It's time!

[Edie]

I forgot how much I love this:

 

Dear Red States:

 

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California and we've decided we're leaving.

 

We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

 

In case you aren't aware that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

 

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

 

To sum up briefly:

 

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

 

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

 

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

 

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

 

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

 

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

 

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

 

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states

pay their fair share.

 

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

 

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro choice and anti war and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

 

We wish you success in Iraq and hope that the WMDs turn up but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

 

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

 

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

 

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

 

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

 

We're taking the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

 

Sincerely,

Author Unknown in New California.

[Tweedling]

Come on now. I never said I was afraid of anything.

[Mrs. Peel]

Huckabee scares the crap out of me. I first heard of him in 1997 when he became governor due to scandal and then in his first act, moved up the execution of a murderer who converted to Buddhism -- Frankie Parker.

 

Interestingly, Huckabee went on to pardon a number of murders and rapists who had converted to Christianity (including one then went on to rape and murder again).

 

Get a load of this: Top 10 moments

 

 

Wow, thanks for ruining my Obama high, Edie!

[MattZ]

sounds great treehugger - let's bring back the days of Jim Crow, poll taxes, registration "tests", etc.

 

 

Do you really think the slope is that slippery?

[Edie]

Wow, thanks for ruining my Obama high, Edie!

huh?

[Reni]

Do you really think the slope is that slippery?

 

yes, yes I do.

[Mrs. Peel]

huh?

 

I've stopped being excited for the idea of President Obama and started being terrified at the prospect of President Huckabee.

[Edie]

I've stopped being excited for the idea of President Obama and started being terrified at the prospect of President Huckabee.

 

Ahhh. Peel, I wouldn't worry about it. Huckabee is a nutjob and I can't see enough of the American people buying what he is selling. Though if he does win, I'm moving in with Dreamin' as her long lost cousin.

[Mrs. Peel]

I'll be hiding in the trunk of the car as you cross the border.

[gogo]

More from that NY Times piece:

 

The name of his principal rival in Iowa, Mitt Romney, went unmentioned. Romney, a Mormon, had promised that he would be addressing the subject of his religion a few days later. I asked Huckabee, who describes himself as the only Republican candidate with a degree in theology, if he considered Mormonism a cult or a religion. ''I think it's a religion,'' he said. ''I really don't know much about it.''

 

I was about to jot down this piece of boilerplate when Huckabee surprised me with a question of his own: ''Don't Mormons,'' he asked in an innocent voice, ''believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?''

[Edie]

[Reni]

does Huckabee ever read books? I mean, he has to be one of the most ignorant (and I mean that in the most sincere textbook definition of the word) people I have ever seen on a campaign trail......he makes Fred Thompson look like a great thinker.

 

Have you ever heard him questioned on current issues? It's pretty sad, really. You'd think he'd at least have advisers who keep him abreast of the day's news.

[bjorn_skurj]

I ain't buyin' it. Huckabee had gastric bypass.

[PigSooie]

I ain't buyin' it. Huckabee had gastric bypass.

 

That's what I thought, but I don't really keep up with this stuff.

[jimmyjimmy]

Can we vote in favor of a bill that would require a quick IQ test, just a rudimentary one really, prior to casting a vote?

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don

[Good Old Neon]

I ain't buyin' it. Huckabee had gastric bypass.

 

Perhaps, but Jesus performed the surgery.

 

Huckabee ain

[Good Old Neon]

sounds great treehugger - let's bring back the days of Jim Crow, poll taxes, registration "tests", etc.

 

 

 

I was only joking of course. In reality, I would never want to see, nor would I endorse any sort of intelligence based restrictions or tests as a prerequisite to voting

[Good Old Neon]

I forgot how much I love this:

 

 

Dear Red States:

 

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California and we've decided we're leaving.

 

We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

 

In case you aren't aware that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

 

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

 

To sum up briefly:

 

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

 

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

 

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

 

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

 

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

 

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

 

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

 

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states

pay their fair share.

 

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

 

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro choice and anti war and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

 

We wish you success in Iraq and hope that the WMDs turn up but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

 

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

 

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

 

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

 

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

 

We're taking the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

 

Sincerely,

Author Unknown in New California.

 

That was great Edie, now, who must I speak with in order to get this amended to the constitution?

[Reni]

I was only joking of course. In reality, I would never want to see, nor would I endorse any sort of intelligence based restrictions or tests as a prerequisite to voting

[cryptique]

does Huckabee ever read books? I mean, he has to be one of the most ignorant (and I mean that in the most sincere textbook definition of the word) people I have ever seen on a campaign trail......he makes Fred Thompson look like a great thinker.

If you're referring to the whole "Jesus and Satan are brothers" thing, his question is not an ignorant one. Here's a long essay on the subject.

[Good Old Neon]

If you're referring to the whole "Jesus and Satan are brothers" thing, his question is not an ignorant one. Here's a long essay on the subject.

 

A presidential candidate who holds that belief, in any way shape or form, sort of gives me a case of the howling fantods.

[gogo]

My concern with that question is more based on his theology degree. I'm guessing that his degree is based more on study of the bible, rather than comparative study with Mormonism, but I'd still want a presidential candidate with a degree in theology to have a relatively nuanced understanding of other religions. The "I think it's a religion... I don't know that much about it" part is as disturbing to me as the Jesus/Satan/brothers thing.

[Reni]

My concern with that question is more based on his theology degree. I'm guessing that his degree is based more on study of the bible, rather than comparative study with Mormonism, but I'd still want a presidential candidate with a degree in theology to have a relatively nuanced understanding of other religions. The "I think it's a religion... I don't know that much about it" part is as disturbing to me as the Jesus/Satan/brothers thing.

 

you said exactly what I was thinking and couldn't find the words.

 

[explodo]

Huckabee is a nutjob and I can't see enough of the American people buying what he is selling.

This is exactly what I thought about G.W. The American people, as a whole, continually challenge any tiny bit of faith I want to place in them.

[Chendizzle]

My concern with that question is more based on his theology degree. I'm guessing that his degree is based more on study of the bible, rather than comparative study with Mormonism, but I'd still want a presidential candidate with a degree in theology to have a relatively nuanced understanding of other religions. The "I think it's a religion... I don't know that much about it" part is as disturbing to me as the Jesus/Satan/brothers thing.

 

Funny thing is - Huckabee doesn't actually have a degree in theology.