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Happy Mother's Day, VC Moms! :wave

 

 

I plan to till the garden today (yes, ModeraChristor, I'm only now getting around to it). :ermm

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Happy Mothers Day to all the other Mums of teenager daughters who frequenly forget about Mother's Day, get up at noon, see you and then frantically try to explain that they were "just about to make a huge breakfast for the whole family when they unfortunately fell back asleep at 8.30" (after coming home at 4.30 am) :rolleyes

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I smell bacon cooking! :w00t

it's gonna be a good day!

 

happy mom's day to all you new, and established mom's o' vc!

 

special shoutout to kidsmoke who, whether she likes it or not, is our vc momma hen. :love

 

BACON, PUDDING AND NEW SOCKS FOR ALL!

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NOT SAFE FOR CHILDREN AND OTHER LIVING THINGS MOTHERS' DAY HUMOR:

 

I met an older woman at a bar last night.

 

She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullshitted a bit,

then she asked if I'd ever had the 'sportsman's double',

a mother and daughter threesome?

 

I said no.

 

We drank a bit more,

then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

 

I went back to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:

"Mom, you still awake?"

 

 

 

Happy Mother's Day ladies! :cheekkiss

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image27ji2.jpg

 

HEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!! Happy Mothers Day to all you Mothers! :cheers

(I actually heard Harry say this on the air one year :lol )

 

 

Have a great day, ladies!

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a little ditty my mother used to sing to me when i was young (and even still)

 

Be kind to your mother

because you'll never have another

mother

like me.

 

yay mothers! you people are so brave. I will defer childrearing to you and i am sticking with cats.

go team mom!

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Mother's Day Proclamation - Julia Ward Howe

 

Arise then...women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts!

Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly:

"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,

Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,

For caresses and applause.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We, the women of one country,

Will be too tender of those of another country

To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

 

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with

Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!

The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

Blood does not wipe our dishonor,

Nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,

Let women now leave all that may be left of home

For a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

Whereby the great human family can live in peace...

Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,

But of God -

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask

That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,

May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient

And the earliest period consistent with its objects,

To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace.

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MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION

 

POSITION TITLE :

Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma

 

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

 

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

 

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

 

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

 

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

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for Mother's Day Graham gave me a lovely pot of roses (that can be re-planted!) and his cousin gave me some chocolates. So nice!! :)

 

My daughter proceeded to eat half of the box of chocolates this morning before I got up. There's some Mother's Day gratitude for ya! Yay, 13 year olds. :hmm

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for Mother's Day Graham gave me a lovely pot of roses (that can be re-planted!) and his cousin gave me some chocolates. So nice!! :)

 

My daughter proceeded to eat half of the box of chocolates this morning before I got up. There's some Mother's Day gratitude for ya! Yay, 13 year olds. :hmm

 

 

Just wait until she hits 17...I sleep with one eye open

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My daughter proceeded to eat half of the box of chocolates this morning before I got up. There's some Mother's Day gratitude for ya! Yay, 13 year olds. :hmm

:lol

 

By the time Hannah hits puberty, I should be going through menopause. I'll let you know how that turns out. :hmm

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:lol

 

By the time Hannah hits puberty, I should be going through menopause. I'll let you know how that turns out. :hmm

Haha. It's an interesting dynamic lemmee tell ya.

 

M. (hris: Just as your body is getting ready to menstruate, my body is getting ready to stop.

Sarah: It stops??

 

 

Menopause= adolescence in reverse.

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I had Sarah when I was 39. It would seem that there is still alot of time for you.

As it turned out I am a much better older parent than I was when I was a youngster.

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I had Sarah when I was 39. It would seem that there is still alot of time for you.

As it turned out I am a much better older parent than I was when I was a youngster.

So far, I'm enjoying being an older mum - it's kind of a family tradition. My grandmother was 40 when my mother was born, and my mother turned 39 the year she had me. I always joke that fertility increases with age in my family.

 

My parents were very level headed and mellow, but now I realize that maybe they were just exhausted. :lol

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