Is Your Boss a Schmuck?

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Since message boards are (more or less) anonymous, they can be a good place for people to vent. I did a little of this in another thread recently, but I failed to provide much background on my workplace or the owners therein. I hope people can use a thread like this to talk about why their boss or bosses are not the greatest.

 

By the way, some of the stuff I am posting here may sound over the top or, literally, unbelievable. It's true stuff: ya can't make this kind of thing up.

 

1) Leaving personal porn lying around. Yes, in the good old days before I worked here, legend has it that the owner had a stack of porno vids and a jar of Vaseline in the credenza in his office. One might find this kind of rumor hard to believe except for this: on at least two different occasions in later years, this same overweight, grotesque 50+ owner used a company camera to take pics of himself engaged in a variety of sexual shenanigans with various women. He left the camera with the creative director but "forgot" to delete the offending photos. I know this happened, because it was corroborated by three different female employees - all of whom were duly horrified - and also by a former co-worker who sent one to me to mess with my head. It worked: the image of my company's owner whistling through the wheat has been seared into my brain forever.

 

2) Leaving employee pay stubs lying around. Also sounds hard to believe, but before we had direct deposit, this maroon used to print out the pay stubs on the copier that we all use, and then get sidetracked and forget to pick them up. I once made the mistake of printing a document...and then finding out what someone else's salary was by going to pick it up. Not cool, dude. He has also left many similar documents lying around in the conference room in plain view.

 

3) Freezing a 401(k) plan and then keeping it frozen for a year. We used to have a 401(k) with company match. A great, even necessary thing in these days of no more pensions, right? Well, maybe not so much. If your boss is a pathological liar, borderline personality or sociopath, you might have a problem with that 401(k) thingie. Ours was humming along just fine until the owner froze it...and then refused to allow anyone to roll any of their funds over into an IRA for a good year or so. I guess he figured it was his money before it became ours. We tried to get the company who held it to do something, but apparently, the only way to get the funds was to either quit the company or sue our employer. Great options! Of course, when you can't put money into or take money out of a fund, you have no way to really track its value. Good times.

 

4) Bringing in a stripper. Ha, I almost forgot about this one. During his not-officially divorced days, Mr. Suave used to frequent strip clubs, and apparently he took a shine to one particular young woman. Hmm, didn't I see an episode of Behind Mansion Walls like this? Anyway, he decided to spring for new boobies for this lucky gal and he brought her into the office one morning to show her off to the creative director (a position then occupied by a 28-year-male). Said stripper then pulled up her shirt and showed off the new headlights. The guy was kind of embarrassed - after all, it is an awkward situation to be at your desk and looking at your boss's stripper chick's hooters - and I believe he tried to enthusiastically smile and say, Yeah, nice.

 

5) Giving everyone a pay cut. Yeah, I know it's got to be tough being a job creator and all that, but when you have a nice car, live in a nice house, and donate in excess of $20,000 every year to the local performing arts center, you've probably got a few pesos to rub together. Back when the economy tanked and we were all watching our retirement savings shrink and our housing values plummet, this douche bag gave every employee in the place a 5% pay cut...then added insult to injury by keeping it in place for a year or two and then only implementing cost-of-living increases going forward. So really, we have been behind ever since.

 

Of course, there are many, many more stories in a place like this, with a person like this. If it would not start a lawsuit, I would literally write a book. When people hear this stuff, they always ask, "Why are you still there?" Well, at mid-career, I have to say, It ain't for lack of trying!

[Lammycat]

So wait, you work at the Bunny Ranch?

[Mr. Heartbreak]

So wait, you work at the Bunny Ranch?

Ha! You would think so, right?

Really, about the only redeeming quality the guy has is that he likes to ... well, you know. I guess we all do, right?

[ih8music]

That's pretty crazy.  I've worked for some jerks in the past but nothing on that level.  That's a hostile workplace, especially for the female employees... I understand needing a job an all, but it's surprising that those folks (including you) are still there.

 

I'm still technically self-employed here (though I'm looking for a new traditional job) so I can't complain too much about my current boss.  Just wish he was more reliable I suppose

[Mr. Heartbreak]

 

That's pretty crazy.  I've worked for some jerks in the past but nothing on that level.  That's a hostile workplace, especially for the female employees... I understand needing a job an all, but it's surprising that those folks (including you) are still there.

In all fairness, the women who encountered the camera incidents were somewhat young and fairly cool, so I suppose they weren't too traumatized. Who knows? They used to laugh about how they were both holding the camera in their hands when they realized it was that camera...and then they went Ewww in unison and literally dropped it like a hot potato. Lol

 

Believe me, first opportunity I have for a comparable position pay-wise, I'm done.

[Hixter]

Since message boards are (more or less) anonymous, they can be a good place for people to vent.

It's 2:30 on a Monday afternoon in Florida, so I hope you didn't post that on company time/equipment/network unless you're the company's IT guy. I'd never badmouth my company while on the clock because I have no idea whether they're reading or storing the data that passes through the local network. Better to be safe than sorry ...

 

My boss is a good guy and I have no complaints at all. I work 27-hour weeks (salaried) and can take off any any days I'd like. It's by far the best job I've ever had.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Aw, thanks for worrying about me, Hixter. I didn't know you cared!

Don't worry, I have a smartphone. Also, I could be taking a personal day today.

[Hixter]

I would rather eat an iPhone than try to type your initial post on one. I'm lucky if I can make it through a paragraph on a portable device.

[bjorn_skurj]

So wait, you work at the Bunny Ranch?

I was gonna guess Screw magazine.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Probably very familiar to the owner.

[calvino]

Aw, thanks for worrying about me, Hixter. I didn't know you cared!

Don't worry, I have a smartphone. Also, I could be taking a personal day today.

Personal days! - I'd put up with all your bosses qualities if I got personal days, sick days, or vacation days.

My boss is okay.

[Lammycat]

I was gonna guess Screw magazine.

I kept picturing that creepy dude Dennis from the Ranch,,though, during the boss's description.

[bjorn_skurj]

Actually, Al Goldstein is way too old and not in charge of said publication. Dennis Hof does fit in to the age criteria.

[Winston Legthigh]

Personal days! - I'd put up with all your bosses qualities if I got personal days, sick days, or vacation days.

My boss is okay.

you don't get vacation days??

[Mr. Heartbreak]

I kept picturing that creepy dude Dennis from the Ranch,,though, during the boss's description.

No, this guy is more like a straight version of Elton John with black hair. Short and portly.

[John Smith]

I used to have a client that was a fast growing company selling software. They had a pension plan with 5yr cliff vesting. What this meant was the company would contribute every year for you and you would vest 0% every year until the 5th year when you would vest 100%. If you left the company before then all invested amounts were allocated to those people on the plan who were still participating. If you surveyed the employee records you would find that the owner and a couple of other key people had 5 or more years service. In effect all pension contributions were made based on everyone's wages but only these few were ever going to see a dime of it.

 

Schmucks? Maybe, a holes definately. The company is now out if business.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

I used to have a client that was a fast growing company selling software. They had a pension plan with 5yr cliff vesting. What this meant was the company would contribute every year for you and you would vest 0% every year until the 5th year when you would vest 100%. If you left the company before then all invested amounts were allocated to those people on the plan who were still participating. If you surveyed the employee records you would find that the owner and a couple of other key people had 5 or more years service. In effect all pension contributions were made based on everyone's wages but only these few were ever going to see a dime of it.

 

Schmucks? Maybe, a holes definately. The company is now out if business.

Wow. Speechless.

[Radiant Witch Face]

while I hope to be my own boss someday soon, I've been at my current job for almost 11 years and I have a great boss. we're the same age, she respects the job I do, etc.

 

however, the firm is cheap, cheap, cheap.

[NoJ]

My boss is great, absolutely no issues after 12 years.

 

Mr. Heartbreak, you need a new employer, pronto!

[calvino]

you don't get vacation days??

Use to get three weeks, before the housing market tanked (I'm in the trades) - small family business - working our way back up, though.

 

The sucky thing is my wife gets 4 weeks - the last two years, she used her vacation time doing side jobs in her field- which pay great - but we miss our trips over yonder, oh well.

 

As long I get a pay check and treated fairly, I never cared what my bosses did or made (as long as they were straight up and honest with me and the rest of the employees).

[uncool2pillow]

I like about 90% of what my principal does. There are things he does that aggravate me, but I take it in stride because I have learned that the grass isn't always greener. I've never truly despised any boss.

[Vacant Horizon]

Since message boards are (more or less) anonymous, they can be a good place for people to vent. I did a little of this in another thread recently, but I failed to provide much background on my workplace or the owners therein. I hope people can use a thread like this to talk about why their boss or bosses are not the greatest.

 

By the way, some of the stuff I am posting here may sound over the top or, literally, unbelievable. It's true stuff: ya can't make this kind of thing up.

 

1) Leaving personal porn lying around. Yes, in the good old days before I worked here, legend has it that the owner had a stack of porno vids and a jar of Vaseline in the credenza in his office. One might find this kind of rumor hard to believe except for this: on at least two different occasions in later years, this same overweight, grotesque 50+ owner used a company camera to take pics of himself engaged in a variety of sexual shenanigans with various women. He left the camera with the creative director but "forgot" to delete the offending photos. I know this happened, because it was corroborated by three different female employees - all of whom were duly horrified - and also by a former co-worker who sent one to me to mess with my head. It worked: the image of my company's owner whistling through the wheat has been seared into my brain forever.

 

2) Leaving employee pay stubs lying around. Also sounds hard to believe, but before we had direct deposit, this maroon used to print out the pay stubs on the copier that we all use, and then get sidetracked and forget to pick them up. I once made the mistake of printing a document...and then finding out what someone else's salary was by going to pick it up. Not cool, dude. He has also left many similar documents lying around in the conference room in plain view.

 

3) Freezing a 401(k) plan and then keeping it frozen for a year. We used to have a 401(k) with company match. A great, even necessary thing in these days of no more pensions, right? Well, maybe not so much. If your boss is a pathological liar, borderline personality or sociopath, you might have a problem with that 401(k) thingie. Ours was humming along just fine until the owner froze it...and then refused to allow anyone to roll any of their funds over into an IRA for a good year or so. I guess he figured it was his money before it became ours. We tried to get the company who held it to do something, but apparently, the only way to get the funds was to either quit the company or sue our employer. Great options! Of course, when you can't put money into or take money out of a fund, you have no way to really track its value. Good times.

 

4) Bringing in a stripper. Ha, I almost forgot about this one. During his not-officially divorced days, Mr. Suave used to frequent strip clubs, and apparently he took a shine to one particular young woman. Hmm, didn't I see an episode of Behind Mansion Walls like this? Anyway, he decided to spring for new boobies for this lucky gal and he brought her into the office one morning to show her off to the creative director (a position then occupied by a 28-year-male). Said stripper then pulled up her shirt and showed off the new headlights. The guy was kind of embarrassed - after all, it is an awkward situation to be at your desk and looking at your boss's stripper chick's hooters - and I believe he tried to enthusiastically smile and say, Yeah, nice.

 

5) Giving everyone a pay cut. Yeah, I know it's got to be tough being a job creator and all that, but when you have a nice car, live in a nice house, and donate in excess of $20,000 every year to the local performing arts center, you've probably got a few pesos to rub together. Back when the economy tanked and we were all watching our retirement savings shrink and our housing values plummet, this douche bag gave every employee in the place a 5% pay cut...then added insult to injury by keeping it in place for a year or two and then only implementing cost-of-living increases going forward. So really, we have been behind ever since.

 

Of course, there are many, many more stories in a place like this, with a person like this. If it would not start a lawsuit, I would literally write a book. When people hear this stuff, they always ask, "Why are you still there?" Well, at mid-career, I have to say, It ain't for lack of trying!

 

Capitalism at it's best.  Why we're all not rioting in the streets I do not know.  

 

I feel for you buddy.  I busted ass in grad school 2.5 times trying to get that dream job.  Alas, that dream job involves no work and no co-workers.  :-)

[Guest Jules]

Capitalism at it's best. Why we're all not rioting in the streets I do not know.

 

Rioting for what?

[Vacant Horizon]

Wow. Speechless.

 

Oh, that shit goes on all the time.  It's regular business.  

Rioting for what?

 

the revolution to end this irrational economic system we live in.  

It's 2:30 on a Monday afternoon in Florida, so I hope you didn't post that on company time/equipment/network unless you're the company's IT guy. I'd never badmouth my company while on the clock because I have no idea whether they're reading or storing the data that passes through the local network. Better to be safe than sorry ...

 

My boss is a good guy and I have no complaints at all. I work 27-hour weeks (salaried) and can take off any any days I'd like. It's by far the best job I've ever had.

 

where do you work man?  what profession?  just curious.

[Guest Jules]

My boss is more of a prick than a schmuck.