All Songs Considered: About a Song: I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

[gogo]

http://www.npr.org/blogs/allsongs/2008/06/...ying_to_br.html

 

About a Song: I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

by Bob Boilen

 

Let's play a game.

 

We're going to give you a song -- probably one you've heard -- and you tell us what it means. It could be what it means to you, or it could be what you think the songwriter was trying to say. We'll start with one of the more curious ones we love: "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" by Wilco, written by Jeff Tweedy:

 

 

Here are the words:

 

I am an American aquarium drinker

I assassin down the avenue

I'm hiding out in the big city blinking

What was I thinking when I let go of you

 

Let's forget about the tongue-tied lightning

Let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers

This is not a joke so please stop smiling

What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt

 

I want to glide through those brown eyes dreaming

Take you from the inside, baby hold on tight

You were so right when you said I've been drinking

What was I thinking when we said good night

 

I want to hold you in the Bible-black predawn

You're quite a quiet, domino, bury me now

Take off your Band-Aid 'cause I don't believe in touchdowns

What was I thinking when we said hello

 

I always thought that if I held you tightly

You'd always love me like you did back then

Then I fell asleep in the city kept blinking

What was I thinking when I let you back in

 

I am trying to break your heart

I am trying to break your heart

But still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy

I am trying to break your heart

 

Disposable Dixie cup drinker

I assassin down the avenue

I've been hiding out in the big city blinking

What was I thinking when I let go of you

[newbornghost]

http://www.npr.org/blogs/allsongs/2008/06/...ying_to_br.html

 

to me it's all about the riskiness of a genuine relationship.

 

we're all liabilities to each other, but that doesn't it make it not worth the risk.

 

weakness makes us try even harder to seem invulnerable, which isn't going to help

 

it's just about all the stuff that makes us broken, yet still loving and lovable

 

(i absolutely cherish this song...and i can't stand the people who think it's just tweedy throwing words together trying to seem poetic/deep/sophisticated...if you really think about what the words he chooses mean, then you see the coherence in the emotions being expressed. 'she's a jar' is much the same way, imo.)

[W(TF)]

After all the times I've heard it...this line still throws me.

 

"..But still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy.."

 

 

Maybe I'm not that bright. But leave it to Tweedy to throw a conditional clause in the middle of a double negative! argh

[Mr. Kinsley]

(i absolutely cherish this song...and i can't stand the people who think it's just tweedy throwing words together trying to seem poetic/deep/sophisticated...if you really think about what the words he chooses mean, then you see the coherence in the emotions being expressed. 'she's a jar' is much the same way, imo.)

 

I agree, but I do think that while the words are carefully chosen there is a certain intentionally thrown together feel to it. Like he's trying to create a feeling through a rough juxtaposition of words and phrases, which ultimately makes it impossible to pin down and easier for each person to project their own interpretation onto it.

 

Nice first post, BTW. Welcome aboard!!

[newbornghost]

I agree, but I do think that while the words are carefully chosen there is a certain intentionally thrown together feel to it. Like he's trying to create a feeling through a rough juxtaposition of words and phrases, which ultimately makes it impossible to pin down and easier for each person to project their own interpretation onto it.

 

Nice first post, BTW. Welcome aboard!!

 

thanks. and good pt, too.

[mollyegan]

Pure poetry. I think that often the relationship that the reader/listener develops with the words is underestimated. As each person has a different experience, etc. he or she brings a different history to their own understanding...does that make sense? For example, I have a friend who writes poetry and always wants to read it to me and explain it to me. I appreciate that but I think that it makes for a more meaningful experience when the audience is left to draw their own conclusions and develop their own relationship with the words. Don't get me wrong, I'd love NOTHING more than to sit with Tweeds and have him perform an exegesis (Biblical implication deliberate!!) on any of his lyrics, but the vestiges of such a song are what really make an indelible mark for me.

[mfwahl]

(i absolutely cherish this song...and i can't stand the people who think it's just tweedy throwing words together trying to seem poetic/deep/sophisticated...if you really think about what the words he chooses mean, then you see the coherence in the emotions being expressed. 'she's a jar' is much the same way, imo.)

I like that. but she's a jar (one of my favorites) doesn't touch the lyrical poetic quality of it. She's a jar has really great lyrics but IATTBYH is like modern poetry set to a good melody

[caliber66]

After all the times I've heard it...this line still throws me.

 

"..But still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy.."

 

 

Maybe I'm not that bright. But leave it to Tweedy to throw a conditional clause in the middle of a double negative! argh

What's double about that negative?

[Mr. Kinsley]

I wonder what percentage of the comments on that page are from VC?

[Lynch]

I agree, but I do think that while the words are carefully chosen there is a certain intentionally thrown together feel to it. Like he's trying to create a feeling through a rough juxtaposition of words and phrases, which ultimately makes it impossible to pin down and easier for each person to project their own interpretation onto it.

That is a great point. Never really thought about this song in that way until now. A few lines always got me, but as for the song as a whole, this one was more about the melody and the instrumentation than the lyrics for me.

[newbornghost]

Pure poetry. I think that often the relationship that the reader/listener develops with the words is underestimated. As each person has a different experience, etc. he or she brings a different history to their own understanding...does that make sense? For example, I have a friend who writes poetry and always wants to read it to me and explain it to me. I appreciate that but I think that it makes for a more meaningful experience when the audience is left to draw their own conclusions and develop their own relationship with the words. Don't get me wrong, I'd love NOTHING more than to sit with Tweeds and have him perform an exegesis (Biblical implication deliberate!!) on any of his lyrics, but the vestiges of such a song are what really make an indelible mark for me.

 

Yes. I think Tweedy has made this point in many interviews. He isn't like your friend, in that he fully expects people to come away with different experiences/takeaways from his lyrics. In fact, I've heard Tweedy relate this concept not just to his poetry, but to the music itself, even going so far as to say that no one can own a Wilco song, because it's a different experience for every listener. He uses this to explain why he's never understood those concerned with music sharing on the internet. To him, music shouldn't be viewed as something bought and sold, while admitting it's necessary only in so far as musicians need to eat.

 

That said, it's always worth speculating on an author's original intent, because the emotions that Tweedy had when writing this were distinct and genuine.

[caliber66]

That said, it's always worth speculating on an author's original intent, because the emotions that Tweedy had when writing this were distinct and genuine.

How do you know that?

[Guest Speed Racer]

I agree with the idea that the juxtaposition of words creates images and emotions separate from the meanings of the words. I find it fitting that he cribs so much Henry Miller in this song, precisely because Miller used a lot of those phrases, in their original incarnations, as words strung together to create images.

 

That being said, this song has always seemed to me to be a very guarded presentation of someone's feelings. The instrumentation and the lyrics indicate a lot of hurt and a lot of love, but the lyrics that actually convey those emotions are removed enough from standard use of language that it's like a Rube Goldberg feelings-machine. The speaker is taking the long way to say, "I'm hurt, I'm scared, I love you," because to say it outright would make him too vulnerable.

[newbornghost]

How do you know that?

 

touche ... maybe i don't know.

 

but...i guess i feel like i owe it to any artist to start with the assumption that what they create comes from somplace genuine. why listen if you don't believe that? it's a matter of faith on the part of any listener, right?

[Golden Smoghead]

I am not sure that all these little images actually are put together with a ton of meaning, a few strike me as being borderline-nonsense, but I love these two:

 

"i want to hold you in the bible-black predawn" -- pretty cool image, though predawn is usually not actually black, right? Isn't the predawn / pre-dawn sort of defined by the return of light to the sky? Anyway I love the idea of something being bible-black, and separately adore the image of holding someone in that depth of the night when it seems like day will never come. It strikes me that I'm currently slightly-younger than the age Tweedy was when he wrote that line (I'm guessing he was roughly 32, I'm 29), but I feel like the guy who writes this line is more innocent and youthful than I am.

 

"assassin down the avenue" -- you folks may think this is sacrilege, but every time I hear this line, it reminds me of the pimp walk I inevitably try to do when I listen to the Bee Gees' song "stayin' alive." I don't know for sure, but I like to think that assassining down the avenue means you are walking in such a way that you kill 'em with it. That you bring the HEAT and make women fall down pregnant just by being on the same block as you.

[Calexico]

I have no idea what the song is about but sometimes I think the following line is awesome and sometimes I think it just sounded good and he stuck it in there.

 

 

Take off your Band-Aid 'cause I don't believe in touchdowns

[theashtraysays]

Yes. I think Tweedy has made this point in many interviews. He isn't like your friend, in that he fully expects people to come away with different experiences/takeaways from his lyrics. In fact, I've heard Tweedy relate this concept not just to his poetry, but to the music itself, even going so far as to say that no one can own a Wilco song, because it's a different experience for every listener.

Half of it's you, and half is me.

[newbornghost]

Half of it's you, and half is me.

 

right on.

 

and: "just remember what was yours, is everyone's, from now on."

[caliber66]

Exactly.

 

Don't forget, though: "Spiders are filling out tax returns."

[fragrantviolator]

I love this song. I've always thought it was a pretty straightforward story - Guy drunk out on the town, runs into his ex, for whom he still has a lot of feelings, but also some resentment, hooks up with her, and decides either before or during the encounter that he's just doing it to get back at her, to break her heart.

 

The individual lines are probably more open to interpretation and attachment of personal experience, i.e., "I assassin down the avenue" seems to me to be that feeling of "man, I'm pretty cool" that comes after a few drinks, with the use of assassin as a verb maybe showing the narrator's drunken state.

 

The last verse seems to me to be the narrator's anger at himself, reflecting a few days later, at having taken the vindictive root when he had the chance to get back together with the girl. He characterizes the girl as the "disposable dixie cup" but is more anger at himself for being the disposable dixie cup drinker.

[sweetheart-mine]

After all the times I've heard it...this line still throws me.

 

"..But still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy.."

yah, it throws me too. i like it but/and always have to think it out for a minute.

usually i don't feel stupid (at least not all day!), but a similar thing happens with this

from You Are My Face: "when we're not sure we're not alone."

[mfwahl]

yah, it throws me too. i like it but/and always have to think it out for a minute.

usually i don't feel stupid (at least not all day!), but a similar thing happens with this

from You Are My Face: "when we're not sure we're not alone."

I think a piece of brain matter just came out of my nose.

[newbornghost]

Exactly.

 

Don't forget, though: "Spiders are filling out tax returns."

 

yes. thank you.

[sweetheart-mine]

I think a piece of brain matter just came out of my nose.

oh that's lovely.