Wilco ex-member sues frontman Tweedy

[Guest Speed Racer]

These are all pretty one-sided. I'm sure if Jay wanted to take a slap at Tweedy, he could pen ...

 

"He's a Czar"

 

He's a czar

With a funny beard

So fierce and feared

A circle's-center

With money hid

And now he begs me not to sue him

 

He says forever to pull a ruse

We could use

A handful of cash

For a day off

And a broke hip

However, he won't feel

Your claim is real

[jff]

He's a czar

With a funny beard

So fierce and feared

A circle's-center

With money hid

And now he begs me not to sue him

 

He says forever to pull a ruse

We could use

A handful of cash

For a day off

And a broke hip

However, he won't feel

Your claim is real

 

You have a gift.

[Guest Speed Racer]

You have a gift.

 

Yeah, and it's so marketable, too. Lots of people out there looking for pinch-hitter parodists.

[Central Scrutinizer]

He's a czar

With a funny beard

So fierce and feared

A circle's-center

With money hid

And now he begs me not to sue him

 

He says forever to pull a ruse

We could use

A handful of cash

For a day off

And a broke hip

However, he won't feel

Your claim is real

 

You can't ignore the tracks that I played upon

I didn't play them for you free.

But while rewatching Sam Jones' film

a thought occurred to me ...

[Edie]

Lauren, your stuff is freaking brilliant

 

And I bet that whoever else is purusing this thread (read: band members, current and former) also think they are hilarious.

[Doug C]

Yeah, and it's so marketable, too. Lots of people out there looking for pinch-hitter parodists.

You could be a niche Weird Al. All of VC would pay. Go for it!!

[Central Scrutinizer]

Yeah, and it's so marketable, too. Lots of people out there looking for pinch-hitter parodists.

Have you seen how many writers they list for Conan? Letterman? Leno? It's a good gig.

[Guest Speed Racer]

I dreamed about suing you again last night

it felt alright to me

filing on the terms of a contract left unsigned

I watched your wallet bleed

and buried you alive in a settlement today

raining down on me

your cold-hard cash flowing over me like a sea

 

I printed my name on the back of a suit

And I had it filed away

The dough I had in catalog of songs and movies

Is all I tried to save

So my health brought me back, via Cook County

In the middle of the spring

And all for $50k (read: fifty-k), or whatever comes from this thing

 

You know I'll break my back one of these days

And turn on poor VC

You'll watch a man with a face like mine

Suing fans for their parodies

And when I get caught I won't be right

And I won't get a cent

 

I'm suing you,

I'm suing you,

Via Cook County

 

my cups are cracked and hooked above the sink

it makes me think

cumbling pelvis bones don't fix themselves on their own, now

crawling to court with a lash, sue into submission

to rest my hip on a pillowy star at a hospice care

don't say I wouldn't go that far!

 

gotta pay the rent,

god my hip is spent,

searching for a cent,

via Cook County

 

searching for a cent,

searching for a cent...

[Guest Jules]

[pillowy star]

I was proud of myself for not spitting my pear juice all over the place whilst reading this thread, and "thanked" my dentist for drilling every single bit of humor out of me this morning.

 

I made it this far in the end.

 

I dreamed about suing you again last night

it felt alright to me

filing on the terms of a contract left unsigned

I watched your wallet bleed

and buried you alive in a settlement today

raining down on me

your cold-hard cash flowing over me like a sea

 

I printed my name on the back of a suit

And I had it filed away

The dough I had in catalog of songs and movies

Is all I tried to save

So my health brought me back, via Cook County

In the middle of the spring

And all for $50k (read: fifty-k), or whatever comes from this thing

 

You know I'll break my back one of these days

And turn on poor VC

You'll watch a man with a face like mine

Suing fans for their parodies

And when I get caught I won't be right

And I won't get a cent

 

I'm suing you,

I'm suing you,

Via Cook County

 

gotta pay the rent,

god my hip is spent,

searching for a cent,

via Cook County

 

searching for a cent,

searching for a cent...

 

:rotfl

 

BeMyDemon will have to change the original lyrics now, there's no way around it.

(Now if you could only work the "pillowy star" theme into it )

[u2roolz]

Speed Racer!

 

I think when I hear that song hopefully this summer, I'll laugh thinking of these new lyrics.

 

Kristofor

[Guest Speed Racer]

(Now if you could only work the "pillowy star" theme into it )

 

I FORGOT THAT PART!!!

 

my cups are cracked and hooked above the sink

it makes me think

cumbling pelvis bones don't fix themselves on their own, now

crawling to court with a lash, sue into submission

to rest my hip on a pillowy star at a hospice care

don't say I wouldn't go that far!

 

OP edited.

[W(TF)]

Awesome. Are u taking requests? please do something with Cali Stars now.

[Guest Speed Racer]

A lot of repeating at the end, so when you sing it in your head go up to the top when you're done.

 

I'd like to rest my broken hip tonight

On a bed of Wilco royalties

I'd like to lay my mount of debt tonight

On a bed of Wilco royalties

 

I'd love to feel

Your cash touching me

Please understand

You must keep working on

 

Yes you'll give your life

So I lay my hip tonight on a bed

of Wilco royalties

 

I'd like to dream

My troubles all away

On a bed of Wilco royalties

 

Jump up from my bed rest

Walk around the block

With a cane and Wilco royalties

 

I walk like crap

'Cause I rocked too hard

And didn't heed advice

From a doctor's ward

 

So you'll give your world

'Cause I wrote some songs with you

Now you owe me Wilco royalties

[dondoboy]

Can we start a band Speed Racer?

[W(TF)]

So I lay my hip tonight on a bed

of Wilco royalties

 

Love it...

You should change your user name to Speed Satirist.

[pillowy star]

A lot of repeating at the end, so when you sing it in your head go up to the top when you're done.

 

I'd like to rest my broken hip tonight

On a bed of Wilco royalties

I'd like to lay my mount of debt tonight

On a bed of Wilco royalties

 

I'd love to feel

Your cash touching me

Please understand

You must keep working on

 

Yes you'll give your life

So I lay my hip tonight on a bed

of Wilco royalties

 

I'd like to dream

My troubles all away

On a bed of Wilco royalties

 

Jump up from my bed rest

Walk around the block

With a cane and Wilco royalties

 

I walk like crap

'Cause I rocked too hard

And didn't heed advice

From a doctor's ward

 

So you'll give your world

'Cause I wrote some songs with you

Now you owe me Wilco royalties

 

Stop it. NOW. I can't keep anything in anymore

[Elixir Sue]

Speed Racer:

 

Edit: I can't decide which one I like best. I love Via Cook County, especially the verse about turning on VC. Hoodoo Voodoo is probably my favorite, though. "Dreadlocks, deadlocks, OMG"..."lawyer man, judgey man"..."hippy hippy boo-hoo"...priceless.

 

[Sir Stewart]

I think Wilco Royalties/California Stars is my favorite.

[Guest Speed Racer]

Speed Racer:

 

Edit: I can't decide which one I like best. I love Via Cook County, especially the verse about turning on VC. Hoodoo Voodoo is probably my favorite, though. "Dreadlocks, deadlocks, OMG"..."lawyer man, judgey man"..."hippy hippy boo-hoo"...priceless.

 

 

The rest of the song, for you: Kind of a reach for such a weird song...

 

Writer one, writer two, collaborating hot tones

Two, four, six, eight, percent divide

Pretty song, pretty film, quote yourself to Sam Jones

I'll produce, you'll be fine

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? You're suing me now!

 

Jinga jangler, tinga lingle, mellotron on overload

Circle's center, bandmate scamper, huggle me close

No Ken, hot Glenn, lotsa blow in Amsterdam

Cut the dreads, and sue my ass some more

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? You're suing me now!

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? You're suing me now!

 

You're suing me now!

 

Cut the dreads

And sue my ass some more

 

Sue my ass some more

Sue my ass some more

[rhino4evr]

I dreamed about suing you again last night

it felt alright to me

filing on the terms of a contract left unsigned

I watched your wallet bleed

and buried you alive in a settlement today

raining down on me

your cold-hard cash flowing over me like a sea

 

I printed my name on the back of a suit

And I had it filed away

The dough I had in catalog of songs and movies

Is all I tried to save

So my health brought me back, via Cook County

In the middle of the spring

And all for $50k (read: fifty-k), or whatever comes from this thing

 

You know I'll break my back one of these days

And turn on poor VC

You'll watch a man with a face like mine

Suing fans for their parodies

And when I get caught I won't be right

And I won't get a cent

 

I'm suing you,

I'm suing you,

Via Cook County

 

my cups are cracked and hooked above the sink

it makes me think

cumbling pelvis bones don't fix themselves on their own, now

crawling to court with a lash, sue into submission

to rest my hip on a pillowy star at a hospice care

don't say I wouldn't go that far!

 

gotta pay the rent,

god my hip is spent,

searching for a cent,

via Cook County

 

searching for a cent,

searching for a cent...

 

wow..you took my original idea and totally ran with it. Awesome work. I wish I could parody so well...

[Guest Jules]

awesome

[Central Scrutinizer]

I wish I could parody so well...

Glenn Kotche can peradiddle.

[bjorn_skurj]

Speed Racer:

Indeed.

[rhino4evr]

Glenn Kotche can peradiddle.

 

 

LOL