his clich

[viatroy]

dude's a fucktard. plain and simple.

 

It's not a ball game, it's a concert, and no one else who paid money to see it wants to hear your opinion.

If you think it sucks, leave.

 

that's what I think.

[cryptique]

What an asshat. I would remind him that everyone else paid the same twenty-five bucks he did, and it wasn't to hear his dumbass witticisms.

 

When he writes a piece about how much fun it is to sing along at the top of his lungs, drowning out the sound of the P.A. for those around him, let me know -- I already have that letter half written.

[watch me fall]

He should stick to heckling Carrot Top. He's obviously way out of his league here.

[JUDE]

Do you have an address or P.O. box or something for this guy?

[deepseacatfish]

This guys pretty much a jerk, I would love to see a Califone show, but can't afford to make the trip so instead they get audience members like him. Anybody got a brick to mail?

[owl]

Maybe an e-brick (email at the top).

[street spirit]

I actually found Califone a bit boring live when I saw them... good, but not terribly exciting.

 

But I just moved to the back and shut my mouth like a decent human being.

[tongue-tied]

don't you guys see? if everyone yelled at califone, they might have played better.

[cryptique]

This same guy yelled at Michael J. Fox to just stand still for once.

[owl]

I actually found Califone a bit boring live when I saw them... good, but not terribly exciting.

 

But I just moved to the back and shut my mouth like a decent human being.

 

To each his own. Nobody can prevent themselves from feeling bored when it happens. But, like you're saying, that's no excuse to infringe upon others' enjoyment.

 

My guess is that 400 people x $25 is more valuable than my measly $25.

 

don't you guys see? if everyone yelled at califone, they might have played better.

 

Ahhhhh, it all makes sense now.

[Atticus]

I can't believe that guy hates puppies so.

 

[caliber66]

To each his own. Nobody can prevent themselves from feeling bored when it happens. But, like you're saying, that's no excuse to infringe upon others' enjoyment.

 

My guess is that 400 people x $25 is more valuable than my measly $25.

 

Maybe everyone should be issued a shoulder-mounted flagpole with two flags upon entering a venue, and you would raise the flag that corresponds to your feelings about the artist's performance - green for "OMG AWESOEM" and red for "You're Cali-phonin' it in, Dr. McHothot" - and whenever a preponderance of red is reached, anyone with their red flag raised is entitled to hurl one (1) witty rejoinder or one (1) C cell battery at the stage. All flags will then be reset, and if the band is able and willing to continue, they get a five minute grace period in which to start rocking your face off, after which the flag system begins anew.

 

Any takers?

[owl]

Brilliant.

 

The other thing that bugs me (and I wanted to try to keep my personal grudge out of it) is that Califone are friendly, modest, unwealthy guys without trust funds who just want to play together and do interesting things and genuinely want to make good music and be as friendly as possible to their fans.

 

They're in there with the last people who deserve a heckle just because a listener is bored.

[Wendy]

He's talking about the Empty Bottle show last weekend? He's nuts. I was there, and it was an incredible performance by insanely talented musicians who happen not to be dancing monkeys. They are skinny music geeks with tiny underpants (I believe that is a direct Tim Rutilli quote, I'll dig it up if you doubt me )

 

I was freakin BLOWN AWAY by Califone (but admittedly, I'm obsessing about them right now). My first Califone show and it entranced me. I was like this for almost 2 hours.

 

I remember hearing that asshole, too - plus there was more heckling (probably him as well) asking the band to play some reggae or some other genre of music. I can't remember now exactly what he said, I was sooooo tuning him out. *trying hard!*

 

He said it once - no one paid any attention to him. So he said it again, in a more clear and loud voice -- and got a response. ("Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!")

 

Damn, I feel so sorry for his lady friend. I would never go to shows with anyone who behaved that way. Never. I would be so mortally embarassed, that would be the end of it.

[EL the Famous]

This guy is as bad as Hitler.

[Sir Stewart]

...just like your momma.

[EL the Famous]

...just like your momma.

 

and i'm gonna' win alllll the money...alllll the money.

[Sir Stewart]

and i'm gonna' win alllll the money...alllll the money.

Game Theory is growing on me like spacemoss on Jordy Verrill.

[Wendy]

This guy is as bad as Hitler.

And I would never go to a concert with Hilter, either.

[EL the Famous]

Game Theory is growing on me like spacemoss on Jordy Verrill.

 

Word. I still ain't sick of it.

 

I'd go to a concert w/ Hitler, just to see if he goosestepped instead of dancing and did the sig heil thing instead of raising a lighter in appreciation. and then I would kill him.

[cryptique]

I'd go to a concert w/ Hitler, just to see if he goosestepped instead of dancing and did the sig heil thing instead of raising a lighter in appreciation. and then I would kill him.

Before you kill him, you should see if you can set him up with Ann Coulter.

[EL the Famous]

Before you kill him, you should see if you can set him up with Ann Coulter.

 

I have no desire to go to a concert w/ her. She's a deadhead and probably does that stupid twirly hippie dance.

[owl]

Before you kill him, you should see if you can set him up with Ann Coulter.

 

I'm pretty sure that would cause a rift in the space-time continuum (see Michael J. Fox thread for further discussion).