benjamin Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 This one time at a strip joint a stripper got booed. Sigh.... the lonliest stripper. Link to post Share on other sites
JUDE Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 This one time at a strip joint a stripper got booed. Did she have the cooter funk? Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Did she have the cooter funk?There was something decidedly UNfunky about her dancing, and her body parts. I do not recall feeling bad for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ScottHoward Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 When I go to strip clubs, which since I quit drinking is almost never, or bachelor parties, I only buy dances for my associates from the bottom of the barrel. It's great to watch their face - half disgust, half pleasure, half confusion. "That's three halves." "She was a big lady." Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 "Get your hands off her" was something I heard a lot one night at a strip joint. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ScottHoward Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Me: "This has been a great weekend, I'm going to buy you a dance."Friend: "Dont do that."Me: "Why not?"Friend: "They have a no-touching policy here."Me: "So what?"Friend: "I cant abide by that."Me: "Seriously? You've got to be kidding. Look at how hot she is? You cant enjoy that without being a perv?Friend: "Maybe you're right, ok, thanks, I'll take it." 6 minutes later my friend was being dragged out of the club by 2 bouncers, yelling "I never agreed to that policy!" Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 one night at a strip joint in Canton, Ohio, a dancer 'winked' at me. ficky, do you want some stamps? Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 6 minutes later my friend was being dragged out of the club by 2 bouncers, yelling "I never agreed to that policy!"If I was the kind of guy to quote board members in my sig... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ScottHoward Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 If I was the kind of guy to quote board members in my sig..."I dont know what you're talking about, I listen to The Fruit Bats and I get laid all the time." Link to post Share on other sites
watch me fall Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Scott Howard sure has alot of stories about his "friends". Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 "I dont know what you're talking about, I listen to The Fruit Bats and I get laid all the time." Who said that? Classic. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Someone from my hometown who ended up a bouncer at a strip joint was in my car with me and my mom once and he kept saying "Dunkin Dog-Nuts! Dunkin Dog-Nuts!" after we passed by a DD. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ScottHoward Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Scott Howard sure has alot of stories about his "friends".I used to be a wild guy with crazy friends. That all ended two years ago Monday. Who said that? Classic.That was for ction. I said it to him. Link to post Share on other sites
fickerson Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 one night at a strip joint in Canton, Ohio, a dancer 'winked' at me. ficky, do you want some stamps? that depends, what do i have to do for them? Link to post Share on other sites
ction Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 That Fruit Bats line justifies the existance of AIM. Link to post Share on other sites
embiggen Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 This one time at a strip joint a stripper got booed. saggy titties? that's just sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 saggy titties? that's just sad.How did you know? Link to post Share on other sites
embiggen Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 How did you know? Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 that depends, what do i have to do for them? 'swinging ass'? the 'dancer' that was procured for my bachelor party was not from a strip service, but an escort service. my buddy Moose, who was both selling and doing massive amounts of drugs at the time, was in charge of this arrangement and said he was informed she'd be a 20-something aerobics instructor. when she arrived, she was most definitely not 20 or even 30 something and, while in shape, probably not an aerobic instructor either. when she walked in, the music stopped and all you could here was one of my buddies saying: 'dude, that's somebody's Mom'. well, it turns out she brought no music and couldn't dance to save her life either...I can only guess what she showed up prepared to do instead. i believe everything stopped when Jake paid her $20 to leave. police were also called to the scene when my buddy scooter, fresh off a special forces mission somehwere in the middle east, lit off a mortatr in the front yard, prompting neighbors to think there was shotgun fire. Link to post Share on other sites
bobbob1313 Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 When I go to strip clubs, which since I quit drinking is almost never, or bachelor parties, I only buy dances for my associates from the bottom of the barrel. It's great to watch their face - half disgust, half pleasure, half confusion. "That's three halves." "She was a big lady." I'm going to my first ever strip club on wednesday for the bachelor party. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 'swinging ass'? the 'dancer' that was procured for my bachelor party was not from a strip service, but an escort service. my buddy Moose, who was both selling and doing massive amounts of drugs at the time, was in charge of this arrangement and said he was informed she'd be a 20-something aerobics instructor. when she arrived, she was most definitely not 20 or even 30 something and, while in shape, probably not an aerobic instructor either. when she walked in, the music stopped and all you could here was one of my buddies saying: 'dude, that's somebody's Mom'. well, it turns out she brought no music and couldn't dance to save her life either...I can only guess what she showed up prepared to do instead. i believe everything stopped when Jake paid her $20 to leave. police were also called to the scene when my buddy scooter, fresh off a special forces mission somehwere in the middle east, lit off a mortatr in the front yard, prompting neighbors to think there was shotgun fire. Boy I bet you miss the single life. Link to post Share on other sites
bobbob1313 Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 Best thing in the history of things. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ScottHoward Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 (edited) I'm going to my first ever strip club on wednesday for the bachelor party.A few guidelines: A. Never buy the girls a drink. Ever.B. Pace yourself with both booze and dances.C. Dont go to plastic if you dont have to, all cash.D. Dont feel bad turning down dances - see point B.E. No matter how much they convince you otherwise, they are only after your money. They will not hook up with you (unless it's a really seedy place), they dont like you (in fact, they probably dislike you for deeply rooted psychological reasons) and when your money disappears - so will they. I feel like that guy who teaches Booger how to burp in Nerds II. Edited September 20, 2006 by ScottHoward Link to post Share on other sites
Atticus Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 I have a friend who picked up a stripper once in Dallas. After she finished her shift, she had him take her to a club where her friends supposedly were hanging out, but when they tried to enter, said stripper realized she did not have her id with her. So the two drove around awhile, then decided to go to the house of some friends of my friend--two lesbians who had lots of weed--to pick up a parcel that had been set aside for my friend. After that stop my friend and the stripper went back to my friend's place, and after some inhaling, my friend was told there would be nothing beyond a second-base line-drive to centerfield, hanky-panky-wise. the next morning, in a haze of sleep and idiocy, my friend and said stripper engaged in some "now you see it, now you don't" games, the conclusion of which prompted the stripper to confess to my friend that she was not under the influence of any baby-prohibiting medication. Nothing like well-honed timing. At which point, after some amount of panic and dry-heaving, my friend and said stripper drove to planned parenthood. After that visit, inspired by some first-rate guilt imparted by said stripper in relation to the icky feeling she was going to experience for the immediate future as a result of the medicine provided by PP, my friend plunked over a fair chunk of cash to said stripper to cover expenses as well as to compensate her for the shift she was going to miss that evening. After this experience, my friend and the stripper went on a single date, which ended in a very awkward attempt at making out. Thus concluded the relationship. This friend and I are really close, which is why I know the details so intimately. Link to post Share on other sites
bobbob1313 Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 In an act of defiance towards the constant closure of the stairwell right next to my room, I stole their cone. They can have it back once they go a full 2 weeks without closing my stairs. Link to post Share on other sites
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