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Hate to Get So Personal


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Hey wait a minute... I forgot that you are a woman and you're not actually looking for advice. You really just want to vent.

 

Attention to all men on the board. Respond with, "Oh, men are pigs. I know exactly how you feel."

 

:cheekkiss

 

 

 

Ummm, I was looking for advice and other ppl to share their experiences. This has NOTHING to do with men being pigs!!! But thanks for belittling me and pretty much the worst day of my life...kudos to you!!! :thumbup

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Not telling you to leave at all, but isn't their a Yahoo group for this? Whenever I see some show about abuse, affairs, scams, etc. on TV they seem to throw in, "There are currently 340 Yahoo groups with 3,000 members for people that have been affected by.... "Anyway, give it a shot. :thumbup

 

Wow...you know what I would SAY SOMETHING MORE here, but since I don't want to get kicked off of this lovely board. I'm gonna keep it to myself.

 

These are MY friends, so this is where I CHOSE to come...but thanks for NOT telling me to leave!

 

Anyways, Lynn, Jorge, Bjorn and Pocahontas...ty!!! :D

 

 

Everyone's alive and has all their limbs. The day couldn't have been that bad. Look on the bright side--at least everyone's ok.

 

I know Jorge...I'm just saying this jamoke has no idea went I actually went thru today, so for him to be like he's being, ya know...kinda irks me.

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Hey wait a minute... I forgot that you are a woman and you're not actually looking for advice. You really just want to vent.

 

Attention to all men on the board. Respond with, "Oh, men are pigs. I know exactly how you feel."

 

:cheekkiss

 

i think that's a lot of bull shit, completely unneccesary and an extremely offensive post. If you don't agree with WW actions, then fine. Like she said, she opened herself up to this kind of criticism. However, she had a legitimate question about her legal situation and there are plenty of lawyers on this board who could probably chime in. You should really think hard before posting something like that.

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Why think when I can react! Bite me.

Dude, get a grip.

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Maybe they can offer some actual advice rather than debating whether or not an 11 year old with epilepsy can be monitored by an 8 year old with a phone.

Of course my point was simply that she's not helpless. The question "What could she do?" was asked and I answered. I think there's a balance between protecting kids and encouraging their independence and core-competencies. I've already backtracked in this specific situation, though.

 

These personal threads seem popular on Friday nights. It's not necessarily the best forum for tough issues, but hey, no big deal. I'm sure we're not the only ones being consulted.

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Hey wait a minute... I forgot that you are a woman and you're not actually looking for advice. You really just want to vent.

 

Attention to all men on the board. Respond with, "Oh, men are pigs. I know exactly how you feel."

 

:cheekkiss

 

what is it that you hope to accomplish by posting something this blatantly misogynistic and inflammatory?

 

if you have nothing constructive to offer, please just move along

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Yeah good gravy indeed. Blindgonzo, so easily worked up.

 

 

Ummm, I was "Good Gravy"ing this WHOLE thing!

 

And I was glad Blindgonzo stood up for me. There ARE a lot of lawyers on this board. And honestly, I didn't expect this many ppl to be paying attn at this time of night.

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Why think when I can react! Bite me.

 

I just don't see the point in writing something offensive like that. It doesn't help the conversation/debate in any way, and it certainly doesn't show what it is that you want other people to know about your stance on the subject. Your future comments won't be taken seriously, even if you do end up having a valid point. I just don't think it has a purpose.

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I'm sure we're not the only ones being consulted.

 

As my original post stated, you are correct...you are NOT the only ones.

 

 

I was just meaning in general. I agree with, don't worry!

 

Thanks...

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Is everyone really this serious on this board?

There is a certain respect we have for one another, which is engendered by the realization that we are all actual human beings and not robots programmed to type things in on the Internet. In these parts, you can't abuse people and expect it to go unchallenged.

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There is a certain respect we have for one another, which is engendered by the realization that we are all actual human beings and not robots programmed to type things in on the Internet. In these parts, you can't abuse people and expect it to go unchallenged.

 

 

:worship

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There is a certain respect we have for one another

I believe that to be true. There's a million message boards one could be on right now. Speaking for myself, I'm not only here because of the band, but also because of the people that are here.

 

WW, I hope everything works out for the best in what is a very difficult situation.

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i think it doesn't matter whether the kids are capable of being home alone or not. If the deal is that when the kids are with their parents they are not alone (ie., they are with father/stepmother or a babysitter) then that is the deal. When you share custody of children you have to figure out ways, as parents, to ensure that there is consistancy in their care. A conversation with WilcoWorshipper, her x and the step mother about the kids' care during the day when parents are all working would have alleviated this entire drama. While I might have made different choices (if i was a mom and a mom in WW's shoes) i think WW was well within her rights as the kid's primary caregiver to be concerned.

 

Good Luck WW. I hope it all works out and that the kids aren't adversely affected by this. They do still need some kind of relationship with their pop...

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Wow, WW.... sorry this became such a mess. :no It's ridiculous.

 

The only person/people who can really know if THIS 8 yr old and 11 yr old are ready to be home alone for 8 hrs would be their parents. Clearly, WW doesn't believe they are. Need there be any further discussion of that?

 

I don't have any experience with this, but maybe check out your state laws to see when your girls could choose on their own. (Although I'm sure you wouldn't want to leave the 8 yr old in joint custody alone.) Also, are you wanting to have them full time? Do you feel like this is your opportunity to pursue it? Or would you genuinely be comfortable with your ex having joint custody if he could promise they wouldn't be left home again? Or would you never believe/trust him? However you respond to those questions will probably affect how you approach this situation--either pursuing it with your lawyer or having a lengthy conversation with ex and his new wife. Both would be valid approaches, I just think that being clear about what it is your going for will make a huge difference in how you go about it. kwim?

 

Hang in there. Sorry you had to defend yourself and read such ridiculous posts, too. Maybe you'll soon have some new Wilco/Jeff Tweedy music to listen to. ;)

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The only person/people who can really know if THIS 8 yr old and 11 yr old are ready to be home alone for 8 hrs would be their parents. Clearly, WW doesn't believe they are. Need there be any further discussion of that?

Yup. Well said.

 

I was a latchkey kid from first grade on (age 6), often spending multiple hours on my own at home (though most days it was less than two), so in some cases that kind of arrangement works out fine. But that was 1974 or so, and we lived in a safe neighborhood where we knew most of our neighbors (and trusted them at least enough to be able to help me out if needed), and I was more mature intelligent than the average six-year-old, so my parents made the calculated decision that I'd be OK at home alone for short stretches so long as I knew who to call/what to do/where to go if trouble arose.

 

That was how it worked for my family, but I absolutely understand that it can't work that way for every family.

 

Good luck working this situation out, WW.

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I would have left one of my kids home at 11 without any sweat -- the other one, no way. So it's entirely subjective, and a judgement call to be made by the parents.

 

I know if my kids at that age had been in their fathers' custody and had been left alone that long, I would have been mighty pissed. And I'm willing to bet a judge would see it the same way, particularly when there's a serious health concern.

 

The way the kids feel about the situation has alot of bearing in court too.

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I don't have time to respond right now to everything, but I did want to thank all of you for what you did say, including those who sent personal notes. I will DEFINITELY respond to those tonight.

 

Teh VC is awesome!!! :wub Thank you for your kind words and support!!! :D

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I've always been told that joint custody rarely works, since it means continuing to co-parent the kid(s). That means the parents have to be on extremely good terms with each other, planning together, etc. I can't think of many split couples who can do that. I can't even agree with my ex on basic things like religion and schooling.

 

Maybe if WW talks to a lawyer, they can find enough 'holes in the plot' to recommend filing a motion for full custody? Dunno..just a thought. Her ex clearly broke her trust, especially lying about the plans and making a major care decision unilaterally. That doesn't qualify as joint custody by the definitions I've understood.

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