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Misspoken or Misunderstood phrases


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I've been meaning to start this thread for a long time. After years of perusing message boards I've seen some pretty funny examples of common phrases that have been totally misspoken, probably for the person's entire life.

 

Do you have any funny butchered phrases you've seen/heard? Have you been told you've had something completely wrong all these years? Have you or someone you know misunderstood the meaning of a common phrase?

 

I want to laugh, people!!!!

 

 

My examples (both seen on a message board just this week):

 

"This girl used to live next store to me...."

 

"He must have an alter eagle."

 

 

And here's my embarrassing contribution.....until a few years ago I thought the End Left Lane Prohibition signs on the highway were some kind of protest signs put up by truckers.

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That one bugs the shit out of me. Also in that vein, when people use "I" incorrectly instead of "me" because they're trying to sound wicked smart.
Or even worse, they say "myself" instead of "me".

 

Those truckers have been cooking up bathtub gin in the left lane for years!
:lolI just thought they were rallying against being banned from driving their rigs in the left lane!
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Ethical ethnics...is that sort of like the 21st century noble savage?

 

Yeah, something like that. I just talk to a lot of insurance agents who want to talk to me about their "ethnics requirement. It's ridiculous.

 

they also add an "a" to it. "A scissor" WTF is that?

 

A knife?

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