bjorn_skurj

Is that a TYPEWRITER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Don't know. I am not qualified to determine the sex of burros.

OK, I admit it. I have occasionally coveted my neighbor's ass.

Hope it's nothing serious. I have to go to the doktor tomorrow. I have been avoiding him for the better part of a year.

If your art doesn't make you feel better, then what's the point? Or, is any song worth singing if it doesn't help?

I don't recall the world ending in either 1969 or 1986. The only thing that makes me think the Apocalypse won't come before my leather underwear gets back from the cleaners is that the Cubs are in the shitter. If they start playing well in the second half, start stockpiling food.

Nerd girls, whom I have a medium fetish for, are tough to date. You think nerd boys have self-esteem issues? Nerd girls have them to the thirteenth power.

I hope this guy finds a better outlet than amazon.com, but hell, amazon.com might be the best outlet these days.

It figures that a season in which the Mets are doing well may be cut short by THE END OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, man!

When you write your letter, make sure you put your name and phone number on it so it can be verified, or else they won't print it.

Like large penises, the English language is most effective when wielded wisely.

They say it skips a generation. (Seriously, I can't stand that "Sci-Fi Wasabi" shit.)

When I'm walkin' I strut my stuff, man I'm so strung out I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out

Bjorn's mom: "You haven't been here long enough to see all the weirdos hanging out on the corner of 47th and Central."

As a Kentucky native, I protest the stereotyping and all that shit.

I wish. Wednesdays are page-checking night in Bjornonia.

Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?

Yes, Edie you are correct. I'm preparing for the bird flu by living in the filthiest apartment in all of upstate New York. My immune system is running at peak efficiency.

Hasn't made the jump much from people to birds - just people who tongue-kiss infected birds. So stop Frenching birds, and everything will be okey-doke. (See also, Swine Flu panic, 1976.)

Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough.

You forgot "go fuck a tree."

Now THAT is the perfect housewarming gift.

Well, lived my life and never stopped to worry 'bout a thing Opened up and shouted out and never tried to sing Wondering if I'd done wrong Will this depression last for long? Won't you tell me Where have all the good times gone? Where have all the good times gone? Well, once we had an easy ride and always felt the same Time was on our side and I had everything to gain Let it be like yesterday Please let me have happy days Won't you tell me Where have all the good times gone? Where have all the good times gone? Ma and Pa look back at all the things they used to do Didn't have no money a

Sometimes, all that makes sense to me is red wine and Neil Young songs. "If I was a junkman selling you cars, Washing your windows and shining your stars, Thinking your mind was my own in a dream What would you wonder and how would it seem?"