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Mr Jeff Tweedy - does United Kinkdom tour coincide?


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Mr Jeff Tweedy, all tour news is brewing. In early part of summer I will be in United Kinkdom to attend bi-annual conference of International Arctic Hunter and Fisherman Society in mighty village of London. This is fierce new environmental experience for me - all in surroundings of Mr Big Benny, the Cock-Knees with "Crash bang wallop what picture!" ritual, and jolly Copper making the beat in jovial style all creaky boot and polished helmet. I look forward much! At this conference I make special presentation on my secrets of icehole technique! (I send pics if you enjoy! Please PM for pics). So, I will have skidoo and be full equipped to be on trail of the Wilco tour if it is happening at this time. Is there coincide? If so, please tell driver of Wilco bus to make careful drive on road as skidoo is not so high speedy, and rear light has problem since I have accident with reindeer when in rutting frenzy last fall (this was caused by mistake of identity on my part I must make admittance to you, as I was in most fierce rutting frenzy from time when Lotti was in bad mood with me and was making withhold of marrital duties, plus special friend Olsen's wife was away on holiday, but I will speak no more of it). Have assurance that if I see tour bus first I will make the full horn to you as warning. Mr Jeff Tweedy, would you like to visit very special queen in this country during stay? Professor from Stockholm tell me he can arrange it! Lotti much prefer the sweet Laddie Di in designer gown with all shy dipped head style, but for my view queen is superior with wisdom and poise of the great old walrus for sure! I also have wonder if you plan visit to the Jockland. I have research to make in Glasgow, as made famous in Abba song of Super Trooper - of course you have the familiarity. These Jocks have some outdoor parties with the tossing of the big wood and men all going in commando style with the stripey tart skirt and patting of the buttocks to the passing foreign intruder. Professor from Stockholm ask me to make pics. My research indicate that you have the Jock hairytage Mr Jeff Tweedy. I still look for the proof of this. Do you have the special family tart with sporran dangle and the woad pot?

 

Mr Jeff Tweedy, even though I try to make holiday in your tour at this time, I am not the stalk man to jump out on you like the wily arctic fox on the poor little rabbit making innocent heather nibble. There is no need for you to be having your tender things on hooks at all times. You can pleasure me if I see you in street only - without any disturbance from my part. If you wish for warning you can make the sniff - if you detect the herring air, then I am in vicinity! Believe! But first Mr Jeff Tweedy, make sure that you have not had nocturnal seepage from previous sleep when making the subconscious reenactment of private living room show with Lady Agnetha and Lady Frida. I know this problem well! Such an accident can make confusion with herring aroma if you have no luxury of the fresh wire-fronts each day (I do not know if Mr Tony Margaritatime manage fresh wire-front provision to all the Wilco boys each day - this would be good entry for the rider list of presents, no?). At suggestion of Professor from Stockholm I can recommend the PVC sheets - you can make all fresh in swift wipe clean style in morning. Often my wife Lotti say to me: "Oh Lars, these PVC sheets make me sweat like the very pig!". And I say "Lotti, you say the most sweet things to make me love you even more!" and we spend next half hour tumbling in rubber all squeek squeek and elbow burns! This is second bonus benefit of the PVC for sure!

 

Mr Jeff Tweedy, can I make PM to Mr Tony Margaritatime about back passage access at concert? It is possible? What is policy of Wilco for sparkly costume in audience at the Wilco show? Will it make too much distration for you and cause the unexpected notes of the bum? Maybe I should make the tone down of personal style and just have lemon flares without shiny cape and accessories? I wait for advice from management team on this issue of import.

 

I have double excitement at this time of new albums, not only for the Wilco. All is wild at Arctic Monkeys site of web. There is full lashing back in effect from all sides at dawn of second album difficulty for Sheffield boys. There is much of the dirty mouth there and I spend much time making the sooth for all. Being Admin at such place is fierce toil and needs the thick skin and the back of a duck for the easy water pour, but as we say in Sweden : "If you want to make a bone break in me then it is recommended to use a stick or a stone, because the words alone have no dead tree mental effect". It is such peace and relax contrast to have a durable member registered at this happy place! It is the very virtual Swedish internet-sauna for the unwind! Are you all in this mood and in stark bollock style repose like me when connecting with top of lap? Thanks to all for participate in this style! I have many invites to stay in Sheffield when in United Kinkdom. This is all as way of thanks for special packages sent and pine philosophy teachings! It will be true dream to visit the land of the "Kes" and make the northern speech all "stupid bugger" and "dirty slag" when flying the little hawks with new friends. This is unity power of the music as power for good of all as the Abba first demonstrate! If I have the possibility I will also make trip to the Liverpuddle for the Beatless pillgrimace route. Mr Benny was big fan of Mr Paul MyShoppingCartKnee at time of Hepstars formation, so it is proper thing to do for me for continue full Abba research. Also, beloved Mr Stig make some study of technique of the Mr Boy George Martini. But what shame for Beatless that they never make greatest breakthrough. Poor Mr Boy George Martini was never making the Abyss Road all internal pine palace! Beatless sound is ruined by this oversight! Mr JohnKnee Leanon had desire and even make song of Norwegian Wood as plea to make this change, but Mr Boy George Martini was all in stingy mood of the Jock and not spend cash! Why Mr JohnKnee Leanon make mistake of request for Norwegian wood I do not know. Yes my friends, it is good, but not as good as the Swedish pine for sure. Believe! Norway people are close brothers for Swedes, but they are too much under the Danish influence! They loose touch with true wood instinct and power of pine inspiration. Mr Jeff Tweedy, my research show that you often make Abyss Road centre for the mastering of Wilco music. Please request the pine switch to match Loft environment! For good of future of the Wilco and as homage to the beloved Mr Stig! It is in your power! Remember in Kongsberg visit to tell all those who come to you with wood in hand "No my friends, I appreciate your thought and idea of special package gift, but I am only of the pure Swedish way in these things!". Norway wood can be for useful practise of the whittle technique, but it is not for the permanent momento with theraputic value. Do not waste strict airline baggage allowance with this inferiority! That is my advice Mr Jeff Tweedy.

 

Mr Jeff Tweedy it is time for me to take away my log from this happy place today - I wish you all best until maybe we can meet and have chance to make the "stick it in family, stick it in family, stick it in family album" chant in London central parts while minding the gap and vandalising the special red phone box in full Sheffield style! Welfare!

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I find myself pining for adventures in the somewhat-specific 'Swedish style". :lol Best of luck to you, Mr. Baab, in meeting with my Mid-Western breathren Mr. Jeff. :cheers

 

I will drink this Bass Ale in your honor. :thumbup

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You might be lucky Baab! According to Wilcoworld.net Wilco's playing Somerset, England May 15 for the ATP festival which they just got voted into. More dates to come?

Mr Kalle, I happy to speak! Yes my friend, there is happy mishap for me. There is always joyful destiny outcome for those who put faith in the power of the Abba and pine philosophy. Believe! United Kinkdom journey will be like fierce adventure of Odysseus, but with skidoo and more schnapps, and maybe not the frilly skirt with the bronze leg greaves. I have fear of chaffing outbreak on delicate Swedish meatballs when on skidoo saddle for so long (though this could be fashionable look for the Jockland, no? Maybe I bring supply of the blubber fat to sooth this problem with the slime lube if customs man allow import). I do research on site www.tasteofashphaltaroundworld.se and learn that the Somerset is home of the fiery scrump drink from the apple crush. I must taste for the full experience on trip for sure. Mr Jeff Tweedy will not have this experience after too much dislike for taste of the asphalt. This is small shame, but I can understand this way, for in thruth my friends, when in roadside in morning it is rare to have the happy dawn after a night of the schnapps beverage indulgence. The asphalt tongue is nasty nasty! Only when receiving awakening from all over facial lick from favourite husky as way of revival is there pleasant start to day. But too often husky see chance to repay owner for too much time in winter doghouse with chain on neck and make the leg cock when owner is in state of no defense! This is why I give much preference to the hygenic reindeer my friends. Also, they do not have jealousy problem if you like to make the mess around with other partners. That is the Swedish way!

 

My friends, I have the full puzzle why Mr Jeff Tweedy want to make the Somerset pilgrimage. I have bad head full of ponder for long time. Then I make research breakthrough! I present proof to you! It is well known how Mr Benny in early days of Hepstars make model of that sound on Hairman's Hairmits and such of the English pop combo. At same time Mr Bjorn was more of folky rustic sound with Hootenanny Singers, all straw in hair and fast running fingers along organ being pumped in hand. And what English music make influence for Mr Bjorn at this time? - it is cult first stirrings of Wurzels Somerset boys ciderdelic sound! All grow in fame together until they both have number one chart smash of United Kinkdom in hot summer of 76. Tha Abba have the Fernando, and the Wurzel boys have similar song of country heartbreak with song of "Combine Harvester". This is heavy mystical coincide! It is well known that Mr Jeff Tweedy and the Lady Wilco has Hairman's Hairmits fascination. I present my favourite song from this band. Of course, my friends, you can see why. It is the plaintive homage to the busty substances and the milk! And Professor from Stockholm like very early cultural reference to gay queen also.

 

No milk today, my love has gone away

The bottle stands forlorn, a symbol of the dawn

No milk today, it seems a common sight

But people passing by don't know the reason why

 

How could they know just what this message means

The end of my hopes, the end of all my dreams

How could they know the palace there had been

Behind the door where my love reigned as queen

 

No milk today, it wasn't always so

The company was gay, we'd turn night into day

 

But all that's left is a place dark and lonely

A terraced house in a mean street back of town

Becomes a shrine when I think of you only

Just two up two down

 

Last line is most pleasant subtle image of busty substances released from bra prison incumberance to make the natural way. Let us make contemplate on this image for some moments my friends as little time of peace in busy day.

 

And breath out my friends, for now we are back on research trail in full force! So, all is clear in links with the Abba so far, no? But where is link between Mr Jeff Tweedy and Wurzel boys I hear you make shout (apart from having the uncontrolled hair in style of backwards pull out through the hedge, or the very haystack of the spikey). Mr Jeff Tweedy make the game with us in spymaster George Smiley style all steely soul and tinkering with the tailor and soldier. He does not make easy journey of musical discovery for us! Only with the dedicated ear and the sturdy stomping boots can we follow his lead! Just as in way of the Abba! My friends, research tell me that song of Melanie "Brand new key" is many times played at end of the Wilco concert. Here is Mr Jeff Tweedy making the toy with us! This is tune Wurzel boys use for smash hit! He give clue to further rich musical discovery!

 

COMBINE HARVESTER (BRAND NEW KEY)

 

I drove my tractor through your haystack last night

(ooh aah ooh aah)

I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet

(ooh aah ooh aah)

Now something's telling me

That you'm avoiding me

Come on now darling you've got something I need

 

Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

Come on now let's get together

In perfect harmony

I got twenty acres

An' you got forty-three

Now I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

 

She made I laugh ha ha

 

I'll stick by you, I'll give you all that you need

We'll 'ave twins and triplets

I'm a man built for speed

And you know I'll love you darlin'

So give me your hand

But what I want the most

Is all they acres of land

 

Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

Come on now let's get together

In perfect harmony

I got twenty acres

An' you got forty-three

Now I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

 

Ooaah she's a lovely bit of stuff an' all

 

For seven long years I've been alone in this place

Eat, sleep, in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace

Now if I cleaned it up would you change your mind

I'll give up drinking scrumpy and that lager and lime

 

Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

Come on now let's get together

In perfect harmony

I got twenty acres

An' you got forty-three

Now I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

 

Who loves ya baby ha

 

Weren't we a grand couple at that last wurzel dance

I wore brand new gaters and me cordouroy pants

In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smelling grand

We had our photos took and us holding hands

 

Now I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

Now that we'me both past our fifties I think that you and me

Should stop this galavanting and will you marry me

Coz I got a brand new combine harvester

An' I'll give you the key

 

Aahh yu're a fine looking woman and I can't wait to get me 'ands on your land

 

Oh my friends, I am so happy to share the unlocked puzzle with you! This is happy research stint for sure and all is made while the worth! And it is also such sweet song of the lovey dovey for all those who have the romance at this time with the $5 card from corner shop with big red heart. Maybe this is second only to the song of Ernie the Milkman from the Mr Benny Hill as lonesome sonnet of everlasting love - from the grave and with full milk background to add to interest.

 

It is time to make pics!

 

The-Wurzels-Greatest-Hits-301654.jpg

 

Here is Murzel boys in prime! And to this day they make the shows - I make little cry that this is not the same for the Abba my friends.

 

Wurzels09.jpg

 

Lotti make me present this pic of modern day Wurzel in live frenzy. She like this figure with the belly pot for the loving handles very much. She has worry that Mr Jeff Tweedy is the anoraks hick boy now, but I tell her "Lotti, Mr Jeff Tweedy take up the recreational forestry as I suggest in PM. We all know benefit of working all day with wood in hand". And Lotti say to me "Yes Lars, all we Swedes know this well, and I am so lucky that you retain the fat pot as I prefer". Also my friends, make the special note of string tie on the trouser knee as preventative for the swift rat in the barn! This is international symbol of the country nature. I have too! I have already feeling of bonding with Somerset men for sure! Tomorrow will be all fierce stomp party at this place indeed!

 

(Dear Admins of this site of web - I make the apology if this pic of Wurzel man is in wrong place. Please move to RSBF if you feel the necessary.)

 

Oh my friends, all this research has made the drain on me. And now I hear Lotti calling for daily ration so I must go! Sometimes even the very Swede man has the loss of appetite for the sexy (though it is only when the moon is of a blue colour, as we say. Ha Ha! I make Swedish joke with you!). Welfare!

 

P.S. Mr Jeff Tweedy - can you pump the organ in hand? I have a hope. It would be the very climax of the auntie, all "my how you've grown" and sloppy kiss of the smudged lipstick and the strange smell, if this is not so after all my research.

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  • 4 years later...

A much needed smile was delivered by perusing the wonderful musings herein.

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