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Ask Caliber why he's so anal.


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People get all "devil may care" and reckless over the "week-end" and think they can get through the two (and sometimes as many as four or five) days without my guidance. They do so at their peril.

 

You should have an orange slice and whatever the special sausage is. I'm hoping for wild boar and cranberry again. And scotch.

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Dear Calibar,

 

Should I just skip sleeping today and hit up the cafeteria now?

 

Bobbo, you should probably try to catch a nap if you're going to be watching football (and drinking beer) all day today like a normal college man. The value of dining hall breakfast is not to be discounted, however, after a night of drinking, especially when you haven't slept. This is quite a conundrum. I would suggest that you go and power down some greasy food, then come home and sleep until about noon.

 

Also, with regard to the question you posted in the RTT: don't be a pussy. If your roommate is going to try to exact some retribution on you for the sharpie attack, that's what he's going to do, regardless of whether or not he believes you had anything to do with it or not. Denying it at this stage reeks of "guilty," so just take what comes as it comes. Then escalate.

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Bobbo, you should probably try to catch a nap if you're going to be watching football (and drinking beer) all day today like a normal college man. The value of dining hall breakfast is not to be discounted, however, after a night of drinking, especially when you haven't slept. This is quite a conundrum. I would suggest that you go and power down some greasy food, then come home and sleep until about noon.

 

Also, with regard to the question you posted in the RTT: don't be a pussy. If your roommate is going to try to exact some retribution on you for the sharpie attack, that's what he's going to do, regardless of whether or not he believes you had anything to do with it or not. Denying it at this stage reeks of "guilty," so just take what comes as it comes. Then escalate.

 

I think maybe if I go to the cafeteria I might be able to miss him as he wakes, so I could potentially kill two birds with one stone, although it is just now occuring to me that they don't open until 10:30. Maybe I should walk to Burger King and grab a Crossaintwich.

 

Your reply?

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Dear Sir,

 

 

Why did producers of 80's metal feel the need to mix the drum and bass tracks with so much compression and reverb?

 

I found myself listening to Ynwie Malmsteens Trilogy Suite and found the mix nearly unbearable.

 

Thanks,

 

Having a Mid-Life Crisis

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Dodge Caliber? Sound advice?

 

If you mean the automobile, I would consider it. Decent gas mileage, but it's a 4 cylinder, so you'll need a test drive to see if it's got enough power. Don't discount the value of having a car with enough juice to get out of the way of an accident.

 

If you're suggesting that people avoid me, then I find that very hurtful.

 

I have no advice on your sound system. Maybe Jude can help you with that.

 

Dear Sir,

Why did producers of 80's metal feel the need to mix the drum and bass tracks with so much compression and reverb?

 

I found myself listening to Ynwie Malmsteens Trilogy Suite and found the mix nearly unbearable.

 

Thanks,

 

Having a Mid-Life Crisis

 

Is that anything like a Yngwie Malmsteen? I think it's pretty much common knowledge that every metal sound mixer/producer in the 80's was on drugs. That likely explains much of your problem.

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Is that anything like a Yngwie Malmsteen?

 

Caliber 66(6)

 

Why do I have a problem spelling on Sunday mornings?

 

Could I be on Drugs?

 

- Yngwie Fan

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I've completely quit cold turkey twice now. It's easily accomplished. You just have to set your mind to it. These days, outside of the occasional bumming of a cigarette I've totally sworn off the things altogether.

 

Caliber, Master of the English,

 

What is wrong with the above sentence(s)?

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Caliber 66(6)

 

Why do I have a problem spelling on Sunday mornings?

 

Could I be on Drugs?

 

- Yngwie Fan

 

It's a distinct possibility.

 

Caliber, Master of the English,

 

What is wrong with the above sentence(s)?

 

The dependent clause "outside of the occasional bumming of a cigarette" should have been fully set off by commas, his use of "totally" makes the word "altogether" redundant, and every word of it is complete bullshit.

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Also, with regard to the question you posted in the RTT: don't be a pussy. If your roommate is going to try to exact some retribution on you for the sharpie attack, that's what he's going to do, regardless of whether or not he believes you had anything to do with it or not. Denying it at this stage reeks of "guilty," so just take what comes as it comes. Then escalate.

 

You were, of course, completely correct, wise sage.

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The dependent clause "outside of the occasional bumming of a cigarette" should have been fully set off by commas, his use of "totally" makes the word "altogether" redundant, and every word of it is complete bullshit.

Given the parodic nature of the post, grammatical blunders, illogical statements (e.g., "quitting for good" multiple times) and a rambling incoherence are derived directly from the source material. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody for further clarification.

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Mr. Caliber,

I have a concern,and I CERTAINLY don't trust media whores like The Dr. Phil or Her Oprahness.

Is it possible that internet porn is as addictive/lethal as this heroin stuff the kids are all 'hopped up' on these days??

 

Thanks in advance,MB

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Mr. Caliber,

I have a concern,and I CERTAINLY don't trust media whores like The Dr. Phil or Her Oprahness.

Is it possible that internet porn is as addictive/lethal as this heroin stuff the kids are all 'hopped up' on these days??

 

Thanks in advance,MB

 

I would refer this question to my colleague Dr. Judy "Dreamin" Freud, who can probably do a better job. She's Canadian, though, so you probably shouldn't trust her.

 

It would be difficult to convince me that activities like gambling or viewing pornography are as addictive as heroin, cocaine and other drugs are, although I certainly agree that they can be habit-forming.

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I was goin' on the assumption that you might refer me to Mr. JUDE,who seems to be a specialist in these matters :lol

 

And Canadian she may be,but I gotta trust anyone with a NY avatar :thumbup (if this is of whom you speak)

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Dear caliber -

 

Do you think it is possible that the woman across the hall will stand in her doorway and talk about her husband's medical issues ALL FUCKING DAY LONG?

 

Your pal,

ction

 

Both possible and likely. She should really just save everybody some time and start communicating all of her and her family's personal business by press release.

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Both possible and likely.

 

Wrong. She's walked across the hall and is now holding court by our printer.

 

I have been here for a little over two hours and I have not been afforded more than 20 seconds of not hearing her voice.

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