Dude

I've got a ball of ear wax shaped like a rotund Marlon Brando sitting in the lotus position that I've been working on for quite a while now.

Then she's a MILF versus a MIWFEISHAGTMH.

Would you hit it?

If you guys can't see the obvious lyrical connection between You're Beautiful and Visions of Johanna then you may as well give up listening to music altogether.

Can I sell it on ebay???

To fully appreciate Presence in all its glory requires the exact mix of drugs Page was into at the time which included H, mescaline and horse tranquilizers.

Damen -> hymen

Or maybe, for reasons that defy logic, they've been on this board for years.

For your sparkling cocky smile I have walked a million miles Begging you to come wed me in the Spring Why do you my dear delay What makes you laugh and turn away? You're a hesitating beauty Nora Lee Well I know that you are itching to get married, Nora Lee And I know I am twitching for the same thing, Nora Lee By the star and clouds above We can spend our lives in love You're a hesitating beauty Nora Lee We can build a house and home Where the flowers come to bloom Around our yard I'll nail a fence so high That the boys with peeping eyes Cannot see that angel face Of my hesitating beauty,

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Wilco-6-Transi...bayphotohosting

That one is pretty close to reality.

a rubber chicken over the face is apparently lethal?

And I betcha this guy can't dance like that.

True... okay, I can see a justification for testing for heroin from the perspective that H addicts will be more likely to do something desperate to get their fix, including stealing from the company. Most companies test for pot because of our current laws as you state, but I'm pretty confident pot will be legalized in some states in the next ten years. If brothels are legal in Nevada and gambling is legal in most states, it seems odd that cultivating and smoking a mostly benign plant is illegal.

I've known plenty of fellow employee mothers who would devote long stretches of company time to micromanaging their kids' lives including long phone calls attempting to motivate them to do their homework, midafternoon trips to the school to pick sick kids up from the school nurse and the occasional argument with a disobedient son or daughter. The drag in productivity, which would also include other extraneous behavior like baby pools and other activities that went well beyond the usual water cooler stuff, is pretty significant.

Wilco Finally Offered the Cover of Rolling Stone - Turn it Down Bits of James Blunt Recovered After Singer Consumes Deadly Mixture of Pop Rocks and Coke Spinal Tap Revealed to Be a Real Band Made Up of Guys Who Merely Pretend to Be Comedians

I'm not sure I get the "legal liability" angle. People are just as likely to break the law after business hours doing other things (...say, driving while intoxicated) as they are smoking pot. If someone is smoking on company premises / company time, that would be a legitimate concern. But it's just as much a concern as someone drinking on the job. Anything that's done outside of business hours that doesn't interfere with an employee's ability to do their job well and not compete / conflict with company interests they should be free to do.

Given the parodic nature of the post, grammatical blunders, illogical statements (e.g., "quitting for good" multiple times) and a rambling incoherence are derived directly from the source material. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody for further clarification.

He started it.

I didn't put nearly that much thought into it. But now that you mention it...

Selling crack in the back of Cracker Barrel is where it's at.

Not that there's anything wrong with managing restaurants but DENNY'S? BWAHAHAHAHAH! Sorry, you may proceed.

You're probably going to get banned for that. I suggest you pre-emptively quit the board before that happens.