Duck-Billed Catechist

No reference, really, unless you were in my mind. I read that post and thought "Nothing says loving like my new muffins--hoo, hoo," except I thought Charmin instead of muffins. Then I thought about the description of a fake news reportert squeezing Fred Phelps' son's "charmin". And then I did a good search for Charmin and that's what came up.

I was just messing with you. I am sure he would have no problem with saying Gary and ction's kids should hang out. It was an exaggeration for humorous effect.

It's probably ok to hate Hitler. Ask again later.

It's not nice to hate anyone.

No one hates Gary. We're just poking fun at his e-rage over indirect or direct suggestions about what should or shouldn't be, what is or what isn't for his kid. Example: I think once a goofy protester said something about Bush to Spawn at the post office and Gary ripped out the guy's heart with his bare hands.

I already have one. The joke's on him, except I think he wanted me to drive to New Jersey so he could do the deed.

He just called. He's furious and threatened to strangle me with the phone cord.

I think Gary is going to be very angry with you for suggesting who his kid should and shouldn't hang out with.

Are you sure it's not because he looks good in pink?

Now why would a minimum wage thread do that? Might have something to do with the fact that the estate tax was covered in the same bill.

Dun-da-dun. We have a weiner. Nice work, detective.

Ok, if we're counting playoffs, the White Sox had at least three in 2005 alone (Crede, Pierzynski, plus Podsednik in the world series). Maybe they're just comparing him with the teams that have the least in that amount of time.

You see, game-ending hits happen far too frequently for that stat to be true. Is it possible that it's a matter of it happening X-number of times per year? Perhaps David Ortiz has at least three game-winning hits in each of the past four seasons, coming out to 15 in all. Then the Yankees and Angels might be the only teams with at least three game-winning hits in 3 out of 4 of the last seasons.

It's still absolute nonsense. Off the top of my head, Pablo Ozuna had a game-ending bunt this year, AJ Pierzynski and Joe Crede each had game-ending homeruns last year. A.J. Pierzynski's walk-off homer capped a four-run ninth, rallying the White Sox past the Dodgers A.J. Pierzynski CHICAGO, June 18, 2005 - The Dodgers wish they had Eric Gagne on the mound during the ninth inning as the other Dodger relievers blow the game. Joe Crede "hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 10'th inning September 20, 2005, against the rival Cleveland Indians to preserve a precarious White Sox divisi

Ok, we've passed the point of contrived stats and reached the point of made-up and obviously false stats. There's only one team that's had 3 game-winning hits in the past 4 seasons?

Alex Rodriguez's "close and late" numbers this year. 57 AB. Are you ready? You sure? OPS .621.

That's an aspect of clutch, not a definition. Here's ESPN's criteria for Close and Late: Close And Late - results in the 7th inning or later with the batting team either ahead by one run, tied or with the potential tying run at least on deck. Obviously Ortiz is very good in these situations. This is what most people are saying--that he's great late in close games..and that's backed up by the stats. You're just arguing semantics re: what is clutch and what isn't. Here's an example: Is it more clutch to hit a homerun with two runners on base in a 10-3 game, or to hit a solo shot in the bottom

There's a situational/split stat on ESPN's site called "close and late". I'm not sure of the exact parameters of close and late, but I'm sure I could take a good guess. Anyway, Ortiz's stats in close and late positions this year: 60 ABs 14 RBI, 9 HR, .317 AVG, .379 OBP, .817 SLG, and 1.196 OPS. Small sample size, but significantly better than the rest of his ABs this year. In his eleven bases loaded opportunities he's hitting .364 .385 1.091 1.476. From 2003-2005, close and late, he's .326 .408 .724 1.132 in 221 ABs. As opposed to .297 .383 .600 .983 overall during that time. Pretty

The former. I'm surprised, Daniel, the first time I heard it I wanted to call you up and tell you it was something you would enjoy!

ABATT

The Orioles put the go-ahead run on (Jim Thome) in the ninth a couple days ago and faced the wrath of Ross Gload!

I suppose it's a fairly universal subject, but he uses the theme as the text. "You're beautiful...and I don't know what I'll do, because I'll never be with you." Let's impeach the president.

New York City? Get a rope.

Oh, was that guy you, too? I knew you were joking, but still.