Break up Music

[Shakespeare In The Alley]

Maybe it's because I'm in the middle of a divorce, but I hear a ton of loss and looking back on this new Dylan disc. Even "It's All Good" is sarcastic as hell.

Yea, there's a fair amount of sarcasm, but I don't think it's heartbreaking, per se. It's right in line with his previous two (kinda three. TOOM is a rather heartbreaking album) albums. There's a ton of looking back, but it doesn't often come across as depressing. Maybe it's just me, but I enjoy how Dylan can weave his killer sense of humor, and appreciation of sarcasm into songs that do look back at past experiences.

 

In other words, the nostalgic songs on TTL don't come near matching the intensity of stuff like Idiot Wind.

 

To get back on topic, and answer OP's question, listen to the electric version of Idiot Wind if you're angry. And listen to the acoustic version if you're sad. Both are incredible at capturing everything about a relationship's end.

 

Then listen to It's All Over Now, Baby Blue or It Ain't Me, Babe if you want to say good riddance once and for all.

 

Good lord, Dylan knows how to write about a break-up.

[Sir Stewart]

In other words, the nostalgic songs on TTL don't come near matching the intensity of stuff like Idiot Wind.

 

You realize you're saying this to somebody who just let you know that he's going through a divorce and the album means a lot to him right now. You're not going to win that argument. It isn't science.

[Shakespeare In The Alley]

You realize you're saying this to somebody who just let you know that he's going through a divorce and the album means a lot to him right now. You're not going to win that argument. It isn't science.

Oh yes, true.

I neglected to add the "to me" to that sentence.

 

'Tis all an opinion, of course.

[bjorn_skurj]

i know it is best for me to just cut all ties with her and all forms of communication. But i don't really want to end this relationship either. she is the one who wants to end it. so it's alot easier said than done. i think it is just time for me to stop being a pussy and get on with getting over it. again, easier said than done but maybe if i put my mind to it...

"Hardly Getting Over It" - Hüsker Dü.

[Sir Stewart]

Oh yes, true.

I neglected to add the "to me" to that sentence.

 

'Tis all an opinion, of course.

 

True, true.

[cusacker]

'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths. Jesus, what a heavy song. 'Elizabeth, You Were Born To Play That Part' on 29 by Ryan Adams is another of my main 'go to' songs in such situations.

 

'Love is natural and real but not for such as you and I, my love...' Yikes.

[Terrapin Ben]

still sucks. nights and mornings are still awful. it's like i can go all day and get by by hoping that she is going to call or text me. but then night comes and i realized it's not going to happen and that i'm going to be alone. and then i wake up alone, and it reminds me that it's over. then i go to work and don't get much done. and repeat. ugh.

[jc4prez]

No offense to Ben but......... Does anyone else feel that "break up music" is not what one needs immediately after the fact? I recently got in a serious fight with my other half and threw some music on after she left which I had to turn off. When I finally was relaxed the last thing I wanted to hear was some guy sing about his love problems that were nothing like my own.

 

The thing that soothes me after emotional trauma is something that takes me away from whatever I just went through. This sort of reminds me of when my Uncle passed away and I was looking for solace in my record collection but everything just sounded cliche.

 

So I guess what I'm getting at is that the best break up albums aren't break up albums, they're the ones that help you move on rather then dwell.

 

It may have been said but if I were you I'd throw on:

 

[Shakespeare In The Alley]

No offense to Ben but......... Does anyone else feel that "break up music" is not what one needs immediately after the fact? I recently got in a serious fight with my other half and threw some music on after she left which I had to turn off. When I finally was relaxed the last thing I wanted to hear was some guy sing about his love problems that were nothing like my own.

 

The thing that soothes me after emotional trauma is something that takes me away from whatever I just went through. This sort of reminds me of when my Uncle passed away and I was looking for solace in my record collection but everything just sounded cliche.

 

So I guess what I'm getting at is that the best break up albums aren't break up albums, they're the ones that help you move on rather then dwell.

 

It may have been said but if I were you I'd throw on:

 

Kind of Blue is an anything album.

 

It's too damn wonderful to classify as music for one particular mood.

 

And I kind of agree with you. "Break up" music can put things in perspective, but it's obviously dark and depressing music for the most part. More darkness and depression is probably not a good idea.

[Sir Stewart]

^^I can see what you mean^^ but sometimes a man's gotta wallow in it.

 

still sucks. nights and mornings are still awful. it's like i can go all day and get by by hoping that she is going to call or text me. but then night comes and i realized it's not going to happen and that i'm going to be alone. and then i wake up alone, and it reminds me that it's over. then i go to work and don't get much done. and repeat. ugh.

 

[jc4prez]

Kind of Blue is an anything album.

 

It's too damn wonderful to classify as music for one particular mood.

 

And I kind of agree with you. "Break up" music can put things in perspective, but it's obviously dark and depressing music for the most part. More darkness and depression is probably not a good idea.

 

 

I wasn't saying that "Kind Of Blue" is break up music, like my post said the best music for emotional trauma is something that takes you out of your surroundings, which will help put things in perspective.

 

I can't see how "blood on the tracks" is going to help anyone move on, except for Bob Dylan. The recording of that album (or many of the ones mentioned in this thread) helped the artist transcend their troubles. Maybe the best break up music is your own.

[Sir Stewart]

I wasn't saying that "Kind Of Blue" is break up music, like my post said the best music for emotional trauma is something that takes you out of your surroundings, which will help put things in perspective.

 

I can't see how "blood on the tracks" is going to help anyone move on, except for Bob Dylan. The recording of that album (or many of the ones mentioned in this thread) helped the artist transcend their troubles. Maybe the best break up music is your own.

 

Who said anything about moving on?

[jc4prez]

^^I can see what you mean^^ but sometimes a man's gotta wallow in it.

 

But like I was just saying your not wallowing in "it" your wallowing in their "it" which more then likely is a lot different from your situation. Which potentially can ruin any chances of fixing your problems because neil young has screwed with your perspective.

[jc4prez]

Who said anything about moving on?

 

I mean why not just slice your wrists then................Ben please don't kill yourself I don't need that on my mind.

[Shakespeare In The Alley]

I wasn't saying that "Kind Of Blue" is break up music, like my post said the best music for emotional trauma is something that takes you out of your surroundings, which will help put things in perspective.

Yea, I know. I'm pretty damn into that album lately, so I jumped at the chance to extol it's virtues.

[Lodestar]

Who said anything about moving on?

 

This is key. Wallowing is what makes us human.

[Sir Stewart]

Butlike I was just saying your not wallowing in "it" your wallowing intheir "it" which more then likely is a lot different from yoursituation.

 

Situations are unique but heartache that comes from it is universal. When I was listening to Blood On The Tracks on a loop at one point long ago and far away, I wasn't thinking "Man, Bob's been through some shit." I was thinking "Man, I wrote this album."

[mountain bed]

Other than Robby mentioning one song ("Fountain Of Sorrow") we're on page 4 here with no talk about Jackson Browne's "Late For The Sky"? WTF?

 

Side 1 of that LP is one of the most emotionally wrenching things I've ever listened to - the title track, Fountain, Farther On, The Late Show...all beautiful and filled with melancholy. "For A Dancer" on side 2 is a killer as well.

 

The words had all been spoken

And somehow the feeling still wasn't right

And still we continued on through the night

 

Tracing our steps from the beginning

Until they vanished into the air

Trying to understand how our lives had led us there

 

Looking hard into your eyes

There was nobody I'd ever known

Such an empty surprise

To feel so alone

 

Now for me some words come easy

But I know that they don't mean that much

Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch

 

You never knew what I loved in you

I don't know what you loved in me

Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be

 

Awake again, I can't pretend

I know I'm alone, and close to the end

Of the feeling we've known

 

How long have I been sleeping?

How long have I been drifting on through the night?

How long have I been dreaming I could make it right

If I close my eyes and try with all my might

To be the one you need

 

Awake again, I can't pretend

And I know I'm alone, and close to the end

Of the feeling we've known

 

How long have I been sleeping?

How long have I been drifting on throught the night?

How long have I been running for that morning flight

Through the whispered promises and the changing light

Of the bed where we both lie

Late for the sky

[Wild Frank]

Not sure if this is going to help. Its a song called 'House' by Marillion (later day Marillion!). Its about the silence of being alone in a house you used to share with your wife. Its pretty meloncholy stuff so be warned. Its a very strange song for Marillion with a trip-hop beat and some muted trumpet (not exactly 'Kayleigh'....although that's a break-up song too). Anyway....This is it:

 

This house aches

I whistle it's tune

After so much noise

Freedom is silence

Half the house is missing

Taken half of me with it

I had imagined this

Hurting in a different way

Hurting in a different way

 

I still have the hi-fi

Quiet at all volumes

As my dull thoughts

Echo viscous and slow like the tolling of some great bell under water

 

When she cries she cuts me

And when she smiles I wanna die

Afraid of knowing myself

Our eyes stare out while we hide inside

 

Looking at it, not seeing it

Looking at it, not seeing it

 

The open windows

Let in the spring air today

And the birds sing their thankfully happy, brainless song

But the silence here finds a way to stay

Some kind of explosion

God, if you hear me

Throw me a line or strike me down

Do you refuse even to accuse

C'mon, do your worst

But lift this curse

 

Built this house on solid ground

But now it's crumbling tumbling down

Will nobody here even cry out for help?

As it slowly collapses into itself

 

Looking at it, not seeing it

Looking at it, not seeing it

 

Hanging on to this pain

It's no good

It's no good

 

But we try again

 

We try again

[Terrapin Ben]

Thank so much everyone. I really appreciate all the recomendations and have found some new great music. I also just really appreciate this thread. I know its a bit of a downer, but it's allowed me to get some things off my chest without worrying what i am saying or who i am saying it to.

 

Music is a constant in my life. Probably the only constant. I am by no means trying to wallow in this music, even though that seems to me what i am doing more often than not. I am just trying to mix up my music library. The music isn't really helping anything and i cannot handle listening to lonesome tears off of sea change anymore. If i hear it that song one more time... i don't even know. The song that actually does seem to help is Tender. It is up beat and positive. I dig it. I have also been putting on old phish shows and wilco and stuff i normally listen to. I know the music isn't going to heal the wounds. I don't expect it to.

 

What i have been doing to get through this is hang out with friends. which is kind of weird bc i use to pretty much hang out with her on a day to day basis. but it's good and is helping me realize maybe having her as my best friend only close friend and a sig other was probably not the healthiest thing i could have done. I am riding my bike in the mountians when the weather permits, running almost every day, and just generally working out. I went hiking with a freind and his dog last weekend and sat in a duck blind on a very cold sunday morning in montana. i think it was like 18 degrees or something. talk about being alone with your thoughts. I read. I have been playing my guitar a ton. I sit on this and another mesage board way more than i normally do. I am trying not to drink to much. I am trying not to buy a pack of smokes. i am trying not to smoke my jrugz. I am just tyring to make healthy choices, surround myself with people who care about, and not think about her or what shes doing.

 

Thank you all so much for letting me rant. I appreciate it so much. You really have no idea. On a plus note, my future includes going to LA for the Phish fest, a Wilco show in my town on Feb 7, and plans to travel to Portalnd and Seattle to see Wilco and visit friends later that month. i am also employed in my field in a town i want to live in fresh out of college. Just trying to focus on all the good in my life. oh yeah, i just got the IATTBYH DVD in the mail yesterday! But it's kind of a sad DVD... but the music is so good.

 

I am sorry if none of that makes any sense. I am just kinda spewing anonymous thoughts on the interwebz and not really thinking too much about what i type. it's been kind of cathartic for me and it feels good just to let loose. thanks again to everyone who has posted in this thread or followed it or even read it. i appreciate all of you. thank you.

[Terrapin Ben]

also, i think Kind of Blue is more of a fall/winter/spring sunday morning album than anything. Just my .02

[Terrapin Ben]

today is a bad day.