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An apology and an explanation...


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in a hurry, doing a fly-by post so i will keep it to this:

 

xoxoxoxoxoxox!!!@@! stop by anytime, kevin! there is always at least one sprecher on ice just for you

:cheers :cheekkiss

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Skyflynn, I accept your apology, pending the receipt of your cover version of H

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Gutsy post, Kevin. A lot of people never get to the point that you're at of really knowing who they are and getting OK with that. Looks like you're one of the few who does. Hey, maybe people like that kind of person even more than an extrovert... you know - honest, sincere, real... all those things that actually matter.

Peace,

Vince

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Kevin, I read your initial post and wanted to reply on the spot, but was too rushed at the time to organize my thoughts. When you said this:

 

I think I fool people sometimes' date=' including myself, into thinking I'm an extrovert. I'm not and social interaction is something I usually have to pump myself up for and when over, leaves me exhausted.[/quote']

 

...it resonated so utterly with me. That is totally how I am, as well, and I know that usually people have no idea because that isn't how I come off.

 

Let me just say that I consider it such an absolute priviledge to have gotten to meet your fine self & even hug you. You are a treasure of a person. No apologies are necessary, and those of us lucky enough to know you are just glad that we do. :cheekkiss

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skyflynn, we don't know each other, but i have to tell you how great it was to read such an honest post by another introvert. i enjoy -- no, have to have -- a good deal of solitude. when it starts to seem reclusive, i wonder if something is wrong with it (or me) and this general worry about it hovers over a good many days. but there is no black and white here -- people dot the whole continuum at different points with their leanings, and if you or i or anyone leans toward the solitary, there's no judgment to be made. we just do.

 

i'm pretty sure i know what you mean about the fatigue after being sociable. it can be huge. even when the social thing is one-on-one with someone i genuinely care for and want to see, and even after it's over and was a wonderful and nourishing time, i'm still exhausted afterward! and have to recuperate with extra alone time. (and if it was a boring or bad time, you might as well hit me with a baseball bat and put me in a coma for a week -- thank god i have a really understanding, perceptive, and resourceful husband.) that fatigue can feel wrong, as if it shouldn't be there -- but there it is anyway. in the end, acceptance of whatever balance or non-balance you need in your life must be the key, i guess. i'm still working on it, after ALL these years, but want to thank you for giving me, a stranger, a bit of company in liking or needing solitude.

 

also thank you to beltmann, because that woman who wrote that article really gets it, and sounds free! can i have her phone number? oh wait, never mind.

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Although she had a very social childhood, as an adult Emily Dickinson basically withdrew from social contact because she found it draining. But she maintained many relationships via letters; perhaps she would have loved message boards.

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I could go on and on and I guess I already have but really it comes down to this, don't let me being a lousy friend in any way make you think I don't love and miss you like I do everything else. Terribly, that is. :wave

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are entitled to do whatever you want and need to do.

 

LouieB

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I always just assumed this place was the Wacko Introvert Support Group. That's why I'm here, anyway.

:lol i knew i liked you for more than one reason!

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Although she had a very social childhood, as an adult Emily Dickinson basically withdrew from social contact because she found it draining. But she maintained many relationships via letters; perhaps she would have loved message boards.

she's a great example. and she would have liked message boards but would have been careful about where she posted because of her delicate sensibility. imagine her magnificent contributions.

 

a magazine a few months ago had some author list his favorite five books of all time and tell why. "The Complete Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson" was on his list, and his reason? "Proof that leaving the house is overrated."

 

loved it, cut it out, and put it on my wall.

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Hey everyone.

 

I'm sorry I haven't been around in a while. I've had to take some time away to address problems in some of the other areas in my life where I have been failing, particularly in my relationships outside of my immediate family.

Specifically, one of my many faults is inconsistency in maintaining friendships. Despite having strong emotional ties to many people, I often feel reclusive. This reclusion is easy to mistake with indifference and as a result, I hurt people's feelings.

 

I think I fool people sometimes, including myself, into thinking I'm an extrovert. I'm not and social interaction is something I usually have to pump myself up for and when over, leaves me exhausted.

 

I'm posting this because I realize I've done the same thing with a fair number of you as I have in my life off-line. What kind of friend seems to run away and hide on a semi-regular basis? My kind, the crappy kind.

 

I realize this is total PM material and I could have just sent this to about 100 of you in general and about 10 of you whom I've really disappointed but then I'm back where I started, overwhelmed and under-equipped. And I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have the emotional wherewithal of a 14 year old boy but there it is. Clearly, I am a limited dude.

 

I could go on and on and I guess I already have but really it comes down to this, don't let me being a lousy friend in any way make you think I don't love and miss you like I do everything else. Terribly, that is. :wave

 

I had to recheck this post to see if maybe I had written it in an exhausted stupor last night. I won't go into any details (because they are probably only of interest to me), but I truly sympathize and relate completely to you post.

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Kevin,

 

I doubt you remember helping me out a couple years back with some b & p's, but you were/are a cool cat to deal with. Don't beat yourself up. You realize who you are and you're learning to deal with it. That's all part of life. As a fellow introvert, I could have written your post just as easily. Except for one thing, I'm so introverted that I find chatting on the internet too draining. Seriously. Look at how long I've been a member and my number of posts. I just like reading what ya'll have to say.

 

You're doing fine!

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