Superpowers - Part Three

[kidsmoke]

Ok, so you've chosen a superpower in Superpowers - Part One. You've been randomly assigned a second superpower in Superpowers - Part Two.

 

Now you get to tell us: How will you use your superpowers to make your next Wilco concert experience a more perfect outing? This should be interesting.

 

Ready, go!

 

PS - If you never got around to choosing a superpower, go here:

 

http://viachicago.org/topic/49597-superpowers-part-one/

 

and then ask to be assigned your 2nd power, here:

 

http://viachicago.org/topic/49607-superpowers-part-two/

 

and then you'll be good to go.

[kidsmoke]

Personally, with my chosen power of Freezing Time, and my assigned power of Animal transmogrification, I might start the fun while waiting in line and when the line was getting long, I could freeze time for a moment, change into a giraffe or an elephant or kangaroo...maybe a manatee, the choice would be the tough part...and then restart time. Wouldn't that be a great boredom buster? The looks on the faces of my fellow line-waiters would be priceless. ("Shit! was that giraffe always there??")

 

And then I could switch back to myself and everyone would be inside their own heads thinking, "I KNEW I shouldn't have had that 3rd drink before we lined up!" or "Oh crap, what was in that sushi I just ate?!"

 

That would be just the start of the fun.

[choo-choo-charlie]

This is by far one of the most creative and fun cross-forum threads, ever. OK, here I go:

 

I'd use my role as a diplomat to make all concert-goers get along with one another -- standers/sitters, cell phone users, talkers, requesters, people who've been overserved, etc. I'd probably turn into a bird so I could quickly fly from conflict to conflict, turn back into myself and then resolve the disputes. Then I'd turn into an owl and join my brethren in front of Mikael's keyboard world.

[theashtraysays]

The flying part is pretty easy... no traffic, no lines, not even a ticket!  I could just drop in stageside... hang out with Stan... hover over the stage "hummingbird" style.  And I usually have to go pretty far to see them, so the drive back is never much fun.  Flying would definitely be the way to go.

 

As for the assigned diplomat power, Charlie's got that pretty well scoped out above.  I can't quite get my head around how to get the assholes and the non-assholes to "agree"... do we just all agree to talk during Radio Cure? 

 

I've always wanted my own setlist at a concert, especially a Wilco concert.  I think I'd like to use my powers to get Jeff to agree to play whatever songs I wanted them to play, assuming that one of the two people being "powered" can be me.  I'd also like to get Josh to let me agree to play cowbell for Hoodoo Voodoo, but I promise I'll keep my shirt on.  It's better that way. 

[kidsmoke]

I should have clarified in the original "Superpowers Part One" post that the agreeing created by this superpower is always in the direction of the greatest good. For all of mankind. A sort of Cosmic Force guides the power. So I think in the example above, the assholes would agree that talking during songs is just plain rude...while the non-talkers would agree to be mellow about small, inoffensive, non-distracting comments between audience members like, "Oh wow, I was hoping they'd play this!"

 

I think we might be on dangerous ground with The Diplomat's superpower if he could get everyone to agree with him! Wouldn't that make him Ruler of the World in very short order? So no on that. But you could certainly have a wife or friend want you to play cowbell on Hoodoo Voodoo, shirted of course, and get the wife or friend to get Josh to agree to that. But would that be for the greatest good? Hmmm. Dicey.

 

As to the flying to the show thing, remember you'd have to either go alone or carry her. Or maybe you could get your wife and someone else to agree to drive while you flew ahead and got to the front of the line? But then wouldn't others in the line object to your wife taking "cuts" when she arrived? I'm sorry, you are going to have to figure this one out for yourself. Good luck.

[anthony]

As both Superior Spider-Man and Magneto, the answer for the best Wilco show experience is obvious: climb the ceiling and perch just over the band, then drop down several high quality microphones. Record the best sounding show on Owl & Bear. Distribute FLAC to ViaChicago.org. Rinse and repeat for entire tour (hopefully I could use my new found abilities to quit my job).

[SarahC]

Oh man, this is hard, I chose Invincibility, and was assigned Animal Transmogrification...

 

so....

 

I guess the most logical choice would be to turn myself into a dog and be the Wilco pet on tour.  Then when the run ends I would  turn back into myself and go about my business.  When touring resumes turn back into a dog again and hop back on the bus. Taking turns sleeping at the feet of each one of the guys, and eventually worming my way in to running across the stage to and fro with a cowbell attached to my collar during "Hoodoo Voodoo".

 

Sounds good to me.  

[The High Heat]

Since I have super speed I wouldn't have to rush around and fight rush hour traffic to get to the show, which is good because I usually have to drive more than an hour to any concert I attend. And being invisible means I can be onstage with Wilco, most likely air-drumming right beside Glenn - until the blood starts flying, that is!

[Jcamp]

Being a mind-reading parrot, I would pontificate each night's playlist while waiting in line.

I will raise many eyebrows and of course, there will be some naysayers as I predict covers of Get Lucky and Waterloo.

As I pluck more songs out of thin air, many are happy to hear promises of Cinnamon Girl and Surrender, And your Bird Can Sing.

[calvino]

Can you use my super strength to silence a talker/video taker??

 

Regarding invisibility - I would use it to get on stage to so I could watch Nels feet and hands alot closer. I might use it to get into a show where I tried to get a ticket but got shut out.

[Magnetized]

I chose animal transmogrification and now I find I am also gifted with the ability to make correct change. Well, the possibilities are endless.

 

Since I know I'll be standing in lines at the Vic in the blistering cold in a couple of months, I think I'll turn into a polar bear. Not only will I be impervious to the cold, I'll be able to provide cuddly warmth for my fellow hardcore fans. (No more need for copious amounts of coffee spiked with booze for us!) But that might get a little bulky once I get inside, so I'll be changing identities based on the setlist. I'll provide some amusement for Jeff--only fair after all the amusement he's provided for me--by mutating into a hummingbird, a bloody lamb, a panther, a muzzle of bees, a laminated cat and, since it'll be tax season, even a spider who can help with his tax returns. All these transformations will no doubt leave the other members of the audience too stunned to talk/text/shoot videos, so you're welcome.

 

I'm still not so sure how I can use my awesome ability to make correct change, but maybe I misinterpreted the superpower. Maybe it's just that I need to make the correct changes of animal (check) and also possibly request "Pick Up the Change". Glad to oblige.

[Jcamp]

I'm thinking spiders working on tax returns would make for correct change from Uncle Sam.   Believe!

[theashtraysays]

As to the flying to the show thing, remember you'd have to either go alone or carry her. Or maybe you could get your wife and someone else to agree to drive while you flew ahead and got to the front of the line? But then wouldn't others in the line object to your wife taking "cuts" when she arrived? I'm sorry, you are going to have to figure this one out for yourself. Good luck.

There's obviously a "Passenger Side" feature in this superpower which I would have.  It's in the back of the brochure under "available options".

 

 

I should have clarified in the original "Superpowers Part One" post that the agreeing created by this superpower is always in the direction of the greatest good. For all of mankind. A sort of Cosmic Force guides the power.

You seem to be having trouble agreeing with my plan.  Perhaps I didn't make myself clear.  Step a little closer so I can explain it better.  Yes, just a little closer... that's good... now, take my hand and let's see if we can reach an understanding about this.  See, isn't that better?

[Moss]

Sweet, super vision.  Never a bad seat in the house.  I could roll into red rocks 1 minute before showtime, sit at the very top next to the beer tent.  Maybe take some notes on guitar playing by watching Jeff, Pat and Nels fingers closely.  I guess I'm really not thinking big enough here.

[kidsmoke]

There's obviously a "Passenger Side" feature in this superpower which I would have.  It's in the back of the brochure under "available options".

 

 

You seem to be having trouble agreeing with my plan.  Perhaps I didn't make myself clear.  Step a little closer so I can explain it better.  Yes, just a little closer... that's good... now, take my hand and let's see if we can reach an understanding about this.  See, isn't that better?

 

Why yes, now that I think of it, that's a much better plan than the one I had!

 

.....now wait just a gol-durn minute!

 

Luckily, I have a small bit of immunity to the superpowers of other VC members. It's an admin perk. But whew, that was close!

 

 

Oh and Moss, don't forget that with Super Vision you also have x-ray vision and heat vision. After Calvino takes some yappy fool's cell phone and crushes it with his bare hand, you can step in and use your heat vision to melt the remains into a bubbly black blob. (Try saying that 3 times fast!) Please let Calvino set the thing down first since he is not invincible and could sustain serious burns otherwise.

[moxiebean]

Chose: Flying

Assigned: Freezing Time

 

I'd be able to fly myself from Savannah to western Massachusetts for the next Solid Sound festival, not having to worry about the cost of airfare or traffic on I-95. Once there I could freeze time, swoop down on the stage, and finally get a good look at Nels' pedal board and see what powers the winking macramé owl (AAA batteries? Solar power? Pat's windmills? Positive vibes?)

[linclink]

Chosen: Weather
Assigned: Personal Magnetism

Thanks again for this great & fun thread idea.
I'd come in on part three & knew we were supposed to utilize our super powers to create more perfect Wilco concert experiences. That's why I chose the weather.
With the ability to control the weather we'd have almost always sunny & perfect Wilco outdoor shows! But...
being able to control things for a three mile radius, at will, means... we'd also sometimes have showers, just at the right time, for contrast, and then back to the sun shining through...more importantly...I'd use incredible weaving of cloud movements to create gorgeous sunsets & a kaleidoscoping 360 natural show of amazing light shifting beauty...the sunsets would be wild, as would the way the clouds would play with the moonbeams at night...the possibilities here are nearly endless & amazingly exciting (remember these shifts can take place as close as right overhead & around us, or as far away as three miles- giving up great variation in the depth of what & where things happen), but the first that came to mind was an alternating thunder & lightning (in the distance, of course) to be timed with Jeff's shouts of "Nothing!!" at the end of "Misunderstood"...feel free to add your own fave ideas...the choices for natural light shows, and being able to utilize wind & breezes as a force for fun & excitement are just amazingly tantalizing. I'd be glad to work with the band, & various fans to choreograph certain songs, or wedding proposals, etc., etc. ... this would be great fun & it was my fave super power choice to utilize when I saw what was going on. Thanks for letting me play here...
For my assigned power...For the greater good, I'd certainly be glad to help everyone find their lost sets of keys etc. at the end of the night after every show!!
And beyond that I'd use it to address my love of the guitar porn fest that every Wilco show is for me... I guess if the band was aware of my powers & OK with this...I might consider using it to pick out certain guitars I'd like to see or hear used in the show...I'd bond with all the Wilco guitars, so I could feel the differences in them & know how to pick them out & work with the metal in them, then I'd gently cause the ones that I hadn't seen or heard yet in the show to gently levitate backstage...then the roadies could show the ones I'd requested to Jeff, Nels, & Pat from the side of the stage & they'd know that I was in the house & hoping for that guitar to see some action & then they could decide to use it or not.
Thanks again to everyone who played along, but especially to "Kidsmoke" ("Lotti's best friend") for starting this up & bringing such a great creative Spirit to the board in so many ways!!

 

[kidsmoke]

Damn, you guys are such a fun bunch! I'm amazed at the uses you found for all your superpowers! Stuff I'd have never thought of. Linclink, you'll be at Solid Sound, right?! Because your ideas would make an already amazing time into something supernatural.

 

Oh and Diane, the Wilco boys will be your fans if you'll use your superpower to work the merch table.

[Guest Don Draper]

Chose: Fish Boy

Assigned: Invisibility

 

All I can think here is that if they ever played a gig on a cruise, I could stand on stage with them without fear of capsizing?  Had I known the road we were going down I may have reconsidered my chosen power.   

[linclink]

Damn, you guys are such a fun bunch! I'm amazed at the uses you found for all your superpowers! Stuff I'd have never thought of. Linclink, you'll be at Solid Sound, right?! Because your ideas would make an already amazing time into something supernatural.

 

Oh and Diane, the Wilco boys will be your fans if you'll use your superpower to work the merch table.

I can pretty safely say, barring any crazy interventions from the Cosmos, that I will be at any & every future Solid Sound (my first was this last year). It is already bordering on the supernatural with all the good vibes & sonic magic, but... I'll hope for beautiful & entertaining weather- mostly in the form of sunshine. I was actually pretty ill at the Fest (nasty cold), but if I'd had my powers I would have turned the temp down about 10 degrees & reduced all humidity to zero...oh & a stronger than gentle breeze too...other than that, it was like a cross between Wonka's Chocolate Factory & Pepperland. Pretty magical indeed. Thanks again for all of the fun (here & elsewhere)!!

[Mr. Heartbreak]

Chose: Flying

Assigned: Super strength

And I have to use these together for the greatest good? Hmm, does flying across the amphitheater and body slamming the worst talkers count as the greatest good? I am a rather nonviolent sort, but I'm happy to take one for the team.

[kidsmoke]

Chose: Fish Boy

Assigned: Invisibility

 

All I can think here is that if they ever played a gig on a cruise, I could stand on stage with them without fear of capsizing?  Had I known the road we were going down I may have reconsidered my chosen power.  

 

You are mistaken about your second power. See my note in Superpowers - Part Two. Perhaps your assigned superpower will suit you better than invisibility.

[kidsmoke]

Chose: Flying

Assigned: Super strength

And I have to use these together for the greatest good? Hmm, does flying across the amphitheater and body slamming the worst talkers count as the greatest good? I am a rather nonviolent sort, but I'm happy to take one for the team.

 

Or you could just pick them all up and fly them out of the place & several miles away to some deserted country road in the middle of nowhere.

[Magnetized]

Methinks our esteemed moderator has a bit too much time on her hands!

 

[kidsmoke]

If I'm the esteemed moderator to whom you refer, thanks for the esteem but actually I am simply bored with decorating the tree and avoiding it. Can't Christmas be around the 28th this year?

 

Now get busy in that merch booth.