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A Wilco Holiday Challenge

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Hello All,

We are living at such a clip, in such serious impeachy times, and I was thinking we still need to play. Seriousness calls for Silliness to keep its balance. With that in mind, may I present a new Via Chicago game! I'll call it,




Here's how it works. You take a Wilco song title, and using slight wording changes, you convert it into a holiday classic! I'm sure you all remember the warm nostalgia of "Heavy Metal Dreidel", a song about innocence!

Or these chestnuts:


"Box Full of Glitter"

A song about Holiday crafts


"Far, Far Away in a Manger"

The story of wisemen wishing for rapid transit


"Love is Underwear"

In praise of the practical gift


So you get the idea. Tell me your favorite Wilco holiday tune. Any midwinter holiday qualifies, and the member who dazzles me most with their creation will probably get some strange prize from me so what have you got to lose?


How about "Cold Slope (and a Long Slide)"

-Santa's on the rooftop and should watch his step


Ok, your turn.

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Frosty the Sunloathe


Jesus, Eggnog


I Saw Mommy Kissing Jane Smiley's Boyfriend


Red-Eyed and Nosed (ft. Rudolf the Red Lunged Reindeer)


Lego is Everywhere (Beware)               (As kids open their presents - have you ever stepped on a Lego brick with bare feet)


What's the Amazon Got In Store


Pie Holding Swede                                (A bit bland I admit, but economical)


ELF                                                        (Every Little Fing - the Cockney version)




Impossible Garment Fit, Unlikely Refund                             (a.k.a. The Unwelcome Gift)


Advent Kalendar


Hey Turkey


Hell is Charades


Random Name Secret Santa


Hold Me Anywhere              (too much eggnog ...)


Unrelated but a similar song game, I somehow got to thinking about songs improved by swapping in the name of an animal. Being in the middle of the BBC's showing of the Ken Burns history of country documentary series, and quite taken with some new knowledge about Kris Kristoferson, I can't get this song out of my head: 'Take the gibbon from my hair ...'.

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These are great!  :lol  Getting carried away in a manger sounds very rude I think. I mean, get a room!  :blink

Also I think all "Misunderstood" needs is the word Mistletoe. Doesn't that have the ring of a sad holiday classic? Like Blue Christmas.

"Misunderstood Mistletoe"

A song about a night that went so wrong and the tiny sprig behind it all  :heartbroken

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Ok Kidsmoke. Here you go.


Mistletoe Misunderstood (Office Christmas Party)


When you’re back at your old cubicle

What’s that hanging from the roof

But that Mistletoe's misunderstood

That Mistletoe's misunderstood


A red stapler that you just can’t find

When the girl from legal catches your eye

You hurt her but you don’t know why

You didn’t notice what was on the vine


Trying just to hit sales goals

A Christmas Party that you just didn’t go to

You still love Santa Claus?

You still love Santa Claus?


It’s only a quarter to nine

No one’s going to make it on time

While she is just staring at me

Why is she just staring at me?


Ted from accounting's going for a ride

He’ll get the donuts if you offer to buy

He thinks you stiffed him on the last check

It will be years before he gets over it.


There’s mistletoe above my head

But that thought is just misread

I’m thinking that I just should have fled

From the mistletoe above my head


You think I’m just a Mama's Boy

I just don’t want to be unemployed

Mistletoe's Misunderstood

Mistletoe's Misunderstood


I know you’ve got some mistletoe

But HR says you’ve got to go

Mistletoe's Misunderstood

Mistletoe's Misunderstood

Mistletoe's Misunderstand

Mistletoe's Misunderstood


I’d like to thank you all for New Years

After the party no one cleaned up at all

I’d like to thank you all for New Years,

New Years,New Years,New Years,

New Years when they just drop the ball

New Years, New Years, New Years, 

New Years when they just drop the ball

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Another Elf Done Gone

At My Mistletoe Sad and Lonely

Sleigh Ride To Heaven

Bull Black Red Ryder BB Gun

North Pole Queen

Santa For President

Forgot the Presents

Hesitating Rudolph

Saint Nicholas Done It Again

Jesus Came Along To Me (if we counting anything from Mermaid Ave)


"There's a random painted fireplace, and a Stocking of Coals"


"Someone's Else's Gift, from a Holiday Not Long Ago" (for the White Elephant regifting parties)

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Omigosh I've had a busy and exhausting day, and I check in and you guys are on fire!!!

More opinion once I've slept. Wow you are a creative bunch!


And may I just add this silly oldie that so many love...


Grandma Got Run Over by a Bull Black Nova

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