Terrible lyrics from good songs

[Lammycat]

Why do you hate Dylan?

[Mr. Heartbreak]

I thought we were looking for good songs here. Dylan is the place to start when it comes to good songs. 

[Lammycat]

Zappa has A LOT of terrible. juvenile-esque lyrics. I realize it's kind of his "thing" and all, but I remember being 13 or so and putting  Sheik Yerboutti on the turntable for the first time and, even at that goofy age, cringing a bit at some of the lyrics.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Yeah, but some of those songs themselves just aren't good.

The trick is finding a good song with a bad lyric.

 

Okay, here's a Zappa one:

 

Can't escape the conclusion
It's probably God's Will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill

 

That is pretty weak, but the rest of the song is really funny.

[choo-choo-charlie]

Desolation Row is brilliant, from start to finish.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Desolation Row is brilliant, from start to finish.

No, that would be Visions of Johanna.

[choo-choo-charlie]

No, that would be Visions of Johanna.

 

That, this, and Just Like a Woman.

[Lammycat]

"Visions..." is likely my favorite Dylan tune, lyrically (next to "It Takes a Lot to Laugh," ...). GD always did a really nice version of it, too.

[Winston Legthigh]

Kiss songs may not be "good", but their lyrics always make me laugh.

 

Deuce's first line: GET UP! And get your grandma outta here!

 

But their best (worst) song for lyrics has got to be Love Gun:

 

I really love you baby
I love what you've got
Let's get together, we can
Get hot
No more tomorrow, baby
Time is today
Girl, I can make you feel
Okay

 

I love that he's promising to make her feel "okay" - that's such a total "meh" seduction.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

 

I love that he's promising to make her feel "okay" - that's such a total "meh" seduction.

Classic.

Check out the lyrics to Rocket Ride or Great Expectations for some real laughs, too.

[Sir Stewart]

Don't forget Room Service. 

http://www.avclub.com/article/jon-wurster-on-why-he-hates-kiss-room-service-83543

[Winston Legthigh]

Don't forget Room Service. 

http://www.avclub.com/article/jon-wurster-on-why-he-hates-kiss-room-service-83543

that was a great read. I'm like the author in that I have no interest in KISS's music, though they were my favorite band when I was about 7 or so (that phase included Kiss meets the Phantom of the Park, and their appearance on the Paul Lynde Halloween special.) but I want to know everything about them.

[Moss]

This should be easy to come up with but I'm struggling.  If it's a good song, sometimes the lyrics are so bad they are actually kind of good.

 

Maybe something by YES?

 

Or how about:

 

Baby learns to crawl, watching daddies skin. --- Paul Weserberg. 

 

Although that's actually kind of clever.

 

Wait, how about Last in Line by Dio, metal is often good for bad lyrics:

 

We're a ship without a storm
Cold without the warm
Light inside the darkness lit at peace

We're a laugh without a tear
Hope without the fear
We are coming??..Home

We're off to the Witch
We may never never never come home
But the magic that we'll feel is worth a lifetime

We're all thrown upon the cross
We'll be thrown before the toss
You can release yourself but the only way is Down

We can't come alone
We are Fire We are stone
We're the hand that writes & quickly moves away

[CHORUS]
We'll know for the first time
If we're Evil or Devine
We're the Last in Line

Two Eyes from the East
It's the Angel of the Beast
And the answer lies between all good and Bad

We search for the Truth
We could die upon the Tooth
But the thrill of just the chase is worth the pain

 

[ih8music]

Baby learns to crawl, watching daddies skin. --- Paul Weserberg.

 

Although that's actually kind of clever.

 

 

That's one of my all time favorite PW lines. Right up there with handful of friends.

 

For a klunky PW/mats like look no further than my usernamesake - I hate music/got too many notes.

[Moss]

That's one of my all time favorite PW lines. Right up there with handful of friends.

 

For a klunky PW/mats like look no further than my usernamesake - I hate music/got too many notes.

There is something about it that is almost too clever and kind of gross. But it is a very Westerberg line so I can look past it.

[Lammycat]

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
And a round thing in your face you get sprung

Wanna pull up tough
'Cause you noticed that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearin
I'm hooked and I can't stop starin

Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take yo picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes m-m-me so horny

Ooh, Rumpo Smoothskin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen her dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So, fellas!
(Yeah!)
Fellas!
(Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt?
(Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it!
(Shake it!)
Shake it!
(Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

L.A. face with a Oakland booty
Baby got back!
L.A. face with a Oakland booty
L.A. face with a Oakland booty

I like 'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh!
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-A-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna
(Uh!)
Til the break of dawn!

Baby got it goin' on
A lot of pimps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So, ladies!
(Yeah!)
Ladies!
(Yeah!)
If you wanna roll my Mercedes
(Yeah!)
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!
Baby got back!

Yeah baby, when it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection
36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you got buns, hun

You can do side bends or sit-ups
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt aint gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat
Well, I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to diss
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round
And you want a Triple-X throwdown
Dial 1-900-MIX-ALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!
Baby got back!

Little in the middle but she got much back
Little in the middle but she got much back
Little in the middle but she got much back
Little in the middle but she got much back

 

[Lammycat]

Baby when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside there was something going on

You do something to me that I can't explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain every beat of my heart
We got something going on

Tender love is blind it requires a dedication
All this love we feel needs no conversation
We ride it together, uh huh
Makin' love with each other, uh huh

Islands in the stream that is what we are
No one in between how can we be wrong?
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, uh huh
From one lover to another, uh huh

I can't live without you if the love is gone
Everything is nothing if you got no one
And you did walk in the night
Slowly losin' sight of the real thing

But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear this could be the year for the real thing

No more will you cry, baby I will hurt you never
We start and end as one in love forever
We can ride it together, uh huh
Makin' love with each other, uh huh

Islands in the stream that is what we are
No one in between how can we be wrong?
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, uh huh
From one lover to another, uh huh

Islands in the stream that is what we are
No one in between how can we be wrong?
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, uh huh
From one lover to another, uh huh

Islands in the stream that is what we are
No one in between how can we be wrong?
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, uh huh
From one lover to another, uh huh

Islands in the stream that is what we are

 

[Lammycat]

Danger in the shape of somethin' wild
Stranger dressed in black, she's a hungry child
No one knows who she is or what her name is
I don't know where she came from or what her game is

Hot child in the city
Hot child in the city
Runnin' wild and lookin' pretty
Hot child in the city

So young to be loose and on her own
Young boys, they all want to take her home
When she goes downtown, the boys all stop and stare
When she goes downtown, she walks like she just don't care

Hot child in the city
Hot child in the city
Runnin' wild and lookin' pretty
Hot child in the city

Come on down to my place, baby
We'll talk about love
Come on down to my place, woman
We'll make love

Hot child in the city
Hot child in the city
Runnin' wild and lookin' pretty
Hot child in the city

Hot child in the city
Hot child in the city
Runnin' wild and lookin' pretty
Hot child in the city
Hot child in the city

 

[Lammycat]

I believe in miracles 
Where're you from, 
you sexy thing, you 
sexy thang you 
I believe in miracles 
since u came along, 
you sexy thing 

Where did you come from, baby 
How did you know, I needed you 
How dod you know I needed you so badly 
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly 
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people 
Now your lying close to me, 
making love to me 
I believe in miracles 
Where're you from, 
you sexy thing, 
sexy thing you 
I believe in miracles 
Since you came along, 
you sexy thing 

Where did you come from, angel 
How did you know I'd be the one 
Did you know your everything i prayed for? 
Did you know every night and day for 
Everyday, you'd give love satisfaction 
Now your lying next to me, giving it to me 

I believe in miracles 
Where're you from? 
you sexy thing, 
sexy thing you 
I believe in miracles 
since u came along 
sexy thing 

Kiss me, you sexy thing 
Touch me baby, you sexy thing 
I love the way you touch my darling, 
you sexy thing 
Its ecastacy 

yesterday i was one of the lonely people 
Now your lying close to me giving it to me 

I believe in miracles 
Where're you from? 
you sexy thing, 
sexy thing you 
I believe in miracles 
Since you came along, 
you sexy thing 

Touch me, Kiss me darling,
i love the way you love me baby 
Its ecastacy, its ecstacy, 
sexy thing, 
I love the way you kiss me darling 
Love the way you hold me, 
keep on loving me darling 
Keep on loving me baby

[PopTodd]

 

I like big butts and I cannot lie

You other brothers can't deny

That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist

And a round thing in your face you get sprung

Wanna pull up tough

'Cause you noticed that butt was stuffed

Deep in the jeans she's wearin

I'm hooked and I can't stop starin

Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha

And take yo picture

My homeboys tried to warn me

But that butt you got makes m-m-me so horny

Ooh, Rumpo Smoothskin

You say you wanna get in my Benz?

Well, use me, use me

'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen her dancin'

To hell with romancin'

She's sweat, wet

Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' flat butts are the thing

Take the average black man and ask him that

She gotta pack much back

So, fellas!

(Yeah!)

Fellas!

(Yeah!)

Has your girlfriend got the butt?

(Hell yeah!)

Tell 'em to shake it!

(Shake it!)

Shake it!

(Shake it!)

Shake that healthy butt!

Baby got back!

L.A. face with a Oakland booty

Baby got back!

L.A. face with a Oakland booty

L.A. face with a Oakland booty

I like 'em round and big

And when I'm throwin' a gig

I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal

Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home

And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh!

I ain't talkin' bout Playboy

'Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy

So find that juicy double

Mix-A-Lot's in trouble

Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos

Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hoes

You can have them bimbos

I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya

I won't cuss or hit ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna

(Uh!)

Til the break of dawn!

Baby got it goin' on

A lot of pimps won't like this song

'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it

And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm long and I'm strong

And I'm down to get the friction on

So, ladies!

(Yeah!)

Ladies!

(Yeah!)

If you wanna roll my Mercedes

(Yeah!)

Then turn around! Stick it out!

Even white boys got to shout

Baby got back!

Baby got back!

Yeah baby, when it comes to females

Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection

36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda

Playin' workout tapes by Fonda

But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

My anaconda don't want none

Unless you got buns, hun

You can do side bends or sit-ups

But please don't lose that butt

Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role

And tell you that the butt aint gold

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat

Well, I ain't down with that!

'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'

And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines

You ain't it, Miss Thing!

Give me a sista, I can't resist her

Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to diss

'Cause his girls are on my list

He had game but he chose to hit 'em

And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round

And you want a Triple-X throwdown

Dial 1-900-MIX-ALOT

And kick them nasty thoughts

Baby got back!

Baby got back!

Little in the middle but she got much back

Little in the middle but she got much back

Little in the middle but she got much back

Little in the middle but she got much back

 

 

what are you talking about?

Those are genius!

[moxiebean]

A few clunkers from the Wilco canon:

 

When you perform it's so intense. (The Lonely 1)

His vocal chords are made of gold / He just looks a little too old (Late Greats)

The drunks were ricocheting (Sky Blue Sky)

[bleedorange]

A few clunkers from the Wilco canon:

 

When you perform it's so intense. (The Lonely 1)

His vocal chords are made of gold / He just looks a little too old (Late Greats)

The drunks were ricocheting (Sky Blue Sky)

 

What's wrong with that one???

[Magnetized]

 

A few clunkers from the Wilco canon:

 

When you perform it's so intense. (The Lonely 1)

His vocal chords are made of gold / He just looks a little too old (Late Greats)

The drunks were ricocheting (Sky Blue Sky)

Noooo! Those are all good! Especially the awkwardness of the line from The Lonely 1. Remember, that's from the perspective of an overinvolved fan (yes, I'm looking in the mirror) who would say something geeky like that.

 

And the other two, well, I have no problem with them. They don't strike me as particularly brilliant but not clunkers either.

 

Interesting that what falls flat on one person's ear isn't necessarily the same for everyone.

 

Can we all agree that "turn your frown upside down" maybe wasn't Jeff's finest moment?

[Lammycat]

I really like this tune, but really?:

 

Don't sit next to me in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Who's that bouncing on your knee
Could it be my baby bumble bee

[IRememberDBoon]

is the lyric "when I sat down on the bed next to you, you started to cry" kinda cheesy??
don't get me wrong. I LOVE the song


I always love

Your hands and feet are mangos
Youre gonna be a genius anyway