Wilco & ex-GF

[Smokestack Joe]

has this happened to anyone?

 

I had a GF for 10 years and we would go see Wilco many times during our relationship, travel to different states to see them, etc....The relationship is over now and I still love Wilco and the music and the shows but it is different now, not the same enjoyment. It can't be shared with her anymore. anyone understand?

 

I know this is sort of a ridiculous topic but it is a reality.

The relationship has been over for almost a year so I am not in mourning or crying about it but musically-speaking, Wilco had a good role in our relationship.

[Queen Amaranthine]

Sorry to hear that, Joe! I see what you mean by the emotional connection between a relationship and the music.

 

I kind of have the opposite reality. My husband is adamantly NOT into Wilco, and neither are any of my friends (except one, my "Wilco friend" just for going to Wilco shows with, which we did often before having kids slowed us down). No one in my family would get it. In fact, i don't even mention to anyone except my husband about the rare occasions I go see the band live. So I've been more or less alone in my Wilco enthusiasm from the start. Thank goodness for this place.

[Sparky speaks]

I went to A Paul McCartney concert by myself about 20 years ago at the Meadowlands because the tickets were over $100 bucks and my wife didn't want to see him again. I had a blast. I moved as close to the stage as I could. When someone came for their seat I'd move to another empty one. I have cultivated several new Wilco fans who are friends or relatives of mine and seem to always have someone to go with. Most recently my son and nephew. Get a new GF and drag her along. If she doesn't like Wilco, dump her...

[Cam Jones]

I go to shows by myself all the time actually. Saw Wilco back in September by myself, I get wicked bummed that I have to drive there, grab a bite, see the show, and drive all the way home all by myself... But I still have a ton of fun because it's something I WANT to do.

 

Having said that, the first time I saw Wilco was with an ex-girlfriend... (I refer to her as my Vietnam. Sort of speaks for itself) and I saw them again a year later by myself. There was a little hole there, but I enjoyed it nonetheless because it's my favorite band.

[lost highway]

My relationship with Wilco has lasted longer than any of my relationships with women. Being There still reminds me of a camping trip with a girlfriend, several girlfriends back. AGIB reminds me of the beginning of a long relationship and WTA reminds me of the end. Maybe The Whole Love will someday remind me of my current relationship. Sooner or later I'm going to get married, or Wilco is going to break up..... neither sound like a good idea.

[hwllo]

Yeah, same happened to me, specifically with the song Remember the Mountain Bed. That was kind of "our" song and the first Wilco show we went together they played that and it was pretty awesome. We've since broke up a few years ago, but hearing that song still reminds me of her. Which is a shame because it's a beatiful song but every time I hear those opening chords all I can think of is "bitch" haha.

[IRememberDBoon]

same type of thing here and it sucks that if they play local i have to think about what im going to do/say when i see her at the show instead of just thinking 100 percent wilco

 

the last show like that all that crap melted away with the first note and i didnt even see her til after the show outside and she asked "did u make it inside"??

 

i just laughed and hugged goodbye again.

[Cam Jones]

Yeah, same happened to me, specifically with the song Remember the Mountain Bed. That was kind of "our" song and the first Wilco show we went together they played that and it was pretty awesome.

Same here. I always think of her when I hear that song. Similar experience- I waited in line for our first Wilco show and they played that song at soundcheck. My girlfriend at the time was off with her friends while I held our spot in line. She broke my heart shortly after.

Fuck.

[Bosco]

My story is a little different, I brought UT/Tweedy/Wilco into the relationship. I saw and got into Tupelo 1 1/2 years before I started dating my ex. She knew of the UT break up, she saw my excitement for Son Volt & Wilco, but she resisted, sure I dragged her to Wilco and Son Volt shows and she always enjoyed them, but when I'd play them at home no-go. So I stopped bringing her to shows, I spent over 10 years going to Wilco shows solo, she came to the Garden when they opened for Neil, and she had a great time again, so I put Sky Blue Sky on for the ride home, nope still no go. Then she went to the Hartford evening with Wilco show and something clicked, she loved it, she walked out of the show wanting to hit the next two shows and actually wanted to do Solid Sound (which she mocked in the car on the way up there). I was so excited, I finally got to share what was a huge part of my life with the one I love. We did Solid Sound, and caught some Tweedy shows, I was in heaven, we had tickets for Solid Sound 2 and I even booked the same site at the same camping ground we had for the first one (now isn't that romantic, for the Portland Tweedy show I booked the same room at the same B&B we stayed at for one of our anniversaries). I felt closer to her then I ever had, then just before last years SS she discovered she's really a lesbian and she asked for a divorce, I was crushed. I was determined to keep Wilco, I brought them into the relationship, I'm leaving with them damnit. I brought my boys to SS last summer, it was good for me, but still it hurt, my old profile pic was one (taken by a VC member I believe) of my wife and I kissing on the field waiting for the Jeff + show. The Jeff Vic shows were my first Jeff solo shows I've seen since the breakup, I'll admit I was brought to tears several times, luckily they weren't caught on tape. But I made it, between the Vic shows and the Central Park Wilco shows I'm back to going solo, and that's ok, I guess.

[IRememberDBoon]

you'll be fine Bosco my man. keep your head up and have fun with the ones who love you unconditionally and you love.

 

 

the "everything happens for a reason" is so simple and dumb especially when youre going thru it but it really is true.

 

things will get better and you will be happy as hell again. just keep movin bro

[Bosco]

you'll be fine Bosco my man. keep your head up and have fun with the ones who love you unconditionally and you love.

 

 

the "everything happens for a reason" is so simple and dumb especially when youre going thru it but it really is true.

 

things will get better and you will be happy as hell again. just keep movin bro

 

Oh I'll be fine, we're still friends. Right now I'm counting down the days until I get my Tweedy Signature Martin, should be early May.

[ginandcigarettes]

Haha, I have two relationships that are so entwined with Wilco that it's hard for me to listen to them without thinking of my exes. For me, Summerteeth will always remind me of a car trip when my ex and I took three days to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco (it normally takes 5 hours). We brought along London Calling and some Replacements album, but we were just getting into Wilco together and Summerteeth was just this revelation. When we finally got to see Wilco live it was right before Yankee came out and right after September 11th. After the show, my ex commented that it was almost a spiritual experience and that we might never fully understand it. She was right. We just drove around in the night until we finally came down enough to go home to bed.

 

She's married now. I don't know if she thinks about that evening; she's probably had a dozen just like that with her husband.

 

Many years later Tweedy was doing his pacific northwest tour. I had a friend living in San Francisco (I live in LA) and we decided that we would go see his shows in SF and then follow him to his San Diego and Los Angeles shows. I suppose no one does this kind of thing unless they like each other (which was obvious to everyone who wasn't me) so we quickly started dating. And just as quickly stopped. We went to the wedding of the mutual friend that introduced us, broke up the next week over the phone, and never saw each other again. I have the Sunken Treasure DVD -- we were pressed up against the stage at the Fillmore and I don't think I'll be able to watch it ever on the off chance that I'll see us together.

[TemplePilot]

I know exactly what you mean. Can't even listen to California Stars.

[JackStrawfromOttawa]

"(I refer to her as my Vietnam. Sort of speaks for itself)"

 

I am still chuckling over this line. I feel for you SmokestackJoe. My x GF(two words really) had introduced me to Wilco and subsequently she became embodied in seemingly every song as I was falling in love with her. And then every other song as the relationship was on the outs. But hey, why stop listening to Wilco because they remind you of her? You just have to reclaim Wilco back as your own. Get out and see them when you can, create your own new experences and have fun. Can't be living in the past, as hard and as difficult as that may be to avoid. Each song, when heard again, sometimes takes on a whole new meaning for you and puts things into a different light. It is the power and beauty of the Wilco music. Just be thankful your relationship with Wilco isn't over. Me, on the other hand, is very thankful that my x introduced me to this truly wonderful band. I am looking forward to many a splendid show in the future. Cheers.

[JUDE]

When my ex and I broke up I got Wilco and she got The Jayhawks. We have split custody of Ryan Adams.

[JackStrawfromOttawa]

Clearly you got the better settlement and thank God it wasn't split custody of Bryan Adams.

[Chinese Apple]

I had a GF for 10 years and we would go see Wilco many times during our relationship, travel to different states to see them, etc....The relationship is over now and I still love Wilco and the music and the shows but it is different now, not the same enjoyment. It can't be shared with her anymore. anyone understand?

 

Wow, ten years is a long time to be with someone. Many marriages don't last as long as that! I read somewhere once that the amount of time required to get over a relationship is equal to the amount of time you were in it. It may take awhile before you can listen to Wilco completely unfettered by the residual habits/emotions from your last relationship.

 

I imagine that listening to Wilco with someone new so soon after the end of a serious relationship would probably feel like you are having rebound-Wilco. It will be fun but you are not going to put your whole heart in it.

[The Inside of Outside]

Wow, ten years is a long time to be with someone. Many marriages don't last as long as that! I read somewhere once that the amount of time required to get over a relationship is equal to the amount of time you were in it.

Ten years is a long time. That is a lot of memories. "The amount of time to get over = the amount of time in" is an interesting concept.

[Smokestack Joe]

I listen to Wilco a lot still. That relationship won't end, ever....

[MareBear713]

I'm sort of on the opposite side of the gender divide. My ex introduced me to Wilco years ago, I got more into them after I heard more and more of their music. While a few of their songs reminded me of him for a while, I've gotten over it and just enjoy their music for what it is, and the new memories I've made since (seeing them in Prague, London, and around the US). After several years and being in the middle of heavily-male audiences, I thought I'd meet another guy who I could share a Wilco interest with...

... but after seeing all these comments, it looks like most of these guys already have girlfriends and wives at home - ones that just don't share the interest. Guess I should start looking elsewhere

[ponch1028]

Anything that means something special to us will always have an added level of significance with the people we share it with.

 

My wife makes fun of me at times for my deep love and connection to music, not just Wilco. She also doesn't share my deep love for all types of films, classics, foreign, etc.

 

But I've dragged her to a number of films and concerts that she had no interest in but went because she knew how important they were to me and had fun because I loved every minute of them. That's the sweet spot for us. I've stopped trying to convince her of the artistic merits of why I like this band or this film. It's enough that her love for me is deep enough that she'll share many (not all) of my film and music adventures with me and not spoil them.

 

In a few weeks, I've be going to a Def Lepard / Poison / Lita Ford concert with my wife and many of her girlfriends and their hubbies. I have absolutely no interest in any of them, but I've done my best for that past 4 weeks leading up to it to not bad mouth it. One bad concert does not equal 13+ years of going to concerts and films simply on faith and love - which is what my wife has done for me.

 

 

 

 

[thingfishp]

There's an Irish kid who comes over to the States for the summer and works for me in a summer camp. His greeting most mornings is, "There's more to life than Wilco, Georgie." Often followed by, "All Wilco makes you a dull boy." I love that smartass.

[stooka]

Luckily, my ex enjoys bands like Asia, Poison and Whitesnake.

[Bosco]

I'm sort of on the opposite side of the gender divide. My ex introduced me to Wilco years ago, I got more into them after I heard more and more of their music. While a few of their songs reminded me of him for a while, I've gotten over it and just enjoy their music for what it is, and the new memories I've made since (seeing them in Prague, London, and around the US). After several years and being in the middle of heavily-male audiences, I thought I'd meet another guy who I could share a Wilco interest with...

... but after seeing all these comments, it looks like most of these guys already have girlfriends and wives at home - ones that just don't share the interest. Guess I should start looking elsewhere

 

It is kind of hard to meet someone in the middle of a Rock Concert for some obvious reasons. Try showing up real early and hang out in line, you'll meet some huge fans, mostly great people and generally have an awesome time, who know you might just meet someone too. To your point, I'll admit though I was married for 20 years I did go to a large percentage of shows without the ex, a lot of the time because she had no interest and others because we couldn't find a babysitter.