Albert Tatlock Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I wonder does she have her lipsticks matched to fabric swatches?Not any more Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I do a pretty good version of B52s "Dance This Mess Around". Please send your measurements and three (3) semi-nude photos via PM (hi-res GIF format, please). I'll put in a good word during deliberation during the application process and if you make the cut, will fly you in to attend a band practice at 'the loft'...BYOB&P (bring your own bodypaint & pasties)...where you may be asked to wrestle the other finalists on a faux bearskin rug to the sweet sounds of Screamin' Jay Hawkins and/or Alphaville. GOOD LUCK AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Please send your measurements and three (3) semi-nude photos via PM (hi-res GIF format, please). I'll put in a good word during deliberation during the application process and if you make the cut, will fly you in to attend a band practice at 'the loft'...BYOB&P (bring your own bodypaint & pasties)...where you may be asked to wrestle the other finalists on a faux bearskin rug to the sweet sounds of Screamin' Jay Hawkins and/or Alphaville. GOOD LUCK AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU! I just saw your note on needing a bed. I happen to know Madonna's blow job coach for the bottle scene in 'Truth or Dare' and could probably get the bed she used duting 'Like a Virgin' on the VOGUE tour. I'll make some calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I think I need to start a New Wave band. We would call ourselves Dr. Huevos Mysterioso & the Hypnotic Eyes and wear matching velvet suits, fezes, protective eyewear and skinny ties. It would also require two go-go dancers w/ boomin' chests and asses, to sing the girl parts when we cover B-52's 'Lava' and 'Strobelight'. There would be fan particpation segment, where fan club members chosen by lottery prior to each gig would be able to decorate each dancer w/ body paint and glitter ala Laugh-In and/or be impregnated by the drummer on-stage before the encore. Instead of traveling by tourbus, we would arrive in each stop by a rickshaw pulled by our manservant/bodyguard/personal chef/former sumo, Mr. Rangoon. To maximize our time on the road, we would also aid local law enforcement in solving mysteries and/or hate crimes at abandoned amusement parks. Then, for the last gig of the tour, we would challenge Wilco to a battle of the bands using Texas barbed-wire rules, where the winner would be allowed use of the other band's loft or the opportunity to shave the losing bands heads on a live pay-per-view from the rock'n'roll McDonald's. As that's pretty much a watertight mission statement, i'll accept investor funding via paypal or monthly booty calls to be collected over the next two years.This is the kind of thing I hope to find on the craigslist job page everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
M. (hristine Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Not any more Right. Sorry. I just saw your note on needing a bed. I happen to know Madonna's blow job coach for the bottle scene in 'Truth or Dare' and could probably get the bed she used duting 'Like a Virgin' on the VOGUE tour. I'll make some calls. Keep me posted on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. Peel Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I think I need to start a New Wave band. We would call ourselves Dr. Huevos Mysterioso & the Hypnotic Eyes and wear matching velvet suits, fezes, protective eyewear and skinny ties. It would also require two go-go dancers w/ boomin' chests and asses, to sing the girl parts when we cover B-52's 'Lava' and 'Strobelight'. There would be fan particpation segment, where fan club members chosen by lottery prior to each gig would be able to decorate each dancer w/ body paint and glitter ala Laugh-In and/or be impregnated by the drummer on-stage before the encore. Instead of traveling by tourbus, we would arrive in each stop by a rickshaw pulled by our manservant/bodyguard/personal chef/former sumo, Mr. Rangoon. To maximize our time on the road, we would also aid local law enforcement in solving mysteries and/or hate crimes at abandoned amusement parks. Then, for the last gig of the tour, we would challenge Wilco to a battle of the bands using Texas barbed-wire rules, where the winner would be allowed use of the other band's loft or the opportunity to shave the losing bands heads on a live pay-per-view from the rock'n'roll McDonald's. As that's pretty much a watertight mission statement, i'll accept investor funding via paypal or monthly booty calls to be collected over the next two years. Al will be on the next plane to Chicago. You won't be disappointed. He's already got the wardrobe, vintage 1985. If you need extra skinny ties or checkered sunglasses he'd be happy to oblige. Oh, and pins. Lots and lots of pins. Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 This is the kind of thing I hope to find on the craigslist job page everyday. Should this band ever become reality, there are two spots reserved on the roster for both yourself and Carlos Von Carlos. Even if you don't play an instrument, you can skank on stage like the guy from the Bosstones, play moroccas like Bez from the Happy Mondays or bring a mirror on stage for me to primp mid-show like Jerome from the Time. If that doesn't work, you can pick girls out of the audience for the band to play Twister w/ at the afterparty and Spelling Bee. Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Al will be on the next plane to Chicago. You won't be disappointed. He's already got the wardrobe, vintage 1985. If you need extra skinny ties or checkered sunglasses he'd be happy to oblige. Oh, and pins. Lots and lots of pins. Noted, but there will be no pins (pledge or otherwise) on our uniforms. Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Keep me posted on that.Hourly updates would be appreciated. Should this band ever become reality, there are two spots reserved on the roster for both yourself and Carlos Von Carlos. Even if you don't play an instrument, you can skank on stage like the guy from the Bosstones, play moroccas like Bez from the Happy Mondays or bring a mirror on stage for me to primp mid-show like Jerome from the Time. If that doesn't work, you can pick girls out of the audience for the band to play Twister w/ at the afterparty and Spelling Bee. Every band needs a Jerome. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Should this band ever become reality, there are two spots reserved on the roster for both yourself and Carlos Von Carlos. Even if you don't play an instrument, you can skank on stage like the guy from the Bosstones, play moroccas like Bez from the Happy Mondays or bring a mirror on stage for me to primp mid-show like Jerome from the Time. If that doesn't work, you can pick girls out of the audience for the band to play Twister w/ at the afterparty and Spelling Bee.EXPERIENCEMy "in the band" performance history includes:• a full-on Elvis impersonation* at my high school talent show, running up and down the aisles throwing candy and gum to the audience as the band played "The Phoenix" by The Cult and "Symptom of the Universe" by Black Sabbath. *"Aloha from Hawaii" eagle jumpsuit Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Every band needs a Jerome. Words to live by and my new sig, thank you. EXPERIENCEMy "in the band" performance history includes: Link to post Share on other sites
wheelco Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 best cheese stache in the NBA now Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. Peel Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Noted, but there will be no pins (pledge or otherwise) on our uniforms. I thought maybe the Go-Go dancers could use them as pasties on their costumes. Link to post Share on other sites
embiggen Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 best cheese stache in the NBA now you've changed man. Link to post Share on other sites
wheelco Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 you've changed man.I do NOT sport a cheesestache, thank you Link to post Share on other sites
embiggen Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 I do NOT sport a cheesestache, thank you this is what I mean: Link to post Share on other sites
wheelco Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 this is what I mean: OH!!! The FOX on my head, you mean . . .well, I'm sure that can be easily explained, see the BAT was attacked by a FOX and then I beat it to a pulp and stuck it on my head Shaman style to get in touch with my inner soul Link to post Share on other sites
embiggen Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 OH!!! The FOX on my head, you mean . . .well, I'm sure that can be easily explained, see the BAT was attacked by a FOX and then I beat it to a pulp and stuck it on my head Shaman style to get in touch with my inner soul do you have healing powers? Link to post Share on other sites
wheelco Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 do you have healing powers?sugah, I got powers you wouldn't believe and I've got this little chant dance thing going and ooops, gotta go, time to work like a bounced check, I shall return . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Guest baseball bobblehead Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 i often wonder if Veronica Chambers is a client of Wheelco's to whom he bills lots of hours. Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I thought maybe the Go-Go dancers could use them as pasties on their costumes. Kinky, but wouldn't that hurt unless they're already pierced?! We could soooo play your wedding... Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I actually broached a sensitive subject in a conversation yesterday by saying "Not to start a sh*tstorm, but..." Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I actually broached a sensitive subject in a conversation yesterday by saying "Not to start a sh*tstorm, but..." I did that at work last week, apparently inappropriately, because my co-worker replied "Well I don't think it will cause a shitstorm..." Link to post Share on other sites
Spawn's dad Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I've actually said to someone why do you hate wilco? to be met with and a muttered 'you're weird' as they walked away Link to post Share on other sites
Reni Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 this morning I was waiting for the bus and as it approached me, it slowed down, I went to get on it and.....it drove away. I wanted to throw my purse at it, but of course didn't want to lose my free coffee coin or my ID. I was not happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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