skyflynn Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hey everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been around in a while. I've had to take some time away to address problems in some of the other areas in my life where I have been failing, particularly in my relationships outside of my immediate family. Specifically, one of my many faults is inconsistency in maintaining friendships. Despite having strong emotional ties to many people, I often feel reclusive. This reclusion is easy to mistake with indifference and as a result, I hurt people's feelings. I think I fool people sometimes, including myself, into thinking I'm an extrovert. I'm not and social interaction is something I usually have to pump myself up for and when over, leaves me exhausted. I'm posting this because I realize I've done the same thing with a fair number of you as I have in my life off-line. What kind of friend seems to run away and hide on a semi-regular basis? My kind, the crappy kind. I realize this is total PM material and I could have just sent this to about 100 of you in general and about 10 of you whom I've really disappointed but then I'm back where I started, overwhelmed and under-equipped. And I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have the emotional wherewithal of a 14 year old boy but there it is. Clearly, I am a limited dude. I could go on and on and I guess I already have but really it comes down to this, don't let me being a lousy friend in any way make you think I don't love and miss you like I do everything else. Terribly, that is. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ction Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hey everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been around in a while. I've had to take some time away to address problems in some of the other areas in my life where I have been failing, particularly in my relationships outside of my immediate family. Specifically, one of my many faults is inconsistency in maintaining friendships. Despite having strong emotional ties to many people, I often feel reclusive. This reclusion is easy to mistake with indifference and as a result, I hurt people's feelings. I think I fool people sometimes, including myself, into thinking I'm an extrovert. I'm not and social interaction is something I usually have to pump myself up for and when over, leaves me exhausted. I'm posting this because I realize I've done the same thing with a fair number of you as I have in my life off-line. What kind of friend seems to run away and hide on a semi-regular basis? My kind, the crappy kind. I realize this is total PM material and I could have just sent this to about 100 of you in general and about 10 of you whom I've really disappointed but then I'm back where I started, overwhelmed and under-equipped. And I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have the emotional wherewithal of a 14 year old boy but there it is. Clearly, I am a limited dude. I could go on and on and I guess I already have but really it comes down to this, don't let me being a lousy friend in any way make you think I don't love and miss you like I do everything else. Terribly, that is. Who are you again? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cryptique Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I could have written that same post, Kevin. You're a textbook introvert like I am. At least you've tried to gain control and re-establish some ties -- I've been avoiding that for years ... decades, really. So, um, yeah ... I know where you're coming from. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mountain bed Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 SkyKev, Even if you're not here (online) you're always in our hearts dude. No worries. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NightOfJoy Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hey man.......you probably dont even remember but back in 04 you did a very kind BnP for me....turned me on to some very sweet Wilco soundboards for which I am eternally grateful. Dont beat yourself up so much, no one and I mean NO ONE is perfect. We all have our failings. The fact that you've recognized one within yourself is a good sign. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beltmann Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 As I said in my PM, reading your post was like looking into the mirror. Here's an article from early January that made me feel the same way: Happy Introvert Day! Ahh, Jan. 2. The day that introverts get to breathe a sigh of relief. We can come out of hiding; it's safe to answer the phone, and to stop pretending we're under the weather. Hip Hip Hooray! The holidays are over. Yes, from mid-December through New Year's Day, those of us with an introverted nature live in a state of perpetual dread. The weeks of office parties, neighborhood potlucks, and open houses drain all our energy. But today we can relax; we made it through. I speak from experience. My name is Diane, and I am an introvert. It surprises most people because I'm outgoing and friendly and, in fact, very far from shy, but I prefer one person and one conversation at a time. I fought this for years, always trying to be someone else. I made myself go to parties; I tried to fix what I thought was "wrong" with me. It didn't help that other people would press, "But you're so good with people," as if being introverted meant living on the dark side. But I finally got it. This is also one of the blessings of maturity, a wisdom that brings a "What you see is what you get" self-acceptance, or perhaps for introverts it's, "Who you don't see is what you get." It is a great relief to stop trying to be who you're not. But it's no wonder that we introverts are sometimes defensive. Up to 75 percent of the population is considered extroverted, so we're outnumbered three-to-one. American culture tends to reward extroversion, while being disdainful and suspicious of reflection and solitude. I've learned to spot my like-minded peers, though. We're the folks walking toward a festive house saying, "How long do we have to stay?" Or we're the ones in the center of the room assessing others' interactions, and slowly backing toward the door. Introverts crave meaning, so party chitchat feels like sandpaper to our psyche. Here's what introverts are not: We're not afraid, and we're not shy. Introversion has little to do with fear or reticence. We're just focused, and we prefer one-on-one because we like to listen and we want to follow an idea all the way through to another interesting idea. That's why small talk annoys us. So does pretending to be happy or excited or anything that we're not. We saw that play out in the 2004 presidential campaign. Most introverts knew immediately what that campaign-killing screech of Howard Dean was all about. It was the consequence of an introvert trying to act extroverted. I'm sure he attempted that exuberance based on the advice of media consultants: "Dean should be more outgoing, more charismatic." Well, ya know what? Dean wasn't any of those things. I do think that many of our better presidents have been introverts: Abraham Lincoln, Jimmy Carter, and John Adams Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Preferred B Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Weeeee...? () Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 contrary to the charchter i play here on the web, i can be extremely introverted and have become even more so over the past few years. i blame my children. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pillowy star Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Kevin, whenever I talk with my husband about the kind people from VC who I was lucky enough to meet in 2004, and who I want him to meet so badly as well, you're one of the first ones I mention. We all have worries, mishaps, failures, stress and things in our offline lives that sometimes consume an awful lot of time and energy, and don't leave us enough time for online as well as offline friends & acquaintances. Or we waste the little limited time on the wrong people (which I have repeatedly done in the past). I am sure everyone here like me appreciates you for everything you have been here to people, and nobody will have thought any less of you when you took a little time off. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
renic Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 good to know you're actually still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Edie Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hey Kev -- It's good to virtually see you Don't sweat it; just know you are loved. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gogo Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 You know how I feel about this. Now get out of my head! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GtrPlyr Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I too can relate to a lot of what you said there Kev. Especially the part about being reclusive and bad with keeping up with friends--sadly, some I haven't talked to in many many years. When I do see my friends it's great, and I always feel bad for letting so much time elapse between visits. Of course, my earnest intention to see them on a more regular basis usually fall by the wayside as I get distracted by my regular life routines. I used to see and talk to friends on a weekly basis when I was younger, not sure what happened along the way, but I slowly alienated a few. I can be outgoing at parties and such, but I'm truly an introvert in reality. I can thank my girlfriend for keeping me from being a total recluse by prodding me to do things I wouldn't normally--like going to an occasional party. Left to my own devices I would probably just write songs, listen to music, watch movies, read, bike and see friends once a year. Anyhow, glad to see you around these parts again Kev. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bobbob1313 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I miss you so much it hurt sometimes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
myboyblue Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Nobody likes an extrovert anyway. You are one of a very small number of people I've met on the board and I enjoyed the hell out of it. We'll have to try that again. Madison is going to become my home away from home. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
M. (hristine Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I snuggled skyflynn on the couch once. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bobbob1313 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I snuggled skyflynn on the couch once. SWOOOOOOON Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jenbobblehead Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 sometimes I want to reach through the interwebs and touch his hair. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NightOfJoy Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 SWOOOOOOON Hey! Whats that in the hands of the guy on the right? Lawdy, bunch of meth heads around here.....dont you people know that stuff makes you see tiny little white spiders and stuff? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EL the Famous Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 this is good point...while he may feel himself introverted in a larger capacity, i too can state he is not like that when you meet him at all. one of the friendliest cats you'll ever wanna' meet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
caliber66 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 This guy stole my fucking pizza one time. I'm surprised he has the cojones to even show up around here anymore. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
embiggen Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I spoke to this guy on the phone once. he wasn't that bad. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fickerson Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 miss you, kev. i miss madison too, sometimes, but i miss you more. nice to see you around here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clouds of Fluff Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I almost met this guy. I hear stuff about him. None of it ever has to do with teh suck either!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wilco Worshipper Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Lawdy, bunch of meth heads around here.....dont you people know that stuff makes you see tiny little white spiders and stuff? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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