bjorn_skurj

Americans have always liked an underdog story, and while Israel may not seem like underdogs now, they definitely were back in the day. The committment and bravery of the Jewish freedom fighters in the days of Israel's War for Independence can't be overstated. Israel has consistently fought off every attempt by Arab nations, usually attempting in concert and even launching a sneak attack on Judaism's holiest day, to destroy it. (Americans also hate losers, and militarily, the Arabs have been losers. The last thing they won, I think, was beating the Ottoman Empire in World War I.) And the fact t

Wouldn't a Prozac capsule be the happiest object on Earth? Next to a sex toy?

That's why he's not only on meds, he is a med!

Oh, we may as well do that one ourselves, though I think we should have taken the IDF up on its offer to rescue the hostages in Tehran. They'd had experience with that and back in 1980, the entire U.S. military was zonked on Quaaludes.

Qu'est-ce que c'est un "quiet one with John Sams"?

Awwww. Thanks, man! I am genuinely touched.

It's OK. Theology is hard. If I hadn't listened to "Jesus Christ Superstar" every Easter for the better part of a decade, I would know as much about the Almighty as a broken coprolite.

Jesus allowed Himself to be crucified to redeem all of our Souls. Bob Marley allowed Himself to die to redeem all of our Spliffs. Did you miss that day in Sunday School?

Bob Marley was Jesus.

When my sister was in a Catholic hospital with a kidney stone once, her friend Burt brought her a pamphlet entitled "Jesus Was a Black Man." The only real live Segways I've ever seen were at the O'Hare AA terminal oncet.

In your country, is that considered more or less polite than ripping off a massive fart in public? And I hate it when fucking iTunes doesn't have an obscure 80s song that I really want to hear, like Captain Sensible's "Wot?" That's 99 U.S. cents they just lost out on.

He said captain, I said wot. He said captain, I said wot. He said captain, I said wot. He said captain, I said wot you want?

Crap! It's going to be a "flaming thermometer" day tomorrow!

And I do too.

How tired do you have to be before you can be hospitalized for "exhaustion," I wonder.

By 1987, Asia was a spent force creatively.

Chris Evert was a helluva tennis player, much better at what she did than that QB was at what he did. He should have been honored to have been compared to her.

Called "versatile." Some people are that, some have strong preferences one way or the other.

My friend, trust me, you do NOT want pix.

Probably not a bad guess, but you can never tell about that.

That IS good. Thanks!

"The owls are not what they seem."

Yeah, but is he a top or a bottom?

For some reason, when French people wish one another luck, they say "shit to the thirteenth power."

Bonne chance! Merde a la puissance treize!