Concert Etiquette

[barbkm]

Okay -- it's happened to us all. You having a great time at the show, then someone or a group of somones kind of spoil it. And it usually comes down to a lack of respect for those around you. Most Wilco fan are nice and respectful of others' concert experiences -- but there may be a bad apple in the mix. So, if you want to sit and cotemplate to music, or shake your thang, here are some suggestions I have to ensure that all people can have a great time. As Jeff said, "It's not just you. You're part of a group of people in a really beautiful way. It's wonderful."

 

Let's keep it wonderful, folks!

 

1 -- No talking duing solo acoustic shows (that's obvious)

2 -- Make friends! Friends make the long wait on line fun and interesting. Friends save your spot in the front row -- that you braved hours in the boiling sun, soaking rain, or feeezing cold for - when you need a drink, snack, or potty. (BTW -- this has never been difficult at the Wilco show.)

3 -- If you want to get in the front at a General Admission show, get on line early with the rest of the die hards -- the folks who braved hours in the boiling sun, soaking rain, or feeezing cold. I don't care if your sweet gray-haried grandma is in the front row, just don't do it. And just because your boobs are big and shirt is low, does not mean entitlement for the front. You have to work or pay for it.

4 -- Repect personal space. Feel free to dance and bop at will -- I do -- but no one wants you mashing up against them or stepping on their toes. Try what I do -- I don't move my feet. I bounce in place. A bonus-- this is a great upper thigh and ass work out. If I had 2 or 3 shows a week, my ass would be rockin!

5-- Repect the opening act. They are well aware that we can't wait for them to end, but if the bands we love like them enough to have them open, then they deserve our attention.

 

Those are some of my thoughts. I realize that I may get beat up a little bit for this, but you are all thinkin it, right?

[IRememberDBoon]

And just because your boobs are big and shirt is low, does not mean entitlement for the front. You have to work or pay for it.

4 -- Repect personal space. Feel free to dance and bop at will -- I do -- but no one wants you mashing up against them or stepping on their toes. Try what I do -- I don't move my feet. I bounce in place. A bonus-- this is a great upper thigh and ass work out. If I had 2 or 3 shows a week, my ass would be rockin!

5-- Repect the opening act. They are well aware that we can't wait for them to end, but if the bands we love like them enough to have them open, then they deserve our attention.

 

#3 (Big Boobs Part) Obviously you dont know who Pat Sansone (Sandy Duncan) is

#5 and I could barely make it through John Doe at New Orleans and thats about the best opening act theyve ever had

[SeattleC]

#5 and I could barely make it through John Doe at New Orleans and thats about the best opening act theyve ever had

 

Got to see the Fleet Foxes open, that wasn't too shabby.

 

I agree with your points barbkm. Especially point 2. Waiting for general admissions show to open are alot nicer when you make a friend and trade happy hour time beforehand while you are holding a place in line.

[barbkm]

Got to see the Fleet Foxes open, that wasn't too shabby.

 

Or Andrew Bird

[AndyB]

While I totally agree with everything you're saying, do you really think anyone who's going to seek out and read a Wilco message board doesn't understand these things?

[The High Heat]

#3 (Big Boobs Part) Obviously you dont know who Pat Sansone (Sandy Duncan) is

#5 and I could barely make it through John Doe at New Orleans and thats about the best opening act theyve ever had

 

They just had Conor Oberst during the ballpark tour. Last time I checked, he's pretty damned good.

[bigshoulders]

Just One Request

Going to A Concert? Don't Play The Fool.

 

By David Segal

Washington Post Staff Writer

Tuesday, July 20, 2004; Page C01

 

Nick Lowe has just finished 90 minutes of solo music at the Birchmere, a set that included all of his best-known songs -- except one. The silver-haired daddy of British pop hasn't played "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love & Understanding," a track that he wrote and that helped make Elvis Costello famous in the 1970s. So everybody knows what's coming when Lowe returns to the stage for an encore. He strums the opening chords and a ripple of delight rolls through the room.

 

Then stops. A man in a striped shirt has wobbled up to the stage, a hand-drawn sign in one hand, a drink in the other. He edges so close to the spotlight that Lowe has no choice but to ask what he wants.

 

"Zmmuphhmen," comes the reply. Or something like that. Lowe looks baffled.

 

"What?" he asks, politely.

 

"Zmmuphhmen!" There's a Web address on the sign, and Lowe gamely tries to read it out loud. By now, whatever spell had mesmerized this room is gone, replaced by confusion, which is soon replaced by rage. All at once, fans realize what has happened. Their joy has been killed -- at least for the moment -- by a Concert Fool.

 

There is no escaping the Concert Fool. He (and every once in a while, she) is the chronic carbuncle on the butt of rock, an inflammation that makes it hard to really get comfortable. The Concert Fool is either unglued by music, or drunk, or unaware of the invisible line that separates civilization from anarchy. Or aware of the line but past caring about it. Mostly, the Concert Fool is having a great time because these guys rawwwwk and because it's a concert and up top, dude. Rock and roll!

 

Ultimately, the Concert Fool is confused. He believes that the rules of courtesy have been suspended during showtime, which isn't exactly true. Though it's not entirely false, either. At a typical rock concert, you get far more leash than you do at, say, the theater or the symphony. The Concert Fool, however, misconstrues limited license for an excuse to vomit on your girlfriend's pants.

 

Decorum at a rock concert is actually venue-dependent; what will fly at the 9:30 club, where bands skew loud and young, will get you tossed from the Birchmere, where the acts are generally quieter and pitched to adults. You need to sit down and zip it at the Birchmere and halls like it, which seems proper for a singer like Nick Lowe, whose distorted-amp days are well behind him. But even at 9:30 -- as well as the Black Cat, MCI Center, Merriweather Post and other venues -- you need a set of manners, even if those manners fall somewhere between the standards of decency for a baseball game and the standards of decency for a kegger. Most fans settle comfortably within that fairly broad range, finding a way to exult in the show without thrashing the collective buzz.

 

The Concert Fool, on the other hand, finds inventive ways to annoy. A wide variety stalk the nation's pop venues, and during my years as a pop-music critic, I've seen them all. So here's a field guide to what's out there -- a taxonomy, if you will, of show-going morons. Avoid them if you can.

 

The Singer wants to the world to know he's got a great voice. So he sings. Really, really loud, during the lulls, during the shrieks. All the time. Fans of James Mercer met a prime example of this genus of Concert Fool last year at Iota, when Mercer, the lead singer of the Shins, closed a showcase for the Seattle label Sub Pop. Toward the end of his set, Mercer played "New Slang," his most popular tune, but suddenly you could barely hear the guy. A Singer had chimed in -- eyes closed, shot glass hoisted -- at a volume loud enough to drown out the man everyone had paid to hear.

 

The Reckless Smoker -- A cigarette is a dangerous weapon around people packed together tight. At a Guided by Voices show in New York -- before that glorious smoking ban went into effect -- fans were so jammed one night at a club called Tramps that you had to applaud with your hands above your head. This didn't stop a guy behind me from lighting up -- and then singeing some unlucky fan standing in front of him. "Sorry, man," the Smoker said. No doubt this made the burn victim feel a whole lot better.

 

The Angler -- They arrived late, and they don't want to stand in the back. So the Anglers connive to get close to the stage, which is tricky -- and rude -- at a show that's sold out. The most inventive Angler I've seen waited till right before the first song and pretended to be on the verge of vomiting as he waded toward the lip of the stage. People leapt out of his way. When he got to the front, he just smiled.

 

More recently, at a Bob Dylan show, a woman murmured "That's my husband" as she nudged her way to a place at a forward section on the floor of the 9:30 club. She slipped an arm around a tall man and smiled as if greeting her mate. Which he wasn't. The man gave her a confounded look and a polite brushoff. Why she thought this would work is a mystery, but I had the sense it wasn't the first time she'd tried the gambit. In this instance she retreated, muttering: "What a jerk."

 

The Requestaholic -- They came for one song, and they're going to hear that song if it kills them. Which it nearly did at a couple of Bruce Springsteen's solo shows during his "Ghost of Tom Joad" tour in 1996. The Boss asked fans at the outset not to shout for tunes, and in those cities where the Requestaholics wouldn't stop, Springsteen threatened to ask fans nearby to take matters into their own hands.

 

For performers, you can imagine the frustration, especially at a show for an album like "Joad," which was somber and low-key. Anyway, most set lists are cooked up well before a tour hits the road, so shouting is nearly always pointless. It's just annoying. One of the few things I remember about the Steve Earle show at the 9:30 two years ago is a twit who screamed "Jackalope Eye!" at least 25 times over the course of the show. Earle tried to shut him up by doing a belittling impersonation of him. But the true Requestaholic won't let a little humiliation get in the way.

 

"Jackalope Eye!" he screamed during the very next break.

 

The Talker -- The bane of nearly every show. A shocking number of ticket buyers regard rock concerts as ideal moments to catch up with friends. I can remember a pair of women nattering through a My Morning Jacket concert, a guy flirting shamelessly with a mini-shirted damsel at a Peaches show, a half-dozen drinkers at Iota who didn't seem to realize a band was in the room. The most stupefying Talker I've seen was at a Melissa Etheridge show at the Warner Theatre, a woman who called a friend on her cell phone just as Etheridge hit the stage.

 

"I'm at the show! Yeah, Melissa just came on! Yeah! Can you hear me? What? Can you hear her? What?" There were murderous stares from everyone in her vicinity -- and then verbal threats -- but it didn't matter. The dedicated Talker doesn't care.

 

The Stander -- Ordinarily, this is not a big deal. But if everyone else is sitting, it can lead to violence. At a Peter Gabriel show at MCI Center, one Stander, a thirtyish woman in jeans, had the misfortune of blocking the view of a true Concert Fool (see Grabber, below) who slapped her rear end when she refused to have a seat. She ran for the cops, and he hustled out of that section of the arena, presumably to watch the show from another seat.

The Grabber -- One who grabs. See above.

 

That's the list. If you recognize yourself in any of these categories, let me ask a favor on behalf of everyone else who loves live music: Stay home and wait for the DVD.

 

Even if there won't be a DVD.

 

Pretty please?

[barbkm]

Love it!

[Atleast thats what I think]

Warm up bands have been 50/50 for me. Conor Oberst, Andrew Bird and Bon Iver have been fantastic. However, seeing Hem in Saratoga, NY was pretty bad. And I have the distinction of seeing Death Holz not once, but twice. At 9:30 some years back, and then on my pilgrimage to Chicago in November 2007. And at that same Chicago show, what was up with the big rabbit coming out to play on a kiddie piano? The two Tweedy acoustic shows I've seen have had GREAT warm up acts! It's been hit or miss.

[LouieB]

I wish I had a dime for every time this was discussed here over the years. When venues went to GA and more specifically, no chairs, they opened the door for all kinds of bad behavior that will never change. As long as folks think they can do whatever they want and not give a shit about anyone else in the audience, we will get these kinds of complaints.

 

(My two favorite stories both involve young women, one who burned me with a cigarette twice at Summerfest and the other who pushed right up against me prior to one of the Residency shows because she couldn't see; this was long before the show even started. I had to turn around, step on her foot and threaten her to get her to back off.)

 

LouieB

[bigshoulders]

Louie,

Was that on the final night of the Residency?

I recall Mary and I standing next to you and Maggie and there was some really odd girl that none of us knew that was very stalker-ish. She came out of nowhere.

[Smokestack Joe]

i can't remember what show exactly, it was a solo Tweedy show, i think it may have been on at U of I-Champaign. During a quiet song, a quiet break during a song, some jackass yelled out a big YEY!!!, Tweedy momentarily stopped playing and said "that was inappropriate," the crowd cheered.

 

yeah, that jackass ruined the moment. i dont get why jackasses do that.

[itstillmoves84]

i can't remember what show exactly, it was a solo Tweedy show, i think it may have been on at U of I-Champaign. During a quiet song, a quiet break during a song, some jackass yelled out a big YEY!!!, Tweedy momentarily stopped playing and said "that was inappropriate," the crowd cheered.

 

yeah, that jackass ruined the moment. i dont get why jackasses do that.

 

Listen to "When The Roses Bloom" from DC Night 2 -- Feb 27, 2008. Tweedy says "maybe there should be a sign -- concert is actually happening. maybe we would know"

 

Basically, this woman was dancing uncontrollably (an obnoxiously) in the front row at 9:30 in DC. Well she kept bumping into this younger girl and the girl got pissed. She asked the lady to stop but she just kept doing it. Needless to say, everyone around her, including myself, was upset by this. Everyone was so distracted including the band. Jeff at one point during one of the bridges came over at the end of the stage and strummed for about 30 seconds as to say "are you fucking kidding me". Then let out that banter. The lady eventually got kicked out and order was restored.

[bjorn_skurj]

People should go to more classical music concerts so they can learn them some manners.

[Guest Speed Racer]

Barb, thanks for your efforts, but I believe everything we need to know about concert ettiquette was already outlined for those of us at VC here.

[bigshoulders]

Barb, thanks for your efforts, but I believe everything we need to know about concert ettiquette was already outlined for those of us at VC here.

Wow, that's like a time machine... that Archive. Saint G. posted in that thread.

[Guest Speed Racer]

Wow, that's like a time machine... that Archive. Saint G. posted in that thread.

 

No she didn't; she owned.

[IRememberDBoon]

I was on mushroom chocolates at Tipitinas and some dink behind me started singing EVERY single word to EVERY single song. After about three songs I couldn’t take it and took off out of the crowd and ran to the back of the room. The mushies had me embarrassed for the guy or something. I flipped.

[tugmoose]

yeah, that jackass ruined the moment. i dont get why jackasses do that.

Because, for that moment, the jackass become significant. For good or bad, people crave significance. At least that's what Tony Robbins told me.

 

[RedVelvet]

Listen to "When The Roses Bloom" from DC Night 2 -- Feb 27, 2008. Tweedy says "maybe there should be a sign -- concert is actually happening. maybe we would know"

 

Basically, this woman was dancing uncontrollably (an obnoxiously) in the front row at 9:30 in DC. Well she kept bumping into this younger girl and the girl got pissed. She asked the lady to stop but she just kept doing it. Needless to say, everyone around her, including myself, was upset by this. Everyone was so distracted including the band. Jeff at one point during one of the bridges came over at the end of the stage and strummed for about 30 seconds as to say "are you fucking kidding me". Then let out that banter. The lady eventually got kicked out and order was restored.

 

I was standing to the right of this woman...she was obnoxious. Good for Jeff, I remember being relieved when he did that.

 

I caught both shows in Milwaukee in April. A guy in front of me was literally yelling over the music. I tapped him on the shoulder lightly and motioned with my hand for him to lower his voice. He had the nerve to ask "am I talking too loudly for you?" to which I replied "considering there's a band on stage and they're performing? yes, you are talking too loudly for me." Jerk.

 

Sadly, basic, common courtesy seems to have gone the way of the wagon wheel...at concerts and everywhere else.

[barbkm]

Barb, thanks for your efforts, but I believe everything we need to know about concert ettiquette was already outlined for those of us at VC here.

 

Sorry -- just needed to vent.

[gogo]

Sorry -- just needed to vent.

No, she's just teasing you. Click on that archived thread. If you needed to vent, then you could probably use the laugh, too.

[Beltmann]

Barb, thanks for your efforts, but I believe everything we need to know about concert ettiquette was already outlined for those of us at VC here.

Ah, those were the days!

[Nobody Girl]

yeah, that jackass ruined the moment. i dont get why jackasses do that.

Because they're jackasses.

 

 

Listen to "When The Roses Bloom" from DC Night 2 -- Feb 27, 2008. Tweedy says "maybe there should be a sign -- concert is actually happening. maybe we would know"

 

Basically, this woman was dancing uncontrollably (an obnoxiously) in the front row at 9:30 in DC. Well she kept bumping into this younger girl and the girl got pissed. She asked the lady to stop but she just kept doing it. Needless to say, everyone around her, including myself, was upset by this. Everyone was so distracted including the band. Jeff at one point during one of the bridges came over at the end of the stage and strummed for about 30 seconds as to say "are you fucking kidding me". Then let out that banter. The lady eventually got kicked out and order was restored.

That was easily one of the most annoying moments I've experienced at a concert.

 

Barb, thanks for your efforts, but I believe everything we need to know about concert ettiquette was already outlined for those of us at VC here.

BigRay

[HungryHippo]

call me a party pooper but i hate drunk people at shows. just got back from seeing Bob Dylan and 2/3 of the audience was plastered. all i want to do is listen to the music and watch my fav. band/ artist perform. i don't care if people sing and dance along, just try and be sober about it. but no, i get sweaty drunk guys falling all over me. if they were cute drunk girls, that'd be ok but they're always guys. and then the drunk guys inevitably try and hit on the pretty sober girls standing around enjoying the music and they're really loud and obnoxious about it like, "hey you're so hot, wanna drink?" and i'm like, "dude, Bob Dylan is 100 feet away from us playing It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding) and you're trying to pick up a girl?" what a freakin' world we live in.

 

ok, that's my rant for the month.