The 15 Most Outrageous Claims in Pop Music History

[Boots]

http://www.cracked.com/print.php?sid=1857

 

The 15 Most Outrageous Claims in Pop Music History

 

Articles /

Apr 18, 2007 - 12:05 AM

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It's happened to everyone. You're driving along listening to the radio when you hear a lyric so mind-bogglingly false that you instinctively swerve directly into a telephone pole, blinded by sheer amazement at the idiotic idea you've been asked to accept. Well, we're not going to take these artists' claims at face value anymore. Here are the most outrageous assertions that pop music has asked us to accept over the last four decades.

 

 

15

"We can do it till we both wake up."

Color Me Badd, "I Want to Sex You Up"

First off, it's hard to believe that anyone can have sex while they're asleep, and harder still to believing that all four members of Color Me Badd have been blessed with this amazing talent. Look at these stooges

[MrRain422]

Personal favorite: the new Stooges song, "ATM", features the lyric "The Stooges fight poverty in secret." Hilarious. Best lyric ever.

[mountain bed]

Thanks for that Boots. I'm not sure that I agree that B. Adams is not a robot though.

[yermom]

I read about Redman's and had to stop to keep from giggling uncontrollably in a public place. I'll have to read the rest in the privacy of my home.

[cryptique]

I was pretty disappointed in this piece. Great premise ... poor execution.

[deepseacatfish]

On the topic of outrageous claims/lyrics...a few of my favorites:

 

Richochet-Daddy's Money

"She's a good bass fisher / A dynamite kisser / Country as a turnip green"

 

Maybe this one is a compliment to fisher-persons, but really dynamite kisser/good bass fisher is just a really off the wall weird ass combo. And the turnip green bit is just kind of funny. I heard this one flipping through on the radio and actually laughed in the car.

 

Lynyrd Skynyrd-That Smell

"Ooh, ooh that smell / Can't you smell that smell?"

 

What the hell is this line doing in a song? It's probably one of the stupidest single lines until Mmmbop came along. Plus Skynyrd has never been a favorite of mine.

 

Foreigner-Dirty White Boy

"Cause I'm a dirty white boy / Yeah a dirty white boy / A dirty white boy"

 

This song caused me to laugh uncontrollably. Foreigner gets so into it that it nearly made me cry with laughter, especially when the full backup vocals on this chorus come in.

 

Lil Flip-Sunshine

"I'll treat you like milk, I'll do nothing but spoil you"

 

It's supposed to be a compliment, but it just ends up sounding like a weird and stupid line. Spoiled milk smells awful and looks bad, it just doesn't work.

 

MC Hammer-Pumps and a Bump

"Pumps and a bump, Pumps and a bump, we like the girls with the Pumps and a bump!"

 

He was done long before this song came out, but this was really the last nail in the proverbial coffin.

[jhh4321]

I was pretty disappointed in this piece. Great premise ... poor execution.

 

no lie

[bjorn_skurj]

I thought it was quite funny.

[Is Chicago Is Not Chicago]

That DMX line has always freaked me out/disturbed me.

[holweger]

I was pretty disappointed in this piece. Great premise ... poor execution.

 

agreed. either the writers are trying WAY to hard to be clever, or they have absolutely no imagination.

 

for example, i'm not really a huge fan of the song Piano Man (and especially not a fan of Billy Joel), but I have always loved the lyric "making love to his tonic & gin"...which I think is a very poetic way of saying a person is getting fucking hammered. And I've always assumed a "Real Estate Novelist" is an aspiring (but failing) writer who works a day job as a sales agent in the soul-sucking world of real estate.

 

but maybe that's just me...

[mjpuczko]

billy joel rules

[holweger]

billy joel rules

 

I expected that response from you...

[mjpuczko]

 

he reminds me of simpler times. though i can't listen to any of his stuff post 85 or so.

[Sir Stewart]

That DMX line has always freaked me out/disturbed me.

I love that line.

[Serak_the_Preparer]

 

he reminds me of simpler times. though i can't listen to any of his stuff post 85 or so.

 

I whole-heartedly agree. Old Billy Joel rules, newer Billy Joel, not so good.

[rockinrob]

On the topic of outrageous claims/lyrics...a few of my favorites:

 

Lynyrd Skynyrd-That Smell

"Ooh, ooh that smell / Can't you smell that smell?"

 

What the hell is this line doing in a song? It's probably one of the stupidest single lines until Mmmbop came along. Plus Skynyrd has never been a favorite of mine.

 

Im not really a skynyrd fan either, but this is a drug song. The guitar player crashed a brand new corvette into a tree cause he was loaded, and they had been around some junkies. the next line is "the smell of death's around you"

 

So he is trying to say that death is clouding over the junkie. Like that bad vibe you get around some people. I always thought it was a cool way of saying it.

 

 

I always thought that Ozzy should have worked more on the Black Sabbath song "fairies wear boots" If you cant make up a line, just scream "YEEEAAAA" for awhile!

 

"I went to the doc to see what he would tell me.

He said, son, son, You've got to stop.

Cause smoking and drinking is all that you do

yeaaaaaaaaaa"