was the Death Star attack an inside job?

[cryptique]

This is pretty funny.

 

Click the link above for the whole piece, but here's a teaser:

 

We've all heard the "official conspiracy theory" of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we've all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

 

Like many, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

 

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

[lamradio]

Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn

[Good Old Neon]

The answer to that and many other questions can be found here.

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lReJbboB10

 

(Or by searching youtube for "The Vader Chronicles.")

[Mr. Kinsley]

This is actually the most clear-headed conspiracy theory argument I've ever heard. Seriously. I'm going to write my representative and demand a recount!

 

 

...or something.

[bobbob1313]

I maintain that the trash compactor onboard the Death Star in "Star Wars" is implausible, unworkable, and moreover, inefficient.

 

The Trash Compactor Debate turns on whether the Death Star ejects its trash into space. I, for one, believe it does. Though we never see the Death Star ejecting its trash, we do see another Empire ship, the so-called Star Destroyer, ejecting its trash into space. I therefore see no reason to suspect that Empire protocol dictating that trash be ejected into space would not apply equally to all Empire spacecraft, including the Death Star.

 

The Death Star clearly has a garbage-disposal problem. Given its size and massive personnel, the amount of waste it generates

[trevor]

oh man. i wanna go watch a new hope now...

[bjorn_skurj]

I guess we were all too doped up on Quaaludes back in the '70s to come up with any of this.

[tongue-tied]

5. And what of the creature that lives in the trash compactor? Presumably, the creature survives because the moving walls do not extend all the way to the floor of the room, where the liquid is. After all, if the walls reached the floor, the creature would be killed each time trash is compacted. The design employed on the Death Star must allow the organic trash to filter down to the bottom, where the parasitic worm-creature devours it. But what happens when heavier pieces of non-organic trash fall down there? Would such trash not get wedged under the doors, causing them to malfunction? Do stormtroopers have to confront the creature each time they retrieve pieces of un-compacted trash?

 

I always assumed there was a pipe/drain somewhere below where the parasitic worm-creature could swim through when the compacting begins, so the walls would extend to the floor but the worm would escape the room when the walls started rattling. why such a pipe would exist, how much free roam the worm has of the death star, or why there's liquid in there at all, still fuels the mystery.

[cryptique]

Would not vents leading into any garbage-disposal system allow the fetid smell of rotting garbage, spores, molds, etc., to seep up into the rest of the Death Star?

Well, it is in the detention block.

 

 

 

_{Alternate response: Why do you think Darth Vader wears that mask all the time?}

[JUDE]

I think the real question is what percentage of Storm Troopers and other Imperial Military Personnel on the Death Star pee in the shower.

[bjorn_skurj]

I always assumed there was a pipe/drain somewhere below where the parasitic worm-creature could swim through when the compacting begins, so the walls would extend to the floor but the worm would escape the room when the walls started rattling. why such a pipe would exist, how much free roam the worm has of the death star, or why there's liquid in there at all, still fuels the mystery.

And in a vessel that was supposed to be new.

[Sir Stewart]

Turns out this theory was right.

[Bob_Roberts]

It all makes sense now . . .

[TCP]

Turns out this theory was right.

I was so confused when I saw the thread title... then I saw the date!

[Winston Legthigh]

 

 

Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter?

 

Because it wasn't a lightly armored TIE fighter. It was a TIE Advanced x1, specifically built to Vader's specifications. 

 

 

 

Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle?

 

Because his ship was damaged after another pilot collided with him. He left the scene after the Death Star was destroyed, not before.

[sonicshoulder]

Also and perhaps this is more of a poll type question but are Storm Troopers the worst soldiers of all time? Honestly has a Storm Trooper ever killed someone with a direct shot from a blaster? Their marching techniques are excellent but the minute the shit hits the fan and they have to run in any direction its like fish in a barrel. 

[Winston Legthigh]

Also and perhaps this is more of a poll type question but are Storm Troopers the worst soldiers of all time? Honestly has a Storm Trooper ever killed someone with a direct shot from a blaster? Their marching techniques are excellent but the minute the shit hits the fan and they have to run in any direction its like fish in a barrel. 

 

How bad is stormtrooper aim, exactly?

[TCP]

Also and perhaps this is more of a poll type question but are Storm Troopers the worst soldiers of all time? Honestly has a Storm Trooper ever killed someone with a direct shot from a blaster? Their marching techniques are excellent but the minute the shit hits the fan and they have to run in any direction its like fish in a barrel. 

PBS Idea Channel had a great episode on this:

 

http://youtu.be/-BYo9A-z9Pg