Answer Me This

[barbkm]

So it was recently my birthday (40), and my friends want to take me our this Fri. On Saturday, I'm driving 3 hours to CT to see my niece play in a benefit concert -- BTW, this is a concert that my 16 year old niece developed on her own to raise money for Haiti. It's not a school thing, I'm overflowing with pride and do not want to miss this. So, I told my friends that I'm really looking forward to going out on Fri, but don't want to get drunk for 3 reasons:

[*]Lots of alcohol can trigger a migraine (one thing I wish I did not share with JT)

[*]Can't drive 3 hours and puke all day at same time

[*]And I think showing up hungover -- or canceling due to items 1 or 2, sets a bad example for my nieces

 

So now my friends are annoyed that I'm happy to go out, but do not want to get plastered. Tipsy okay, buzzed yes, but plastered, possibly flashing my girl parts and hitting on married men, No Way! Any suggestions for dealing with this? Am I wrong for letting people know ahead of time what the dealio is?

 

Thanks.

[caliber66]

Is there a reason why they can't take you out the following Friday?

[jenbobblehead]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

[okp greg]

You're definitely not wrong. I'd say just divert the focus of "getting plastered" toward more of a focus on having a good time, and hopefully they'll follow. Always have a drink in your hand and they won't buy another yet, say you just bought one or someone else just bought you one. If you could make it until they've had a couple then they'll stop realizing that you haven't! If your in the same bar all night just tell the bartender to make your shots water, they always work with you. Is there one friend you can ask to help you out? Whenever they buy you a drink just give it to them. Good luck.

[Beltmann]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

That's what I was thinking.

[cryptique]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

That's what I was thinking.

As was I.

 

Are your friends still 19 or something? There's more to life than getting drunk and making an ass of oneself.

[OOO]

Yep - it's definitely alright to not drink for a birthday celebration.

[Guest Speed Racer]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

 

This.

 

Also, why did you need to explain yourself ahead of time?

[bleedorange]

I concur with everyone else. It's just weird that your friends a) don't understand your situation that night, and b ) think getting drunk is a necessity for a birthday celebration. I haven't gotten drunk since my junior year of college.

 

Drink Diet Pepsi and enjoy hanging out with your friends.

[Guest Speed Racer]

I've known my crowd for three years, and some of them still don't know I don't drink.

[Smokestack Joe]

i am not yet 40 but when i turn 40 i would like to have a big bash, sure it is selfish but it is a special occasion.

 

But i agree, if you don't want to get hammered because you have more important things ( family stuff) to attend to the next day, then you should do what you want. YOu can always get hammered another night with your friends to celebrate your 40th.

[ih8music]

Your friends sound a little bit like my friends, but they should respect your decision to not get hammered. you're turning 40 after all, not 21.

 

You probably shouldn't have even mentioned it to them and just dealt with it that night - milking drinks, saying you have a headache, etc. But I agree with what was said before about finding a friend to watch out for you in case they get you tipsy and then take advantage of that. but then again, if that's a real concern for you, you might want to skip it in the first place.

[caliber66]

You probably shouldn't have even mentioned it to them and just dealt with it that night - milking drinks, saying you have a headache, etc.

Why should she deal with it passive-aggressively instead of directly?

 

"Guys, I really appreciate that you want to take me out and tie one on in honor of my birthday. I want to do that too, but I have something going on Saturday that I need to be clearheaded for. We can get hammered anytime, just not this Friday. What day works for you?"

 

If they have a problem with that, then that's their problem.

[Winston Legthigh]

1. Get hammered

2. Wake and bake

[Sweet Papa Crimbo]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

 

There has not been anything more true ever posted on this board

[Guest Ordinary Beehive]

I know a ton of people that push drinks, or simply don't get moderate drinking, even if only for a night. A few of them are good friends. I understand exactly your issue. If it were me, I would go out and just refuse drinks you don't want. Your friends can fucking deal with it.

 

I don't think you need to find new friends though. Life shouldn't revolve around alcohol, but I can certainly understand your friends wanting to get fucked up with you on your 40th birthday. They're not bad friends for that. They will be bad friends if they don't respect your decision to just have a few.

 

Actually, this can be a good time for you to really see how good of friends they are. I had a health issue a couple years back that landed me in the hospital for a week. When I got out, I quit boozing for a while and focused my attention on my health. Even after all of the shit I went through, one friend still couldn't understand why I didn't want to get hammered, not a week after getting out of the hospital. He's still my friend, but I will always remember that.

[u2roolz]

I agree with everything that's been written. It's really all a psychological game because they're making it seem like it won't be fun unless if you drink with them. And therein lies the problem: too many people equate having fun with getting drunk.

 

Maybe they're a bit jealous because you have a niece who is doing something great.

 

I'd have 0 to 1 drinks (depending on you) and then keep a cranberry juice as a prop for the rest of the evening.

 

(taps microphone leans in) Your Honor, I don't drink and only mingled in it a little bit. It was being pushed on me and I was younger. It's not that I don't drink but more that I shouldn't drink because it lowers my blood sugar levels. I am hypoglycemic. (crowd murmurs) {sorry, wrong thread}

 

I also wouldn't be afraid to mention that the cost of 1 drink would make a nice donation to your niece's benefit concert.

 

...possibly flashing my girl parts and hitting on married men...

Save this for the benefit concert.

[Guest Ordinary Beehive]

And therein lies the problem: too many people equate having fun with getting drunk.

 

I'd even say, too many people think they can't have fun unless their drunk.

[KramkonG]

Is there a reason why they can't take you out the following Friday?

 

Barbkm: It sounds like you kind of want to get plastered, otherwise this wouldn't be an issue. I say, re-schedule (as per 66rebilac). Do it a different night when you can deal with the repercussions the next day. By the way, good for your niece...I'm sure it took a lot of work to put something like that together. I hope the benefit is a success.

[bjorn_skurj]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

Yup.

[Doug C]

If your friends don't understand why a grown up might not want to get f&cked up, perhaps you should find new friends.

This is the only reply that you should heed.

[Sir Stewart]

Barbkm: It sounds like you kind of want to get plastered, otherwise this wouldn't be an issue.

 

Yes.

I also think it's sorta creepy that everyone is piling on with the "find new friends" frenzy. Jeez. Sure, perhaps B's friends could use a dose of 'WTF why do we need to be plastered?' but this thread is using bobblehead's quote like it's a hard truth. It's not so black/white.

[Doug C]

Let me clarify. If it were me and my friends, it would be black and white. If my friends where upset that I didn't want to get intoxicated for any reason, let alone the one barb described, that would tell me all that I needed to know. As far as someone else and their friends, I can't say.

[Guest Jules]

Is this thread about beer?

[The High Heat]

Is this thread about beer?

Nope. Just peer pressure & self confidence.