Gornok

I approve of this thread.

Sometimes.

This post pleases me.

Beastie Boys bring me many banana back in the day. Ad-Rock know how to treat a gorilla right.

Je suis Charlie avec beaucoup des bananes!

I have Roeo Stodart arriving at the predetermined time to tread on the splayed fingers of Christopher Cross and Marc Almond, who have been forced to sleep pegged face down to the floor beside my bed. The participants change weekly, but these two in particular make a pleasing harmony of screams.

I can make it happen. How many bananas you pay? I once make Judas Priest sing Secret Love by Doris Day. Better than you might think.

Everybody's Go Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey was written about me. Those boys generated plenty bananas. Good times.

I am very disappointed with the bananas from Will.I.Am’s smart watch. Period. Better make that two periods. HE WILL PAY FOR THIS.

I am always willing to confound and push through musical barriers in search of many bananas. Charlie Pride and Vanilla Ice were both my ideas.

Macy Gray and Brian May are on toilet detail today. As you might guess from the ‘volunteers’, I provide no tools and stipulate that toilets must be cleaned head first.

Willie Nelson really knows how to scratch my itch. Yeaaah, right there Willie boy. Ooooooooooooh.

Just finished a game of Twister - Gwen Stefani and T. V Smith versus a couple of baboons. I always fix the spin so that the musicians invariably get a faceful of red raw baboon ass. Poor Gwennie is traumatised. . That is my favorite emoticon.

I gave Jay-Z the two most important of his problems. A large banana quota of course, and a lower intestinal issue I can't be any more specific about in case Gornok Jr. sees this.

Liam Gallagher has his father’s eyebrows. I don’t see him or Toni Basil as often as I should.

You would be jealous of my juke box. It’s 40 metres wide and 12 metres tall – formed of 30 cubicles looking like the set design for Jailhouse Rock. An artist or band lives in each cubicle on a fixed 2 week rotation. When I want to hear something I type in a number and a giant metal arm pushes through that cubicle forcing them out of bed and onto the front performance area. Right now I think I’ll wake up Siouxzie Sioux and Budgie. The irony of Budgie living in a cage is not lost on me.

Just sometimes I feel a tinge of compassion, like when I saw the thousand yard stare on Tony Bennett’s face as I ordered him to work with Lady Gaga. Maybe I am getting old and soft. I need to watch out for that. Bananas don't grow on trees, if you know what I mean.

Today I'm holding a party to celebrate the fifth anniversary of Rita Coolidge becoming my live-in banana salad chef. She peels a mean banana. Lesley Gore is fronting the house band. However, in a little twist of my own imagining to her signature tune, all the guests will to cry when I want them to. This will happen repeatedly.

I'm thinking of getting Rick Rubin to give Neil Sedaka a career boost. Dear Neil gives me the best pedicures since Jim Morrison passed away. He deserves a reward.

I have a cousin, a gibbon, who had a crush on Iggy Pop. I 'arranged' for them to spend some time together. They looked a nice couple. But it got too much for him when she ran out of Veet and he escaped. I need to get him back here.

Today I am force feeding sprouts to Toots Hibbert. In a few hours he should live up to his name. It will probably sound more like honking though.

Every month I make Grandmaster Flash play chess just so he knows I see through his pretence. Don’t believe everything you read.

That review displeases me. Today I am making Viv Albertine and Kim Carnes do the stock check in the banana vault. They are not very good at counting, keep arguing, and have to keep starting again from the beginning. That is the point of the exercise.

I think it was on this day 10 years ago that I made Chubby Checker wear stripes. Horizontal. So he looked even chubbier.

Thank you to all for many bananas. In final, Bobby Alessi and Pat Benetar are champions. They make good grooming team I think. Henry Rollins is bad loser. This does not please me. I think I make him release tribute covers album to The Judds. There will not be many bananas but it will be worth it to see him suffer.