replacements75 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Ok so here's my dilemma. Even before I heard Wilco was playing Spain this Spring my Fiance and I decided that we would be going there for our Honeymoon and our dates correspond with the dates that Wilco will be there. So of course I immediately wanted to order tickets but then I realized that 1) my wife to be is not quite as huge of a Wilco fan as I am and 2) maybe seeing Wilco while on our Honeymoon isn't quite how she pictured us having our Honeymoon. But to me it just seems like a completely fortuitous coincidence and that we really should not pass up this opportunity. It looks like they would be in Barcelona on what we could make the last day of our stay and I think that would be an amazing way to end our trip. My question for you and perhaps your wives and husbands or significant others, is wether or not this is too much? Am I too crazy to even suggest this to my wife to be? Or should she be cool with this? I've already asked her to do crazy things for Wilco like when we went to visit her parents/ family for Thanksgiving outside of Chicago and Wilco was playing that same weekend, we spent the night in Chicago to go see them. In my defense it wasn't on Thanksgiving, it was the next night. So what does everyone think? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moss Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I think your asking the wrong group! Hah! You have to do Wilco but figure out something special to do for her to balance it out. It has to be too early in your relationship for her to find your love of Wilco annoying like it will become later on. Maybe she will think it's "Cute". Good Luck. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Three dollars and 63 cents Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 The whole tour? Too much. One show? That doesn't sound unreasonable, especially since your trip has already been planned and the date just happens to coincide. I'd suggest spending the rest of the trip loving the fact that you're in Spain with your new wife and not talking about how much you can't wait for the show, though! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dondoboy Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I remember the story (maybe in the Kot book) where Jeff wanted to bring a guitar on he and his wife's only vacation in Hawaii and she didn't like that idea at all. And that was just a vacation. Tread lightly my friend. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
replacements75 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Yes I understand asking this on a Wilco site is like asking a bunch of starving people if I should eat or not. Of course I would be completely happy with one show. I mean its my Honeymoon too and we have both never been to Spain. We are incredibly excited about the trip. I just don't want it to seem like its the only reason that I'm excited about it. I mean honestly I would love to have this happen but really I can't wait to explore Spain with my new wife. And I think she already thinks my love of Wilco is cute but I don't want her to think its tiresome. Not long after we started living together I left her for a week to go to last years Residency on my own because she couldn't take the time off. I remember the story (maybe in the Kot book) where Jeff wanted to bring a guitar on he and his wife's only vacation in Hawaii and she didn't like that idea at all. And that was just a vacation. Tread lightly my friend. Yeah Dondoboy, that's exactly what I am worried about. Good memory, I remember that story too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Speed Racer Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Are the shows actually going to sell out? Maybe that can be your deal: ask her now if she'd consider - once you're there - going. The day of, if could be that you're really caught up in something else. Wilco comes through town pretty frequently; Europe doesn't. I love Wilco, but this doesn't strike me as all that different than wanting to see the opening night of Lord of the Rings on your honeymoon. If you get it. you get it; if you don't, you're just paying airfare to see something you could see in Topeka. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gewee Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Are the shows actually going to sell out? Maybe that can be your deal: ask her now if she'd consider - once you're there - going. The day of, if could be that you're really caught up in something else. Wilco comes through town pretty frequently; Europe doesn't. I love Wilco, but this doesn't strike me as all that different than wanting to see the opening night of Lord of the Rings on your honeymoon. If you get it. you get it; if you don't, you're just paying airfare to see something you could see in Topeka. Go to the show and if she is not into it, find something that she'd like to do that might not be your cup of tea. Once in a lifetime chance, and she should understand. Just make sure she's taken care of on whatever she'd like to do otherwise... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky speaks Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 A great opportunity to let her know who's boss....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Speed Racer Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Go to the show and if she is not into it, find something that she'd like to do that might not be your cup of tea. Why does he have to not enjoy the activity that's for her? In that case, I'd be more pissed that he started off the marriage with score-keeping than starting off the marriage with Wilco. Whatever works for them, of course - which is why asking us isn't going to get him anywhere. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Three dollars and 63 cents Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 It's worth keeping in mind that they're going to be touring extensively in the U.S. this summer. Would a show in Spain really be all that different than a show in the U.S.? I have a hard time imagining I'd ever marry someone who wasn't willing to put up with my love of live music, which is why I answered the way that I did, but if it's going to interfere in any way with your honeymoon, it would be stupid to do it. I also don't think going without her would be a good idea; if she doesn't want to go with you, wait until you're home to go to a show on your own or with friends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HungryHippo Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 sounds a lil too risky to me. like someone else said, if you tell her about wanting to see Wilco while there, she may think that you're more interested in seeing them than enjoying your honeymoon with her. I'd play it safe and not go. if you decide on not going, don't let it get you down, enjoy your time with your wife. afterall, honeymoons only happen once, Wilco happens often. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
c.lo Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I saw Wilco on my Honeymoon! We had decided to take our Honeymoon months after our wedding (were married in December), but we couldn't agree on where to go. He wanted to go South - Dominican or Cuba, but the thought of spending a week on a beach would bore me to death. I wanted to travel somewhere exciting & sight-see. I eventually suggested a road trip & he was into it. I noticed one day the line up for Lollapalooza (Malkmus, Wilco, Kanye - my favorites - but heavily played up Radiohead & Rage Against the Machine which are his) & suggested a full week in Chicago & he went for it! Yes, we could have seen Wilco in Toronto, they had played here just a few months before, but it made our trip for me (plus standing a few feet away from Jeff for his solo show). It was easily the best time we've both ever had, the great music, the wonderful city, fabulous people. Best vacation ever. You're going to be in Spain anyway, this could be the icing on the cake! Make sure you do plenty of things she wants to do, tours or shopping or whatever, so suggest the concert to her & see what she says. If she says no, it's no & drop it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
replacements75 Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 So far all the advice has been good and basically you all echo most of the voices in my head that suggest its not the worst idea in the world. My Fiance totally understands my love of live music and indulges me in it quite often. I don't think that it will actually be a problem, I just don't want it to seem like thats my motive for being in Spain. I know I am just being paranoid because we had decided on it long before I heard about Wilco being there. I think I just needed some reenforcement that it wasn't the most terrible idea that anyone had heard of. We totally agree with C.Lo because we too were considering the tropical beach vacation but felt that after about 3 days we would be looking for a little more to do than lounge on the beach. This is actually why we thought Southern Spain might be nice because we could actually hit the beach too but we could also see some sights that we are interested in seeing. And since neither of us have been to Spain we thought it would be a great place to explore together. Wilco would be the icing on the cake and I don't think it will cause any friction. Its just that, you know, I don't want to seem selfish. And I may as well let her know who's boss as Nudie suggests. I'm only kidding but it is good to let her know that music is important to me and I think that its a beautiful thing to share with the woman I love. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RaspberryJam Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I say let her read this thread and she what she thinks then. She'll see how respectful you are being of her needs and wants. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnes Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 When do you go on the honeymoon? I would just talk to her now and see how she feels. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sunken mountain Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 As a long time happily married woman my only advice is :if you don Quote Link to post Share on other sites
remphish1 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Tell her how much it would mean to you for both of you to catch a show. I think she wouldunderstand 1 show? My wife was for seeing a concert when we were in Australia on the honeymoon and she is not a big concert person. She agreed it would be a good cultural expierence. Unfortunatley nothing exciting was going on tour wise when we were in Australia. Oh well... If you do go to the show make a night of it. Get some tapas, port, wine , cheese whatever and then head to the show! An additional two pieces of advice. If she says no to the idea don't push it!! Also, be prepared if you force her to go and she ends up going you will never hear the end of it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Party @ the Moontower Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Hey, if she won't go I'll take her place. A marriage must include Wilco. You don't wanna life of sneaking down to the basement to get a Wilco fix now do you? Just think about it, I can get off within a days notice Would a show in Spain really be all that different than a show in the U.S.? Yes! Every show has a different energy. I wouldn't pass this up!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
W(TF) Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 When do you go on the honeymoon? I would just talk to her now and see how she feels. That's what I'd do.....tell her now that this would mean a lot to you, that it would be another great memory to cherish from the honeymoon. (not the only memory, obviously...) So this way, if she gives you a lot of static, there's still time left to call the whole thing off. That said, I am the LAST person on earth you should take relationship advice from. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moss Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Why does he have to not enjoy the activity that's for her? In that case, I'd be more pissed that he started off the marriage with score-keeping than starting off the marriage with Wilco. Whatever works for them, of course - which is why asking us isn't going to get him anywhere. Now this is what makes marriage tricky and women so complicated. Not only do they get pissed that you want to go to Wilco on your honeymoon, they get pissed on a whole other level because you didn't ask the right way. You try to be nice and do something to make up for your selfishness in wanting to go, and you make it worse than if you just said, "we are going and that is it". I have been married 17 years and still have not figured this stuff out. Tread lightly my friend. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
W(TF) Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Here's another way to look at it. If you've seen Wilco 3 times or less, you should go...because you haven't seen them enough. If you've seen them 10 times or more, you should go...because you're a fanatic and she needs to just accept it. If you've seen the band 4-9 times but have been stymied in many efforts to see them, then you can make an appeal on those grounds. In any other case, forget it...suck it up and plan to go the next time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lammycat Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Either take her as a "surprise" or just get a ticket for yourself. She'll understand if you slip her some money to go shop for a few hours while you hit the show. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RaspberryJam Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Either take her as a "surprise" or just get a ticket for yourself. She'll understand if you slip her some money to go shop for a few hours while you hit the show. mmmm. I'm not sure this is the greatest approach. Listen. Just talk to her. You know her best, and assuming you are not going into this marriage thing lightly, you would have a pretty good idea of how she will take it. If she comes right out and says no, then I would recommend you never bring it up again. It's not the same as saying no to every Wilco concert. But, hopefully, it is something you can enjoy together. I have bands that I love, there are bands my husband loves, and there are bands we love together. We go to the ones we both love together, sometimes I accompany him and his friends on the ones he loves, sometimes not. Its all good. As an aside, I would've been happy to go to a concert on my honeymoon, but that's just me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky speaks Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Again, if you have to ask the question in the first place I think you already have problems......Go to the show...... Understanding is a two way street......She'll get over it...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
isadorah Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 maybe it's just me, but i'd probably try to schedule my honeymoon around a wilco tour. what could be better than sharing the band you love with the person you love. and if this kind of scenario came up with my significant other and it was a band i wasn't as keen on, i'd still go because it is something he loves and it just seems like the right thing to do. no strings attached. then again, i go to a concert at least once a month (upwards of 3x a month) and music is an integral part of my life. whoever marries me will need to be very keen and understanding to that. and double-then again i met the guy i'm madly in love with at a wilco concert... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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