I'm A Cop!...You Idiot!

[u2roolz]

Florida mom has 5 year old son "arrested" in public

 

FORT MYERS, Fla -- A Fort Myers mother is under fire for the way she disciplined her 5-year-old son in public. She is calling it tough love but some people who witnessed it were moved to tears, calling it way too harsh for a child that young.

 

The woman had her son arrested outside a 7-11 store in Lehigh Acres to teach him a lesson about the dangers of playing with matches and lighters.

 

Her friend, a 15-year veteran Lee county sheriff's deputy, played along in the mock arrest and handcuffed the child and put him in the back of a cruiser. Horrified witnesses couldn't believe their eyes. One woman said, "That's not a way to treat a child, that's not a way to teach a lesson to a little boy."

 

The mother, who is only identified as "Michelle," stands by her decision saying, "I'd do it again. If more parents did what I did we wouldn't have the crime that we have now".

 

 

 

Really?! Just because you can't discipline a child doesn't mean that you have to go and get them fake arrested in public! This is so beyond being wrong. And what foolish cop risks his/her career by partaking in this nonsense?

[Lammycat]

 

 

 

Really?! Just because you can't discipline a child doesn't mean that you have to go and get them fake arrested in public! This is so beyond being wrong. And what foolish cop risks his/her career by partaking in this nonsense?

 

Isn't this a form of discipline, though? The kid was not physically harmed and will have an indelible memory of the day the cops came. I'm betting he doesn't play with matches/lighters anymore. The hand cuffs were going too far, though.

[Guest Speed Racer]

will have an indelible memory of the day the cops came

 

And that's a good thing? Memory of what message? To not play with matches? To be afraid of cops? He will eventually outgrow the desire to play with matches; if he doesn't, if he truly has antisocial tendencies, that's not something that a cop can cure in a single "arrest". Did he even make the connection between the time he played with matches and the arrest (I'm assuming these were separate instances)? If I recall, children of that age learn best with an action-immediate consequence lesson and not with an action-long time lapse-indirect consequence sequence.

[tongue-tied lightning]

the hand cuffs were going a little over board ? ya think ?

[Lammycat]

And that's a good thing? Memory of what message? To not play with matches? To be afraid of cops? He will eventually outgrow the desire to play with matches; if he doesn't, if he truly has antisocial tendencies, that's not something that a cop can cure in a single "arrest". Did he even make the connection between the time he played with matches and the arrest (I'm assuming these were separate instances)? If I recall, children of that age learn best with an action-immediate consequence lesson and not with an action-long time lapse-indirect consequence sequence.

 

I'm assuming the incident with the matches took place in/around the 7-11, so it was an instant message/lesson to the kid. While mom is waiting for him to "outgrow" the desire to play with matches maybe the boy burns a house down....

 

I'm not saying calling a friend who's a cop is THE BEST way to discipline/teach the kid a lesson, but I'd imagine it's effective.

[The High Heat]

They shoulda tased the little bugger.

[Guest Speed Racer]

I'm assuming the incident with the matches took place in/around the 7-11, so it was an instant message/lesson to the kid. While mom is waiting for him to "outgrow" the desire to play with matches maybe the boy burns a house down....

 

I'm not saying calling a friend who's a cop is THE BEST way to discipline/teach the kid a lesson, but I'd imagine it's effective.

 

I don't know, my sister set a towel on fire after placing it over a lamp when she was 5 or 6. I'm pretty sure she would have been permanently scarred if my parents had a police officer come and pretend to arrest her. Hell, I would have been scarred if she had been arrested for that.

 

At that age, when children are learning who to trust and who to fear, police officers absolutely need to fall into the "People You Can Trust" category. Having one you don't know scare the living daylights out of you for something like that is NOT how that works.

[ih8music]

I shudder to think what this mom is going to do when this kid breaks a window playing ball...

[caliber66]

Not knowing the kid's history with matches/fire is hindering my coming to a conclusion about the mother's behavior.

[LouieB]

During my review of a daycare center today, the director told me some mother here in the neighborhood where I am is parading her 13 year old around the streets with a box around him that says "I am a thief". Yikes....

 

LouieB

[jff]

It could have been a lot worse. For instance, the mom could've yelled "don't drop the soap" to her son when they put him in the police car?

[Lammycat]

Breaking windows doesn't burn a house down. Putting a towel over a lamp isn't the same as playing with fire. I understand why people would be shocked by the actions, but I really don't see a huge problem with this (save for the cuffs). I also don't think the article goes into enough depth of how the kid was actually treated (was it treated as a "bust?" Was he talked to in a concerned/calm/teachable-moment-like manner?).

[Guest Speed Racer]

Putting a towel over a lamp isn't the same as playing with fire.

 

Are the flames, like, fake or something? My sister did that as standard practice for games and playtime until the towel fell through the shade (not an unlikely scenario) and went up in a matter of seconds. Or is 5, like, too young to teach about malicious intent?

 

(was it treated as a "bust?" Was he talked to in a concerned/calm/teachable-moment-like manner?)

 

Was he thrown into the back of a police car that likely had some creepy stains and stenches?

 

I simply don't think a 5 yaer-old has the cognitive capacity to connect the behavior with the consequence, other than "If you use a match, really, really scary strangers come and steal you," and I don't believe that is appropriate or effective.

[Guest Speed Racer]

Not knowing the kid's history with matches/fire is hindering my coming to a conclusion about the mother's behavior.

 

Under what circumstances would it be appropriate?

 

If your kid has a chronic and compelling interest in something so dangerous, and you have already sat him down once, twice, or ten times, you take the kid to his pediatritian and ask for a referral to a counseler or psychiatrist. If your kid doesn't have a compelling obsession like that, then you keep the disciplining to yourself.

[Lammycat]

Are the flames, like, fake or something? My sister did that as standard practice for games and playtime until the towel fell through the shade (not an unlikely scenario) and went up in a matter of seconds. Or is 5, like, too young to teach about malicious intent?

It's not the same because your sister wasn't playing with fire, per se. Towels weren't the problem; where she put the towel was the problem. Matches and a lighter are almost always a problem when in a kid's hands.

[Guest Speed Racer]

So are towels and lamps, apparently.

[Lammycat]

I simply don't think a 5 yaer-old has the cognitive capacity to connect the behavior with the consequence, other than "If you use a match, really, really scary strangers come and steal you," and I don't believe that is appropriate or effective.

I disagree, but if this is prevents the kid from playing with fire for a few years until he does understand the connection to fire/danger, than it was an effective lesson.

 

So are towels and lamps, apparently.

 

Ok. Maybe a cop should have been brought in when the habit of putting towels on lamps for playtime first started then.

 

I wonder if the kid was even freaked about the incident. Article doesn't say.

[MattZ]

If your kid has a chronic and compelling interest in something so dangerous, and you have already sat him down once, twice, or ten times, you take the kid to his pediatritian and ask for a referral to a counseler or psychiatrist. If your kid doesn't have a compelling obsession like that, then you keep the disciplining to yourself.

 

You make it sound very simple to discipline and it often isn't. Plenty of kids dont listen once, twice, or ten times simply because they are pushing you and they are pushing limits. I am with caliber. We have no idea what happened here.

[The High Heat]

It's says police officer, not Catholic priest. What's the concern?

[bjorn_skurj]

"Forget it, Jake. It's Florida."

[Atticus]

that dude was hanging outside a 7-11. he was probably smoking crack with the lighter and/or matches. way to go mom!

[ih8music]

You make it sound very simple to discipline and it often isn't. Plenty of kids dont listen once, twice, or ten times simply because they are pushing you and they are pushing limits. I am with caliber. We have no idea what happened here.

I agree we don't know the whole story... but the kid is FIVE. I can't imagine a scenario where a five year old is so "bad" that the best course of punishment is to have him fake-arrested and handcuffed like this.

[Guest Speed Racer]

You make it sound very simple to discipline and it often isn't. Plenty of kids dont listen once, twice, or ten times simply because they are pushing you and they are pushing limits. I am with caliber. We have no idea what happened here.

 

No, we don't know what happened. But when would it be appropriate to have a police officer fake-arrest a 5 year-old?

 

Surely it is not simple at all to raise a kid, but millions of parents do so every year without emotionally harming or fake-arresting their kids.

[MattZ]

No, we don't know what happened. But when would it be appropriate to have a police officer fake-arrest a 5 year-old?

 

 

Maybe here. Maybe not. I don't know.

[Guest Speed Racer]

I don't know.

 

You can't think of a hypothetical situation where it would be appropriate to have a cop fake-arrest a 5 year-old? Funny, I can't either.