IMing -- I don't get it

[barbkm]

I know that I have not exactly embraced technology -- my life is not interesting enough to Twitter or provide hourly updates on Facebook ("going to the gym," "eating cookies," "going back to the gym."). Obviously, there some facets of this online universe that we are all slowly getting addicted to that I embrace (otherwise, I would not be here, right?) but the one thing that troubles me is Instant messaging. Not chatting with friends at home late at night, but in the office. I just don't think many of my co-workers get it. Or, they've just been so seduced by the wonders of technology that they succumb to it and reject all other forms of communication because IMing is so advanced.

 

Here's my problem ... this is the message I often get at the office.... "Are you there?" What the fuck!?!?!? If I'm not there, how can I answer you? If you have a question, why not just pick up the phone or walk over to mt desk and ask. There's this thing called voice mail -- or, if you are very traditional, pen and paper. You can ask your questions and then I can respond with an answer. The IM "Are you there" can linger for hours if I'm in meetings or just don't feel like responding.

 

Or there's this one, "Can you talk?" Pick up the fucking phone and find out.

 

I think what annoys me is the urgency of an Instant message. There it is -- flashing it's importance to me, like your question is more critical than what I'm doing at that moment. And you can't ignore it, whether you are online, in a Word doc, or reviewing a PoerePoint, there it is -- flashing flashing flashing. And when you give in to that beacon of distraction, you get..."Are you there?"

 

"No."

 

Comments, suggestions

[alison the wilca]

i use IM in the office but i never ask anyone if they are there. usually i just ask my question and, if it is urgent, i don't use IM.

 

What I HATE about office IMing is when people send me an IM that says "call me"... what?!

[Nobody Girl]

I always loved it when people who were sitting right next to me messaged me. That would be OK if they were writing something that couldn't be said out loud, but that was rarely the case.

[Good Old Neon]

I always like it when someone sends me an email, and then immediately walks over to my desk to ask if I got and/or read the email, right before they recite the contents of the email.

 

I also enjoy sitting next to a guy who uses “with regards to that”, “certainly” and “per se” in every fucking sentence that comes out of his mouth - constantly. As a result of this, on more than one occasion, I have awakened from a daydream to find myself browsing Smith & Wesson’s website - completely unawares, with a credit card in my hand, and a smile on my face.

[slice_oftheday]

I always like it when someone sends me an email, and then immediately walks over to my desk to ask if I got and/or read the email, right before they recite the contents of the email.

 

I also enjoy sitting next to a guy who uses “with regards to that”, “certainly” and “per se” in every fucking sentence that comes out of his mouth - constantly. As a result of this, on more than one occasion, I have awakened from a daydream to find myself browsing Smith & Wesson’s website - completely unawares, with a credit card in my hand, and a smile on my face.

 

Man I hear you on that, a kid at my high school always says stuff like that, including the word "whilst." Who says "whilst," honestly. Shit is like archaic.

[bjorn_skurj]

A surprising percentage of my love life since late 2006 has taken place via Gmail chat.

[sureshot]

I work for an internet marketing firm, so everything here is very tech-savvy and we're required to use the internal IM system whenever we're at our computers. Its such a different culture than my old job when that sort of thing would possibly get you in trouble. Everyone here brings their laptops into meetings and shit...Im kind of indifferent to the whole thing. The IMs are actually nice in that they seem to cut down on the number of massive email strings.

 

I always loved it when people who were sitting right next to me messaged me. That would be OK if they were writing something that couldn't be said out loud, but that was rarely the case.

 

At my prior job there was this one old school guy whose primary job as far as I could tell was to annoy the living shit out of those around him and collect a big paycheck. Funny in small doses, but most certainly a headache when sitting across from you. Anyway, he had a habit of calling co-workers on the phone to discuss orders and whatnot...who sat a couple desks over or were in a adjacent offices. You could literally hear both sides of the conversation b/c they were so close. I found it hilarious and utterly pathetic at the same time.

[augurus]

Perhaps your friends and or co-workers should learn to use status messages to tell people they're not available.

 

I prefer instant messaging over the phone. I prefer to write and read. I don't like listening to a speaker nor putting some object on my shoulder on my ear and wait as someone else or elevator music dully bludgeon me.

[Basil II]

A surprising percentage of my love life since late 2006 has taken place via Gmail chat.

 

 

Dude......you need to go to a bar and order a 24 oz. "Hop Czar" Bridgeport IPA.....that will get you love.......a lil' blurry perhaps....

 

-robert

[u2roolz]

You got to love the idea that we actually have a portable communication tool that you can call somebody on and talk to them and/or text message someone. Most people choose to text instead and they do it while they fucking drive. Why is that? Is that because most people have a hard time to know when to end a conversation and are thereby ashamed to call someone? What about all those people who would laugh in school when our teachers told us that people "back in the day" used to send each other letters: lovers, brothers, soldiers, Publisher's Clearing House? How could we change our collective minds so sneakily into choosing to send someone a letter (text), as above, and not talk to someone? It's like pretzel based logic. "Well, it's kind of new school tech savvy meets old school sentiments."

 

Is it our ever increasing narcissism that is being made worse via social networking sites? Who in their right mind would send a text while driving 65mph on a busy highway? A narcissist? An idiot? I agree that most of us can multitask, but I don't want Mr. & Mrs. Newborn Parents losing their life on the road because Jersey Shore Joey wants to sext his girlfriend who he will be meeting in 20 fucking minutes.

 

All that we tend to see on Facebook is people's private business/matters aired out for everyone to see including their friends. I now know when "old high school friend C's" 1st child has been sick, went to their 1st day of school, got into a fight with their 2nd cousin, & that they took them to the local Chuck E. Cheese. Is it fair to say that these same types of people would be severely angry if their children were put into harm's way through a boogie man that has been following their every move with their own set of eyes?

 

Is it all just trying to make a human connection and feel less than insignificant in this huge universe in what little time that we have here? What happened to good old conversations face to face? Will we eventually evolve into mutes down the road who will only communicate through these man made forms of communication? Maybe we can take easy street and blame our parents for telling us "never talk to strangers." ?

 

(leads you to camera C)

Well, I only drive & text when I'm at a red light. Once that light turns green I stop texting. I'll also text someone with a small message like "Hey, Twilight sucked." I'll try my best to make plans with my phone, but sometimes people text me back when I leave a voicemail.

 

I have a degree in Communication Media (Film) and l loved my Human Communication course. It was like Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm in a classroom. Is Human Comm offered for almost every degree? I know that I never was offered it when I got my Associate's in Business. It's amazing how well it puts stuff like this into perspective. It's a lot of abstract stuff.

 

I also IMed when I was interning at AVID Technology. It was very helpful and made it safe to not put anyone on hold for too long to go ask someone a question. It also obviously helped for immediate feedback from people in real time situations.

 

I'll end with a somewhat cute but somewhat disturbing story that I read in my local paper's Sunday magazine. Anyways, this parent wrote an article about how his 10 year old boy was asked out through IM from 4 10 year old girls for one specific girl not in the room. Then it went on to say that he typed "gtg" and thought about going out with this girl. He eventually logged back on and said "yes." Then he asked the girls "where he should take her?" They dimly replied "what?" So the boy decided to eat with her at his lunch table. He ended up sitting with his boys and they discussed football and he forgot that she was sitting there though at the other end of the table. It turns out that this boy's parents consider this girl their son's girlfriend. Although, they haven't spoken to each other once?! WTF Is this boy doomed to love via Google Chat. ( I have a 30 year old friend who did something like that while at work) Alright, I'm sick of writing questions here, but doesn't this seem so wrong and pushing communication back in all the wrong ways? I know that shyness is tough when you're a kid and hormones kick in, but doesn't this kind of teach kids that there's 0 work to put in to actually date someone through this way? It seems to promote that the idea of a girl/boyfriend is more important than actually being in a relationship.

 

Thanks for reading...

[SarahC]

I routinely make an ass of myself in IM's (gmail chat, facebook chat, all of em)- and phone calls make me nervous. perhaps i should draw my thoughts in the dirt with a stick?

 

texting while driving is so dumb! i hardly even will talk on the phone in a car that i am not driving. i don't see how people can do it.

[ih8music]

I find IM in work situations to be a wonderful tool. It's more immediate than email, but not nearly as intrusive as a phone call or a face-to-face conversation. I don't have to stop what I'm doing to respond to your IM - I can do other work while keeping the window in the background, only re-engaging in the conversation when it's a convenient time (but usually within a minute or so). I can also carry multiple conversations at the same time. Try doing any of that with a phone call or face-to-face chat.

 

Granted, I'm a professional geek (software developer/consultant) - so it's pretty much the only way we know how to communicate - but I think this translates to most "desk jobs." Sounds like part of the problem is that you feel compelled to respond immediately, which is rarely really necessary (for me, at least). Take a breather, finish what you were doing, and then respond. You'll probably enjoy being "in control" of the conversation much better.

[ih8music]

I also love using IM during conference calls. you can bitch about your boss/coworkers in cognito with your (trusted) friends in real time!!

[Griddles]

 

 

I'll end with a somewhat cute but somewhat disturbing story that I read in my local paper's Sunday magazine. Anyways, this parent wrote an article about how his 10 year old boy was asked out through IM from 4 10 year old girls for one specific girl not in the room. Then it went on to say that he typed "gtg" and thought about going out with this girl. He eventually logged back on and said "yes." Then he asked the girls "where he should take her?" They dimly replied "what?" So the boy decided to eat with her at his lunch table. He ended up sitting with his boys and they discussed football and he forgot that she was sitting there though at the other end of the table. It turns out that this boy's parents consider this girl their son's girlfriend. Although, they haven't spoken to each other once?! WTF Is this boy doomed to love via Google Chat. ( I have a 30 year old friend who did something like that while at work) Alright, I'm sick of writing questions here, but doesn't this seem so wrong and pushing communication back in all the wrong ways? I know that shyness is tough when you're a kid and hormones kick in, but doesn't this kind of teach kids that there's 0 work to put in to actually date someone through this way? It seems to promote that the idea of a girl/boyfriend is more important than actually being in a relationship.

 

Thanks for reading...

“When simplicity of character and the sovereignty of ideas is broken up by the prevalence of secondary desires, the desire of riches, the desire of pleasure, the desire of power, the desire of praise, - and duplicity and falsehood take place of simplicity and truth, the power over nature as an interpreter of the will, is in a degree lost; new imagery ceases to be created, and old words are perverted to stand for things which are not; a paper currency is employed when there is no bullion in the vaults.” Ralph Waldo Emerson "Self Reliance" 1830!

My god I am only 21 and abhor being reachable 24 hours a day. I cannot imagine my grandparents or parents minds when receiving hourly updates from people. thank goodness none of them have facebook, or other crap. I hate texting and taking on the phone. can't we just speak face to face about important things?

I do use technology to a high degree, to talk to people a half a world away, but not in the same office or house, or when I could reach the same person in a reasonable time frame. Sometime I feel that technology has taken the human element out of communication. And that is not a good thing.

[Good Old Neon]

If caught, texting while driving should result in the immediate suspension of the texters license for six or more months, and an equally long refresher course on how not to be a total fucking asshole/moron while driving, and elsewhere.

[Guest Speed Racer]

You could literally hear both sides of the conversation b/c they were so close. I found it hilarious and utterly pathetic at the same time.

 

I work in a tiny office with two shouters who intercom each other on speakerphone, though they sit about 15 feet apart. If they're not using the intercom, they actually are shouting at each other.

 

I also love using IM during conference calls. you can bitch about your boss/coworkers in cognito with your (trusted) friends in real time!!

 

My boss puts difficult clients on mute when we're on conference calls and chews them out, unmuting to respond to their questions. Over the course of several decades, she has apparently had a few accidents, but she keeps this practice up undeterred.

[Winston Legthigh]

I also love using IM during conference calls. you can bitch about your boss/coworkers in cognito with your (trusted) friends in real time!!

You better make sure your IMs aren't logged...

[sureshot]

My boss puts difficult clients on mute when we're on conference calls and chews them out, unmuting to respond to their questions. Over the course of several decades, she has apparently had a few accidents, but she keeps this practice up undeterred.

 

The mute button always makes me paranoid...you can never be TOO sure. I know some people who have had some awkward moments due to that.

[Guest Speed Racer]

The mute button always makes me paranoid...you can never be TOO sure. I know some people who have had some awkward moments due to that.

 

I would never, EVER use it myself - EVER - but I sure get a kick out of it when she does.

 

My co-worker and I keep a tally at our desks of the inappropriate things another co-worker says on the phone all day. To his equals he is a total Dwight character, but to clients he's a total Michael Scott: "How was your New Year's? Yeah, good, good. Yeah, no, I totally don't remember mine, HAHAHAHAHAHA, I had a half a bottle of Scotch, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[watch me fall]

We aren't even allowed to put any IM software on our computers.

[Edie]

You better make sure your IMs aren't logged...

 

This -- mine are. Though I like IMing as it reduces email strings. I use it during client calls and as a remote conversation tool for multiple users (we use Office Communicator). The OP is correct that it can be annoying, but I do prefer it to picking up the phone and leaving a message. I hate voicemail (leaving and receiving).

[Guest Speed Racer]

IM seems kind of redundant to me, on account of email's ability to do the same thing. If I have a quick question for someone, I'll email them (with the subject being something like "Quick question if you're at your desk" and somewhere in the body saying, "but disregard if you aren't". Or, I prairie-dog it and peek over my cubicle wall to see who is at their desk, and just walk over.

 

I HATE when people use the intercom function and ask more than once if someone is there: "John? JOHN? JOHN? HELLO?"

[augurus]

IM seems kind of redundant to me, on account of email's ability to do the same thing. If I have a quick question for someone, I'll email them (with the subject being something like "Quick question if you're at your desk" and somewhere in the body saying, "but disregard if you aren't". Or, I prairie-dog it and peek over my cubicle wall to see who is at their desk, and just walk over.

 

I HATE when people use the intercom function and ask more than once if someone is there: "John? JOHN? JOHN? HELLO?"

E-mail specializes in long distance concise constructed messages.

IMs also do that, but they do not have the assurance factor; instead, IMs have a high convenience factor. IMs allow long conversations written in real-time, unlike e-mails.

 

IMs and e-mails are two different monsters. IM is to phone as e-mail is to letter.

 

And on that note, I think Google Wave (its communication form) will supercede E-mail.

[Guest Speed Racer]

E-mail specializes in long distance concise constructed messages.

IMs also do that, but they do not have the assurance factor; instead, IMs have a high convenience factor. IMs allow long conversations written in real-time, unlike e-mails.

 

IMs and e-mails are two different monsters. IM is to phone as e-mail is to letter.

 

Oh, I disagree. I cannot imagine IMing with my co-workers, simply because so much can be misconstrued - unlike in phone conversations. In an email, I can state my whole question and, if the recipient is at his or her desk, receive an instantaneous reply. If I want to have a two-way conversation, not simply seek an answer to my question, there is absolutely I would consider IM an appropriate (or convenient) avenue for that. I would spend probaby 5 minutes having a 2-minute conversation, 3 minutes of which were confirming that the "yes" was referring to Question A, and the "that" in "That needs to be done by Friday" was referring to Item C. Instead, I can spend 10 seconds walking to my coworker and two minutes conversing, for a net loss of 2:20.

[ih8music]

My boss puts difficult clients on mute when we're on conference calls and chews them out, unmuting to respond to their questions. Over the course of several decades, she has apparently had a few accidents, but she keeps this practice up undeterred.

Yes, loads of fun! Another game that I enjoy... but def. much riskier.

 

You better make sure your IMs aren't logged...

encrypted chat FTW! Learned that lesson a few yrs ago while on a "difficult" project with a "difficult" client who we learned was snooping in on our IM conversations.