Are you ready for the Apocalypse?

[Sweet Papa Crimbo]

this is some really funny shit.

And it is a real link to the CDC.

 

http://emergency.cdc.gov/cdc/orgs_progs.asp

 

 

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

 

A Brief History of Zombies

We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born.

 

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schoolman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living Dead and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent. The Zombie Survival Guide identifies the cause of zombies as a virus called solanum. Other zombie origins shown in films include radiation from a destroyed NASA Venus probe (as in Night of the Living Dead), as well as mutations of existing conditions such as prions, mad-cow disease, measles and rabies.

 

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

 

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

 

Better Safe than Sorry

 

Some of the supplies for your emergency kit.

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

•Water (1 gallon per person per day)

•Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)

•Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)

•Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)

•Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)

•Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)

•Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)

•First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

 

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

 

 

Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away.

1.Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information. Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away

2.Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.

3.Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.

4.Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

 

Never Fear – CDC is Ready

 

Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

 

To learn more about what CDC does to prepare for and respond to emergencies of all kinds, visit:

http://emergency.cdc.gov/cdc/orgs_progs.asp

 

To learn more about how you can prepare for and stay safe during an emergency visit:

http://emergency.cdc.gov/

 

To download a badge like the one above that you can add to your social networking profile, blog, website, or email signature visit:

http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies.asp

[anthony]

I thought this was gonna be about the May 21 ridiculous-nous

[Scott Gyrrr]

Does anybody know what time zone this apocalypse is based on? It's already the 21st here and although I haven't looked outside yet I can hear birds chirping.

[u2roolz]

Does anybody know what time zone this apocalypse is based on? It's already the 21st here and although I haven't looked outside yet I can hear birds chirping.

 

I wouldn't worry about it now. Macho Man Randy Savage sacrificed himself, so that he could elbow drop Jesus to prevent The Rapture tomorrow.

Proceed as you normally would.

[Oil Can Boyd]

Does anybody know what time zone this apocalypse is based on? It's already the 21st here and although I haven't looked outside yet I can hear birds chirping.

 

According to this story it is 6:00 PM in each time zone.

 

On May 21, "starting in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone, there will be a great earthquake, such as has never been in the history of the Earth," he says.

[anthony]

[Winston Legthigh]

So, this whole May 21, 2011 thing is based on some line from Genesis - God saying he was going to send a flood in seven days, combined with some other quote from the NT, how one day to God is like a thousand years to us. THEN trying to figure out what the date of Noah's flood was and adding 7,000 years to that, to arrive at May 21, 2011?

 

Huh.

[u2roolz]

So, this whole May 21, 2011 thing is based on some line from Genesis

[u2roolz]

I wouldn't worry about it now. Macho Man Randy Savage sacrificed himself, so that he could elbow drop Jesus to prevent The Rapture tomorrow.

Proceed as you normally would.

 

Enjoy! Thanks to social media.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Enjoy! Thanks to social media.

Too soon, man. Too soon.

[anthony]