I'm A Cop!...You Idiot!

[Lammycat]

This.

 

At five years old, a child is simply not equipped to comprehend the full consequences of their actions, up to and including being handcuffed and then deposited into the back of a police cruiser for playing with matches.

I disagree. I've got three boys (one isn't five yet) and used to teach pre-school: they can comprehend full consequences. Depends on the kid, too, of course.

 

When I was 5, I took a 1-cent Bazooka Joe piece of bubblegum from the corner drug store out of an enormous old wine cask filled to the brim with them while mom was shopping. I didn't know it was "stealing" as I had little/no concept of money. As we walked out of the store and began to unwrap it, my mother questioned me how I got it. I told her I took it. She pulled my pants down in the middle of the sidewalk, swatted my ass, made me bring it back into the store, return it, and apologize. That was the last time I "stole" something. I wasn't scarred for life (though...maybe I was. Hmm...). Actions like that today would have people in tears and calling the police on my mom. I learned a lesson that day.

[austrya]

Ok, I can see doing this as "tough love" for your 15 year old kid who is out of control, but a 5 year old? Maybe instead of hanging out in front of the 7-11, the kid should be hanging out at the playground or in the back yard. There are other ways to teach your kid that fire isn't something to mess with. Although, in a perfect world, if the kid was having problems with fire and self control a referral to a psychiatrist would be ideal. However, she may not have the resources (money, insurance, etc.) to cover that.

 

Oh, and as far as cartoons go, Adventure Time is where it's at.

[bleedorange]

Oh, and as far as cartoons go, Adventure Time is where it's at.

 

I've never seen that one. The only ones I can really watch with my daughter are Dora and Diego. She loves them, but we limit TV time to when we are either both cooking dinner or she's sick. So there isn't a whole lot of television for her, in general. Plus, the Spanish is good for her and she really picks up on it.

[The High Heat]

 

When I was 5, I took a 1-cent Bazooka Joe piece of bubblegum from the corner drug store out of an enormous old wine cask filled to the brim with them while mom was shopping. I didn't know it was "stealing" as I had little/no concept of money. As we walked out of the store and began to unwrap it, my mother questioned me how I got it. I told her I took it. She pulled my pants down in the middle of the sidewalk, swatted my ass, made me bring it back into the store, return it, and apologize. That was the last time I "stole" something.

She sent you back into the store with your pants down? What?! Really?! What's wrong with some people?!

[Good Old Neon]

I disagree. I've got three boys (one isn't five yet) and used to teach pre-school: they can comprehend full consequences. Depends on the kid, too, of course.

 

It varies by the child, but more often than not, young children are impulsive and do not understand the real world consequences of their actions, which is why we spend the first half a dozen years or so teaching them how to not kill themselves – among a million and one other things. They understand the concept of right and wrong (more or less), but at five years of age, even though they may understand that playing with matches is dangerous (because mommy or daddy told them), they don’t really and truly understand, say, that their actions could kill them, burn the house down, etc.

 

Somehow, the vast majority of us get the point across without the need to have our children “arrested” when they display, or repeatedly display inappropriate behavior. It is certainly possible that this child is or has been displaying anti-social behavior, but again, at five years old, that type of behavior, if it is to be corrected, is best treated in a doctor’s office, not the backseat of a police car.

[Winston Legthigh]

What if the only thing the kid learns that if the only consequence to being bad is to be forced to sit in the back of a cruiser is no big thang?

[Guest Speed Racer]

Very true. If she had really wanted to show him what the true consequences were, she should have had him booked, placed in a cell, and either called his mom (god, I hope he knows his home phone number) for her to post bail, or wait in the jail until he could appear before a judge. Otherwise, you know, the lesson is just half-hearted.

 

But the real question: was he read his Miranda rights?

[Good Old Neon]

Very true. If she had really wanted to show him what the true consequences were, she should have had him booked, placed in a cell, and either called his mom (god, I hope he knows his home phone number) for her to post bail, or wait in the jail until he could appear before a judge. Otherwise, you know, the lesson is just half-hearted.

 

But the real question: was he read his Miranda rights?

 

Yep – and ultimately, her actions amount to little more than an elaborate and totally blown out of all proportion case of – “Wait until your father gets home!”

[Lammycat]

She sent you back into the store with your pants down? What?! Really?! What's wrong with some people?!

No.

[Lammycat]

Yep – and ultimately, her actions amount to little more than an elaborate and totally blown out of all proportion case of – “Wait until your father gets home!”

We don't know this. This is an assumption just as my take is an assumption. I don't think anyone here has said that the action the mother took was the best option. I think the line that divides here is between some people thinking it's a horrific and scarrring event for the child vs. those that don't think it's that bad of a thing (even though everyone can agree on the handcuffs deal). There's too much "context" involved that we don't know, imo, to make a complete judgment on this. I realize some feel there is never a justified reason for this. I say that, in context, it may not have been the horrific event some see it as.

[Winston Legthigh]

I think the mother should dump the cop and get some new friends.

[Guest Jules]

I've reached my "I don't give a shit" phase of this topic. Thought you all should know.

[Guest Speed Racer]

ok

[Lammycat]

I've reached my "I don't give a shit" phase of this topic. Thought you all should know.

Weird. That's usually your first phase....

[Guest Jules]

Weird. That's usually your first phase....

True. I noticed you were participating, though, so I gave it a 2nd chance.

[Guest Speed Racer]

I think the line that divides here is between some people thinking it's a horrific and scarrring event for the child vs. those that don't think it's that bad of a thing

 

I don't think it's "horrific and scarring," I think it is completely inappropriate, and that it qualifies as one of those things you never do to a five year-old. I was unaware that the line begins at "horrific and scarring."

 

There's too much "context" involved that we don't know, imo, to make a complete judgment on this.

 

Could you provide a context that would make this situation appropriate?

[Good Old Neon]

We don't know this. This is an assumption just as my take is an assumption. I don't think anyone here has said that the action the mother took was the best option. I think the line that divides here is between some people thinking it's a horrific and scarrring event for the child vs. those that don't think it's that bad of a thing (even though everyone can agree on the handcuffs deal). There's too much "context" involved that we don't know, imo, to make a complete judgment on this. I realize some feel there is never a justified reason for this. I say that, in context, it may not have been the horrific event some see it as.

 

The mother essentially ceded her authority to the police, which, to me, is not unlike a mom or dad saying, “wait until mom/dad gets home.” Which, is a great way to sort of teach your child that mom/dad is the true authority where discipline is concerned, not yourself.

 

At the end of the day, I simply do not believe there is ANY context (outside of say, a school play) that justifies handcuffing and/or mock arresting a 5 year old child. If, as has already been pointed out, his playing (fascination) with matches (fire) appears to be chronic, or symptomatic of a possible psychological condition, the mom should seek professional help. Hell, a better way to handle it might have involved stopping by the fire department to allow a firefighter to explain the dangers associated with matches.

[Lammycat]

Could you provide a context that would make this situation appropriate?

I don't know, maybe if the mom had already talked to him a few times and the message wasn't getting across to him but she didn't feel the need to rush him to a doctor of whatever sort and had a friend who was willing to role-play to help the kid realize the seriousness of playing with matches/lighters....

If this was done in a mellow, teachable moment-like manner I'd say that's context, too. I don't envision the cop roaring into the lot and grabbing the kid and throwing him in the back of the car like a real bust. I may be wrong though. In that case, I'd side with the bad idea folks.

[Winston Legthigh]

Could you provide a context that would make this situation appropriate?

Filming a pilot for "Kids get arrested for the darndest things"?

[Guest Jules]

I don't think it's "horrific and scarring," I think it is completely inappropriate, and that it qualifies as one of those things you never do to a five year-old. I was unaware that the line begins at "horrific and scarring."

Yeah, but he's not your kid.

[Lammycat]

The mother essentially ceded her authority to the police, which, to me, is not unlike a mom or dad saying, “wait until mom/dad gets home.” Which, is a great way to sort of teach your child that mom/dad is the true authority where discipline is concerned, not yourself.

 

At the end of the day, I simply do not believe there is ANY context (outside of say, a school play) that justifies handcuffing and/or mock arresting a 5 year old child. If, as has already been pointed out, his playing (fascination) with matches (fire) appears to be chronic, or symptomatic of a possible psychological condition, the mom should seek professional help. Hell, a better way to handle it might have involved stopping by the fire department to allow a firefighter to explain the dangers associated with matches.

 

Yeah, stopping by the fire department would have been a better way to handle it. There are a lot of better ways to handle it. But, again, I think in context it may not have been the horrible thing some folks make it out to be. If the cop (a friend of the mother) came to their house instead of the 7-11 would that have been less offensive?

 

Filming a pilot for "Kids get arrested for the darndest things"?

 

[Guest Speed Racer]

teachable moment-like manner

 

Wouldn't you agree that teachable moments that end up in the back of a police cruiser belong to those old enough to, say, mow a lawn? Use a stove to cook? Don't need a step-up block to brush their teeth? Can cross the street without a guardian?

 

The teachable moment would have been if the cop, in plainclothes - hell, even in uniform - sat him down and talked with him about the dangers of fire. No car, no cuffs, no arrest.

[Lammycat]

Maybe that's already been done...?

[Guest Speed Racer]

Yeah, stopping by the fire department would have been a better way to handle it. There are a lot of better ways to handle it. But, again, I think in context it may not have been the horrible thing some folks make it out to be. If the cop (a friend of the mother) came to their house instead of the 7-11 would that have been less offensive?

 

But now you're talking it out of the context of a fake arrest, aren't you?

[Guest Jules]

Wouldn't you agree that teachable moments that end up in the back of a police cruiser belong to those old enough to, say, mow a lawn? Use a stove to cook? Don't need a step-up block to brush their teeth? Can cross the street without a guardian?

 

The teachable moment would have been if the cop, in plainclothes - hell, even in uniform - sat him down and talked with him about the dangers of fire. No car, no cuffs, no arrest.

Why are you so concerned with how other people decide to discipline their kids?