I'm A Cop!...You Idiot!

[MattZ]

You can't think of a hypothetical situation where it would be appropriate to have a cop fake-arrest a 5 year-old? Funny, I can't either.

 

All I said is that we don't know what happened here and that I am not willing to pass judgment if I dont know what happened. I have absolutely no interest in playing games of hypotheticals for fun. If you are willing to pass judgment, go right ahead. When your kid doodles on the wall with crayons after you've told him/her 10 times not to, hit me with a PM. I've got some experience with it and I am happy to say it doesn't have to involve psychiatrists or handcuffs.

[The High Heat]

When I was that kid's age I also lived very near a 7-11, and I also wanted to burn that fucker down.

 

I was hoping they'd replace it with a WaWa.

[bjorn_skurj]

You can't think of a hypothetical situation where it would be appropriate to have a cop fake-arrest a 5 year-old? Funny, I can't either.

When the kid passes a crayon-scrawled stickup note to a teller when on line with his mom at a bank.

[Guest Speed Racer]

All I said is that we don't know what happened here and that I am not willing to pass judgment if I dont know what happened. When your kid doodles on the wall with crayons after you've told him/her 10 times not to, hit me with a PM. I've got some experience with it and I am happy to say it doesn't have to involve psychiatrists or handcuffs.

 

I mentioned the pediatrician because playing with matches, chronically and obsessively, is dangerous, anti-social behavior, thank you.

 

See, I think this is a situation where there are absolutes, so we really *don't* need to know what happened. (ETA: For the record, there are equally as many aspects of parenting for which there ar not absolutes). Parents do many, many things out of frustration, but as you say, they don't usually involve psychiatrists or handcuffs. And this one involved foresight. She actually thought, in that excellent brain of hers, that this was a good idea, and found someone equally dumb enough to go along with her. Lucky her!

 

I'm not saying parents don't get frustrated - I was raised by two, in fact, and have the ability to recognize that I wasn't an easy kid to raise. My parents made their own mistakes, one of which I not only remember, but I also remember that my mother didn't apologize, and I'm still doing that same behavior (not picking up after myself 100%) today.

 

I'm saying that there are things you absolutely do not do to five year-old kids, one of which is making their public safety officer a fearful figure, the second of which is introducing the penal system regarding something that, let's remember, isn't even a crime.

[Good Old Neon]

I mentioned the pediatrician because playing with matches, chronically and obsessively, is dangerous, anti-social behavior, thank you.

 

See, I think this is a situation where there are absolutes, so we really *don't* need to know what happened. (ETA: For the record, there are equally as many aspects of parenting for which there ar not absolutes). Parents do many, many things out of frustration, but as you say, they don't usually involve psychiatrists or handcuffs. And this one involved foresight. She actually thought, in that excellent brain of hers, that this was a good idea, and found someone equally dumb enough to go along with her. Lucky her!

 

I'm not saying parents don't get frustrated - I was raised by two, in fact, and have the ability to recognize that I wasn't an easy kid to raise. My parents made their own mistakes, one of which I not only remember, but I also remember that my mother didn't apologize, and I'm still doing that same behavior (not picking up after myself 100%) today.

 

I'm saying that there are things you absolutely do not do to five year-old kids, one of which is making their public safety officer a fearful figure, the second of which is introducing the penal system regarding something that, let's remember, isn't even a crime.

 

This.

 

Edit: With that said, the kid should contact Gloria Allred and press wrongful arrest charges against his mother, the cop, the state of Florida, Walt Disney’s corpse and a bunch of other stuff.

[barbkm]

So when my niece Laura was 5, she dialed 911 from a restaurant pay phone. The police came, had quite the serious talking to with Laura -- all in a comforting, but serious tone. he took her name, phone number, address. While there were no handcuffs or patrol car, it did scare the shit out of her. But, her parents spoke with her about it after wards and assured her that she's loved and not a bad girl. And she never did it again. Also, 10 years later, she is a normal, funny, intelligent 15 year active at school and on the swim team. A little bit of a wise ass to her mother -- but that has more to do with her mother being a absent mother and a bitch when she's there (my EX sister in law). My conclusion -- and it is unfair for us to judge because we don't have any of the post or pre information -- as long as the mother properly addressed the situation at home, I see no problem. There are actually worse parents out there who abandon, beat, starve and sexually or psychology abuse their kids. Or ignore troubling behavior hoping they grow out of it. I say kudos for addressing what could be a very serious situation upfront.

[Mr. Heartbreak]

I live in Florida, and have had many unpleasant confrontations with cops here, and I am a respectable suburbanite. My experience here has taught me that most of the cops in this area are assholes, and best avoided unless absolutely necessary. I would not trust one of them with anything unless I had no choice. I would say making the "public safety officer" a figure of fear is just plain realistic. In another part of the country, maybe not. Florida, yeah.

[mountain bed]

During my review of a daycare center today, the director told me some mother here in the neighborhood where I am is parading her 13 year old around the streets with a box around him that says "I am a thief". Yikes....

 

LouieB

Christ. Was her name Mrs. Ted Poe?

 

A couple of other thoughts...

 

1) Does ANYONE look at the heat as their friend, someone to be trusted? I don't, and neither do my kids. I'm with Mr. H on this.

 

2) I'm LOLing all over the place about Lammy discussing fire safety. Sorry, LC.

[MattZ]

you take the kid to his pediatritian and ask for a referral to a counseler or psychiatrist.

 

 

I mentioned the pediatrician because playing with matches, chronically and obsessively, is dangerous, anti-social behavior, thank you.

 

Yes, I know you mentioned the pediatrician, but it was to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. I just referred to the psychiatrist to cut out the middleman.

 

I understand what you are getting at. I really do. But I dont know enough about kids to know whether a 5 yr old is able to comprehend the ramifications of the dangrous anti-social behavior we can agree that playing with fire might represent. It could also be a kid pushing limits in a way that is dangerous enough that he can't understand. He might have wanted attention.

 

And of course there are a million ways that a parent can deal with a situation like this, and plenty of people would object to the way the parent handled it. My guess is that the mom is a bit off her rocker, but I had friends growing up whose parents put their hands over the burner to teach them not to turn it on. Horribly cruel and completely insane to me. But some parents raise their kids with an iron fist, I guess.

 

I'd prefer no fake arrest and no hands over burners, but I dont know this mom and I dont know this kid. Since we agree on the former, let's move on?

[Moss]

Probably over the top but I don't see that it's going to scar the kid for life or anything, I don't think kids are such delicate little flowers. He learned that if you do something wrong, it's possible the cops may get involved. Not sure that's teaching him to be afraid of the police (although I'm with the people that don't think that is such a bad thing either).

[Guest Speed Racer]

but I dont know this mom and I dont know this kid. Since we agree on the former, let's move on?

 

But it's really the second point I'm hung up on. How is it not black and white to you? I just can't think of anything anyone would say where I would go, "Oh! Of course she had a police officer fake-arrest her five year-old son!" There's just no condition where that's acceptable to me, and I can't believe anyone could say, "Well, we don't know the circumstances." What circumstances would make it acceptable? If you can't answer that, how can you think that? (That's an honest question, I'm just trying to understand how this is somehow a sliding scale.)

 

As far as Mr. H's opinion of cops, well, I'm going to go ahead and assume you're older than five, and your opinion was formed based on your experience with cops over time.

 

How many of you that don't think this is a big deal would do this to your kid? I mean, if it's not a big deal, then it would be a no-brainer, right? Kid does something dangerous, call a cop and throw them in the back of a cruiser. Or is this just okay for other parents to do?

[Guest Speed Racer]

I also don't get the "people do far worse things every day to their kids" excuse. That's an 'and,' not a 'but.' You don't mess up at work and tell your boss, "But ____ is so much more incompetent." You don't call your spouse a name and say, "But ____ does it every day." It's not an acceptable excuse for behavior.

[Good Old Neon]

 

How many of you that don't think this is a big deal would do this to your kid? I mean, if it's not a big deal, then it would be a no-brainer, right? Kid does something dangerous, call a cop and throw them in the back of a cruiser. Or is this just okay for other parents to do?

 

I called Homeland Security on account of my 3 year old daughter always yelling “jihad Taliban, jihad Taliban, jihad Taliban” turns out she was really just begging to watch her favorite show, Ni Hao Kailan. Whoops – my bad, but I think she learned a lesson- what that lesson is, I’m not sure, but whatever.

[Guest Jules]

We should be glad the Mom did something.

 

How many of you that don't think this is a big deal would do this to your kid? I mean, if it's not a big deal, then it would be a no-brainer, right? Kid does something dangerous, call a cop and throw them in the back of a cruiser. Or is this just okay for other parents to do?

No, but I have other parenting skills. Maybe she doesn't. Again, let's be glad there's a parent willing to do something here. Many don't do shit.

[Dude]

I called Homeland Security on account of my 3 year old daughter always yelling “jihad Taliban, jihad Taliban, jihad Taliban” turns out she was really just begging to watch her favorite show, Ni Hao Kailan. Whoops – my bad, but I think she learned a lesson- what that lesson is, I’m not sure, but whatever.

 

To stop watching crappy shows?

[Mr. Heartbreak]

I'm of the opinion that the handcuffs were over the top, but other than that, I don't think it was abusive.

 

The whole fake "self-esteem" movement in America has created a nation loaded with loudmouthed, egotistical brats who have never been properly disciplined and whose sense of entitlement is truly breathtaking. They run amok everywhere, and literally expect an adult to move out of THEIR way when walking toward them. It's amazing. I would love to see more parents with the mindset of "I'm in charge, not my children," and "If you do something stupid and dangerous, there will be serious consequences." Maybe this mother's actions seem harsh, but as Matt pointed out, they don't reach the level of putting a child's hand over a burner.

 

Also, the fact that we know nothing about the child does seem relevant. There's a big difference between a sensitive, delicate flower and a button-pushing, boundary-pushing precocious child. Since it was a real cop who went along with the whole thing, I'd be inclined to give the mother a pass and to say that maybe, just maybe, those "horrified bystanders moved to tears" ought to take a look at whether their own children are in charge at home or they are. I'm just sayin' ...

[Guest Speed Racer]

I would love to see more parents with the mindset of "I'm in charge, not my children," and "If you do something stupid and dangerous, there will be serious consequences."

 

As would I. This mother isn't one of them. She passed the buck to a ridiculously stupid public safety officer. Saying, "If you do something stupid and dangerous, there will be serious consequences" is great, but saying, "If you do something stupid and dangerous, I will flip my shit, overreact, and apply consequences that are not age appropriate" doesn't send a good message to the kid.

 

Kids in the age demographic for Blue's Clues and Sesame Street don't belong in the back of a cruiser, unless it's a tour at a block party or they actually have broken a law.

[Good Old Neon]

To stop watching crappy shows?

 

Crappy to you and I? Perhaps – but to a 3 year old, it’s pure unadulterated sugary day-glo goodness. However, her TV watching time is strictly monitored, to the degree to which she, rather than her mom or I, shuts the TV off after watching her 1 allotted episode of the show of her choice – it’s usually a toss-up between Ni Hoa, Max and Ruby or my personal favorite, The Wonder Pets. Plus, half of our conversations now involve the use of Japanese, a direct result of Ni Hao – I have no idea what the hell it is she’s saying, and I’ve weighed the benefits of hiring a translator.

[tinnitus photography]

It could have been a lot worse. For instance, the mom could've yelled "don't drop the soap" to her son when they put him in the confession booth

 

fixed

[Good Old Neon]

As would I. This mother isn't one of them. She passed the buck to a ridiculously stupid public safety officer. Saying, "If you do something stupid and dangerous, there will be serious consequences" is great, but saying, "If you do something stupid and dangerous, I will flip my shit, overreact, and apply consequences that are not age appropriate" doesn't send a good message to the kid.

 

Kids in the age demographic for Blue's Clues and Sesame Street don't belong in the back of a cruiser, unless it's a tour at a block party or they actually have broken a law.

 

This.

 

At five years old, a child is simply not equipped to comprehend the full consequences of their actions, up to and including being handcuffed and then deposited into the back of a police cruiser for playing with matches. The fact that this person had to go to such lengths suggests, to me, that at some point, her ability to parent and/or control her child (or secure her matches/lighter) suffered a major breakdown – and rather than involve the police, she and her child would be better served by a trip to a child psychologist – assuming the child is crazy obsessed with fire, and wasn’t just being a toddler.

 

I can forgive a child for making a poor decision, playing with matches - I’m not as charitable with respect to the parent. There’s tough love, and then there’s poor parenting – this is a case of poor parenting.

[caliber66]

Crappy to you and I? Perhaps – but to a 3 year old, it’s pure unadulterated sugary day-glo goodness. However, her TV watching time is strictly monitored, to the degree to which she, rather than her mom or I, shuts the TV off after watching her 1 allotted episode of the show of her choice – it’s usually a toss-up between Ni Hoa, Max and Ruby or my personal favorite, The Wonder Pets. Plus, half of our conversations now involve the use of Japanese, a direct result of Ni Hao – I have no idea what the hell it is she’s saying, and I’ve weighed the benefits of hiring a translator.

Funny that a show with a Chinese name would inspire a 3 year old child to learn Japanese.

[Good Old Neon]

Funny that a show with a Chinese name would inspire a 3 year old child to learn Japanese.

 

Hence the need for a translator.

[Guest Speed Racer]

You make my heart feel super happy!

[ih8music]

Funny that a show with a Chinese name would inspire a 3 year old child to learn Japanese.

[bjorn_skurj]

Funny that a show with a Chinese name would inspire a 3 year old child to learn Japanese.

Hmm. That sort of undermines my theory that that show (as Boohbah is getting kids used to eventual contact and colonization by extraterrestrials) is preparing kids to live under Chinese rule, after the PRC repossesses us.