pleasebepatient Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I've listened to Wilco since '95. I consider them my favorite band and I've been to many a show. I've enjoyed reading posts here and gathering info from the many informed Wilco fans from all over for quite a while. It wasn't until recently that I decided to register and post something. You see, I've recently been battling depression and I don't know why. I have a beautiful wife and two darling daughters (attached is a picture of the 8 month old for proof, cute huh?). I'm very fortunate, but I feel like I'm losing control sometimes even though there's no real reason to. I always feel guilty for the effect that my mood has on my wife, girls, and friends which only compounds the situation. Anyway, enough about me...this is about the experience I had listening to Please Be Patient With Me for the first time. I mean, have you ever heard a song that spoke directly to you on a really deep and personal level? I thought I had and apparently I was wrong. I've played in 4 different bands with small local followings and assumed I knew what music meant to people, hell even to myself over the last 28 years. I put my girls to bed with My Darling, I serenaded my wife with Sunken Treasure (among others) when we were dating, I thought I had a connection with Wilco's music before. Now after listening to PBPWM I feel like I maybe haven't really connected to music like I thought I did. I guess I've had songs that have partly spoken to me, songs that have spoken to me on a superficial level, songs that made me feel warm and fuzzy about love in a shallow sense. It's completely changed my perspective and has definitely been an eye opener. I'm sure there are many others out there that know what I'm talking about and I hope that everyone can connect at this level eventually (and I don't mean that in a condescending way at all). I'm not proud of myself for connecting with this song the way I do. It basically took for me to be really f'ed up in the head, but I can't thank Jeff enough for putting into words and music the way I feel inside. This is exactly what the "real me" wants to tell my girls while I figure out how to deal with what I'm going through. I'm moved to tears every time I hear it (sometimes a little, sometimes A LOT). I immediately figured out how to play it so I could play it to my wife with it when times got tough. I mean, seriously, you know? Now this is all just my opinion, coming from a guy who's in a tough spot right now (like I think Jeff may have been when he wrote it). This song is not an excuse to be an ass; this song is a cry for help, a pleading to "just hear me out". One of the things that really touches me is that it's so utterly and completely personal. It's a simple song but extremely complex at the same time. The solo wails and the notes bend just right to match the tenderness. He's completely revealing himself (something I think none of us want to do, even to those closest to us). The feeling and inflection in Jeff's voice is real and palpable. It's raw, especially the "like we've discussed" stanza (almost like he's sick of himself and can't believe that he keeps repeating the same behavior). He just wants to give the listener a reminder and ask for forgiveness and understanding. I've felt like getting this down since I heard the song for the first time because I hoped it would be therapeutic and in a way I feel like I owe it to Jeff to open up like he does as payback (albeit anonymously on the internet, but you get my drift). I know I've rambled a bit but trust me, I could go on and on and on. I think this is what Jeff intends with his music. He's talked about it at the shows (especially to the asses who pay for a ticket, come, and then talk the whole time), it's about making a connection; sharing an experience. I just want him to know that I can't thank him enough for the gift he's given me with this song. I don't know if it's just me but I feel like this is Wilco's best album to date. It has elements of everything before it. It flows perfectly from song to song opening with Either Way or like Please Be Patient With Me preceding Hate It Here. But that's the thing, I FEEL like this is their best album. I don't think it is, I FEEL it is. The way these songs make me reflect on what life is and what relationships mean and how I fit in is embarrassing almost. As lame as this sounds I was thinking that maybe I would ask Jeff to dedicate it to me at an upcoming performance but I think he already did just by writing it. And if you're still with me, thanks for being patient and reading this whole thing. It means a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jenbobblehead Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 come again? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's an amazing song, and I think it'll be one of the ones that people talk about from this album ... once it's released. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deepseacatfish Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I still haven't heard the album yet... That being said, I'm glad that you and this song found each other. I had/have a very similar connection to "Radio Cure" the first time I really got into it things suddenly clicked, it was as if I had been hearing the song and the words in my head and it was just there. Wilco is an amazing band, Jeff is an amazing writer, and the beauty of music is that it can become part of anyone. Depression can be rough and confusing, I know from personal experience, but music is one of the great places to both lose and find yourself at the same time and sometimes it just takes a song to help you figure something out or get you through the day. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bjorn_skurj Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I connect to a bunch of things on this album, the first track especially. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KevinG Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Your post made me think of this Dilbert I saw today I don't want to be mean or troll here, but for Christsakes, I couldn't get through your message. Paragraphs are great things. Brevity as well. I mean from what I can tell is that this song speaks to you, which is great. I am glad that this song has helped you with your depression and all that. I am glad that you have found an outlet in this forum to put your thoughts together. Depression is a terrible thing if anything you do helps that depression great. You have a beautiful child, for one do your best to connect with that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SlowBurn68 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Patient - Your wife asked me to tell you to make sure you get the kids to bed soon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wendy Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 come again?http://forums.viachicago.org/index.php?showtopic=28363 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mountain bed Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Pleasebepatient: First off, welcome to VC! It's no coincidence that Jeff's music has affected most of us so much that we're all here in the first place. There are many wonderful people here, again ( I think ) a reflection of Jeff & his music. You know this band..hell, you've listened to them longer than I have, so don't be a stranger. This place is big enough that you can find a good debate on every topic under the sun, but small enough that it truly feels like a community. Depression is a deeply personal thing. Many many people here ( myself included ) occasionally struggle with this. In this day & age, it's hard not to get down about the world in general. One thing is for sure though: music can make tough times a little more bearable. You've got an adorable kid there. It's amazing how much joy can come from the kiddos. Just hang in there man. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
winter party person Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 happy for you. I think your connection to the song is an example of why music is the greatest art from. I had a similar thing with Reservations. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pleasebepatient Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 Wow that was quick. Both good posts and thoughtless and mean-spirited ones. I never realized that all I have to do is connect with my children. Who'da thunk it? Problem solved. I mean, seriously? Check it out, I totally made a new paragraph. (The original post was missing paragraph breaks that have since been added) Whoa, there's another one! I think the reason the post came out the way it did was because it was more a stream of consciousness, straight from the heart type rant. I know it's hard to get through, just like what I (and obviously many other people) am going through right now. But the post wasn't intended for you as much as it was for myself (selfish, I know). Thanks for the support to those who offer it. I have met many great people throughout my Wilco experiences and I appreciate the heartfelt comments. It is great to connect that way and I look forward to doing so more in the future. Thanks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WaronWar Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Your connection to "Please Be Patient With Me" once again proves that the greatest thing about music or any art form is the personal connection the listener, reader, observer, or any audience has with the piece of art. Good luck with your battle with depression. I and most likely thousands of others could say it is hard, but something that helped me and always does is friends, family, talking about my problems, and of course music. I would say that my favorite Wilco song during rough times is most likely "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" or "Radio Cure," and I am guessing Sky Blue Sky the album (once it is released) will also be helpful because of the hope within it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gogo Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Wow that was quick. Both good posts and thoughtless and mean-spirited ones. I never realized that all I have to do is connect with my children. Who'da thunk it? Problem solved. I mean, seriously?PBP, I don't think anyone here means to belittle your problems. A lot of VCers take great joy in their children, and I believe that they were truly just encouraging you to take what comfort you can in your family. As for some of the other comments... yes, the paragraph breaks are a nice touch , but some folks need to learn to phrase their "constructive criticism" a little more constructively. And some just need to grow up. There are lots of friendly people around here, I hope that you'll join in the conversation and continue to let us know how you're doing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tugmoose Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Over 20,000 served here. That ain't hay. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
froggie Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 a great man once said "music is my saviour" certain tweedy lyrics have hit me deep down as well - been there and done that. welcome along! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Rufer Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Oh, but my blessings get so blurred,Like the sound of your words,You're going to need to be patient with me. I find it hard to believe anyone could not feel that. But who wouldn't try to say it or process it with hundreds of other words and still fail compared to this. Ridiculously good stuff. Thanks for posting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Stewart Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's funny, just the other day I was listening to this song and it struck me that it's not a plea or and excuse, but a demand. "You're gonna need to be patient with me." He knows they have no choice.It really is a brilliant tune. "I'm this apple, this happenin stone....when I'm alone..." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
awatt Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Weird. I'm listening the song right at this moment, right as I entered and found this thread.... Kismet? And now I'm listening to Hate it Here, so I'll make my way to the appropriate thread. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spawn's dad Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Weird. I'm listening the song right at this moment, right as I entered and found this thread.... Kismet? you guys should do it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quarter23cd Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I had/have a very similar connection to "Radio Cure"Same here. That song struck an eerie chord with me when I first heard it. To the original poster--having been through (and sometimes still going through) something similar, I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. And probably part of the reason Wilco has maintained its spot atop my huge collection is that I definitely feel a strong connection with many of their songs. Whether real or imagined--I have no idea what's in Jeff's head or what he has gone through--I feel a certain kinship and am grateful that he has been able to express thoughts and ideas that I sometimes felt nobody else understood.(which usually turns out to be a false assumption, but I guess its good to feel validated by somebody else expressing the same thought, too) Anyway, I read a song like Please Be Patient With Me less as a cry for help, but with its calm demeanor it feels more like an expression of gratitude for sticking with him through tough times and a reminder that there will inevitably be rough patches ahead from time to time and he's asking for continued patience as he gets through those. And, again, I'm almost definitely coloring my interpretation with my own experiences and hearing in from where I'm at in my life and going "Yeah, I can relate to that." Whether that's what he was thinking when he wrote it, I know not.(nor really care, I suppose) As for whatever it is you're going though, I wish you the best with it. Glad you've got a family there who can help you through. Best of luck, and happy listening. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jules Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 depression warrants medical attention. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quarter23cd Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Also true. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pleasebepatient Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 Thanks for all the support. It is truly appreciated and gratifying to connect with other fans like this. This thread kind of reminds me of a debate/argument that I had with a friend once about the effect and personal experience that music has on the listener and artist. We basically went back and forth about the fact that you can't make a list of the greatest bands ever because everyone's list would be different (just like a list in this forum of "best Wilco songs ever" would be different between each person). Anyway, we respectfully agreed to disagree. My stance was, and is, that I could meet a guy from Germany that absolutely without a doubt believes that The Hoff is the best singer of all time (think Norm MacDonald from Weekend Update on SNL). Where I might think otherwise, I would have no way to prove HIM wrong or convince him otherwise. It's his opinion, his perception. My friend said that you can quantify it with record sales but I totally disagree with that. Just because a majority thinks something is great doesn't necessarily make it great (I could make a political parallel here but I think that's a little obvious). Anyway, I'd be interested to see where you all weigh in. I thank those who offer words of encouragement, it means a lot. And things are slowly getting better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quarter23cd Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's his opinion, his perception. My friend said that you can quantify it with record sales but I totally disagree with that.I doubt you'll find too many people around here espousing the album-sales-as-measure-of-greatness approach. All art is inherently subjective, which is kind of what makes it awesome. The resulting conversations about what is "better" are sometimes interesting, but more often annoying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Rufer Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Oh, but my blessings get so blurred,Like the sound of your words, Okay, I'm quoting myself, misquoting these lyrics. Turns out it really goes: Oh, but my blessings get so blurredAt the sound of your words Slight change but big difference. I liked the sentiment of my misquote better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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