Lammycat Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I was able to lay in bed and listen to meditational/New Age shit this morning for a spell, which is always enjoyable.As it's Presidents Day, I got around to thinking "which President would win in the 'Best Overall' category for a chili cook-off?" Following is a bit winded, but bear with me: At first, I was thinking Teddy Roosevelt or U.S. Grant as they were hard as nails kinds of guys. Then I thought that they probably had more important things to do, like fighting in battles and kicking dogs and stuff. I considered William Howard Taft because of his girth. Big guy, probably nailed the cooking/eating thing reasonably well. But his administration was rife with turmoil. I concluded he wouldn't have had the nerves of steel or lucid mind frame needed to enter a chili cook-off. And besides, heft alone doesn't mean he knows squat about making a decent batch of chili, just that he eats too much of it. I finally settled on Chester A. Arthur. and the reasons are pretty simple: a Vermonter, so he probably made a lot of chili in his day because it gets cold up there and likely became quite good at it. He was also a teacher before becoming a politician, so I assumed he loved to learn. Learning how to make an award-winning chili is the key. Ultimately, though, his facial hair won me over. Chester A. Arthur had bad-ass facial hair. Kind of like a cleaned up Lorax. Any guy with facial hair like Chester Arthur has to be great at making chili. Which President do you peg as the most likely to win in a Chili Cook-Off and why? Assume all U.S. Presidents may enter. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jenbobblehead Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Thomas Jefferson. Because he grew a lot of his own veggies (including peppers) and had a nice farm. He wasn't afraid to experiment. He had his own relatively awesome university as well, which boasts a plethora of frat boys, most of whom love chili. Point-Jefferson. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deepseacatfish Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Definitely Jefferson. On top of having the right ingrediants the guy was a wine snob, so he must have had a good nose/palatte. Plus the dude wouldn't want to be shown up by some other lesser president. No doubt Jefferson would waste at a chili cookoff. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mountain bed Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Slick Willie, baby. Sooie would attest to the Arkansan appetite for chili, plus we can assume from previous comments by HRC that she's not one for puttering around in the kitchen. I totally envision him crafting some mind-blowing improvised recipe, complete with an apron that says "Kiss The Cook". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lammycat Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 I totally envision him crafting some mind-blowing improvised recipe, complete with an apron that says "Blow The Cook. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
caliber66 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Lyndon Johnson was from Texas. And he had three heart attacks, the last of which killed him. Winner. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jimmyjimmy Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 LBJ. Texan with a salty vocabulary and who probably had a way with seasonings.Not known for his grace or subtle nature. probably dug stuff on the spicy side.And think about it....put him in a dirty old white t-shirt, an apron and one of those old paper hats short order cooks used to wear and he would certainly look the part.EditLyndon Johnson was from Texas. And he had three heart attacks, the last of which killed him. Winner. Caliber beat me to it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jenbobblehead Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 LBJ. Texan with a salty vocabulary and who probably had a way with seasonings.Not known for his grace or subtle nature. probably dug stuff on the spicy side.And think about it....put him in a dirty old white t-shirt, an apron and one of those old paper hats short order cooks used to wear and he would certainly look the part.Edit Caliber beat me to it. i could never eat chili from a man who picked up his dogs by the ears. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poppydawn Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Grant. He had to do something to keep himself distracted while his underlings were being corrupt. Might as well make chili. He was married into the Busch family, giving him an ample supply of Budweiser, which is only good as an additive to chili and bratwurst. If you like hot, Truman. Down-right atomic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deepseacatfish Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I think this historical painting ought to settle any dispute here. The "good smells" lines coming off the chili indicate the absolute quality of the Jefferson recipe. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My vote's for LBJ. I considered William Howard Taft because of his girth. Big guy, probably nailed the cooking/eating thing reasonably well. But his administration was rife with turmoil. I concluded he wouldn't have had the nerves of steel or lucid mind frame needed to enter a chili cook-off. And besides, heft alone doesn't mean he knows squat about making a decent batch of chili, just that he eats too much of it.I suspect Taft knew his way around a bowl of chili ... and even if he didn't, that fat fuck sure would have made a go of it. I mean, come on, he was born in Cincinnati. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jimmyjimmy Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Issues w/ etiquette. I still love this.LBJ burps and evokes the term "bunghole" in this White House audio recording.clicky Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JUDE Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 **obligatory Frito Pie post** Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poppydawn Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I suspect Taft knew his way around a bowl of chili ... and even if he didn't, that fat fuck sure would have made a go of it. I mean, come on, he was born in Cincinnati. If he's the one who had the idea of putting cinnamon in the chili, he should have been assassinated. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Edie Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I think this historical painting ought to settle any dispute here. The "good smells" lines coming off the chili indicate the absolute quality of the Jefferson recipe. Now that's some quality photoshopping right there. Well done Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lammycat Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 I'm not getting the LBJ love. I bet the man never made a batch of chili in his life. He looks too coddled. And angry. I picture him getting 5 minutes into firing a batch up and then roundhousing the pot off the stove because Lady Bird forgot to buy him the appropriately-sized bell peppers he demanded. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poppydawn Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My husband wants me to add his vote for Teddy Roosevelt, who was a big, fat hunter. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bjorn_skurj Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Bully! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Griddles Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 LBJ would win the BBQ cook off but as for Chili I would have to toss my support behind Taylor. He lead the US in the Mexican American war, so he would know a thing or two about chilies. Being form the army he should know how to cook for lots of people, or at least direct that cooking. Also near the end of his life he packed on the pounds, so he knows how to eat. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jenbobblehead Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 this is my favorite thread this week. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 "Chili Con Queso and Tyler Too" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bjorn_skurj Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Polk, because his last name is one letter away from "pork." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
VenusStopsTrain2 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My vote has to go to Franklin Roosevelt...let's face it after he cheated on his wife and she lived separately....he was busy with being in politics..but then he ended up in a wheelchair..he had to be bored..and hungry..with lack of something to fill his free time he learned to cook...and cook well he did...Chili was his first love...it takes in his creative skill! Go Roosevelt. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tweedling Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I think this historical painting ought to settle any dispute here. The "good smells" lines coming off the chili indicate the absolute quality of the Jefferson recipe. Beautifully done! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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