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I will answer your questions


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Will you donate to the Foundation I just established? Its focus is to eradicate blue balls on a global level. Cash only, thanks.

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You sir, are a cold cold man. Have you not a compassionate bone in your body?

 

I have a very compassionate bone.

So I should have played professional baseball after all?

 

yes.  

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Is she really going out with him? Is she really going to take him home tonite?

 

 

You think with a little of that Miami medicine, I could play for the current New York Yankees, The Bronx Balmers?

 

I don't understand either of these questions.  one seems sports related and the other one looks like you're just quoting song lyrics.

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What is the deal with that one dude sticking his dick in peoples ears? 

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Speaking of song lyrics: what does Phil Mogg mean when he sings "Seventeen and a nature's queen ya, know what I mean"

I think he means that seventeen year old girls are the pinnacle of nature, you sick perv.

What is the deal with that one dude sticking his dick in peoples ears?

I don't understand how a penis would fit in an ear, so I'm stumped on this one as well.

Is you is or is you aint my baby?

I'm not your baby

Is this a remake of one of those old Ask Wookies threads?

No

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Is this thread more accurate than the Magic 8 Ball?

It is safer to inhale

When will summer arrive?

Summer is relative. You'll have to be more specific

Why during the period of 2002-2005 did the best Wilco concerts ever occur?

The best life never leaves your lungs.

Aren't we allowed to ask questions that have been previously asked in songs?

You are not not allowed

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Are you lonesome tonight, 
Do you miss me tonight? 
Are you sorry we drifted apart? 
Does your memory stray to a brighter summer day 
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart? 
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare? 
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there? 
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again? 
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight? 

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