theashtraysays Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Love and prayers, Kate. Feel free to share... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamin' Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Oh, Kate, how very sad. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. *hug* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kimcatch22 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I'm so sorry, Kate. Hugs, kisses, and love to you and Em. You are an incredibly strong woman and I know your strength will get you through this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Muncle Douchey Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Sometimes a pet can be a child's closest confidant. agreed - the self-talk between owner and pet can be remarkably therapeutic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gogo Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I'm glad to hear that you have so many memories of your good times together, Kate. As the years pass, those will be the ones you'll take comfort from again and again. Much love to your whole family. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Clouds of Fluff Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Sending love and hugs and wishes for much comfort and peace in the difficult days ahead to you and Em and your loved ones too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Edie Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I haven't been reading the RTT at all due to time constraints, so I just found out about this. I am so sorry. Kate, please know that you, Em and Graham are in our prayers. Please also know that if you need anything just call me. xoxo Edie Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wendy Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Kate, so sorry to hear about all this. Very sad indeed. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reni Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Thank you for your love. the outpouring of love and support from all corners of my existence has been overwhelming. The next few days are going to be very difficult. I spent an hour with the pastor of our church this morning, and he is going to lead the memorial service on Saturday - at the request of Brad's mom. Being with our pastor and being able to talk about all of this with him was very healing and helpful. Most of the time I just can't talk, which is why I have been avoiding the phone besides with immediate family. However, when the memories come up, I break down. And when I think about how he was found and the physical condition and state of deterioration he was in, it make my heart ache and break all over again. I think this is one of the hardest parts for me. I may be going to the morgue this afternoon with his mom to help her with the paperwork. I will be able to be present for the cremation either tomorrow or Friday. This is a blessing for me. The memorial service is on Saturday. My mom is coming up on Friday, for the weekend. Emily has been opening up to me (which I am so thankful for) and has her dad's guitar (it's a guitar, not a bass like I thought) on proud display in her room, now. I can't bear for her to have her door shut, and thankfully she has obliged me in allowing me to leave her door open. I just can't bear the thought of closed spaces and things in between us, if that makes sense. I wish I had a picture of Emily and Brad to share with you - but all the ones I have are on old fashioned photo paper. I have some very joyful pictures of them together when she was young. Thanks again everyone. Your prayers and vibes continue to be appreciated, deeply. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poppydawn Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Thanks for the update, Kate. You've been on my mind all day. When you have the info, would you mind sending me the details about the service? Location and such? So glad that your mom's going to be there this weekend. I had a feeling she would be. I'm also glad that Emily's talking to you. I hope that maybe this will be a new beginning for her so that something positive can come from such a tragic loss. Love you guys. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gogo Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I wish I had a picture of Emily and Brad to share with you - but all the ones I have are on old fashioned photo paper. I have some very joyful pictures of them together when she was young.A stupid technical point: taking a digital picture of an old-fashioned paper picture is a surprisingly easy and effective means of sharing those. I would love to see some pictures, Kate, if you have the time to post them for us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reni Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Thanks for the update, Kate. You've been on my mind all day. When you have the info, would you mind sending me the details about the service? Location and such? So glad that your mom's going to be there this weekend. I had a feeling she would be. I'm also glad that Emily's talking to you. I hope that maybe this will be a new beginning for her so that something positive can come from such a tragic loss. Love you guys. I would be happy to give you the information about the service when I have it. However, Brad's mom told me this morning that she would prefer donations in lieu of flowers. She is looking into organizations. She wants to do something that helps children. Graham suggested a place in St Louis that gives kids bicycles and teaches them to fix them. This would be so perfect. Brad LOVED to ride bikes and was a total grease monkey. Let me see if I can find my digital camera. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poppydawn Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 St. Louis Bikeworks is an amazing program. I'd love to see the photos, too, if you're up to it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bjorn_skurj Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 He's in a better place now, with his pain taken away. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reni Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 We do not have to go to the morgue to do paperwork and his things will be sent with him to the crematorium. This is a relief. Robin, there will be an obit in the Post Dispatch in STL - and I just spoke to his mom and she is thrilled with the idea of STL Bike Works. I am a huge fan of that place and knew a lot of people involved back when I was a Critical Masser in STL. Heck, Brad is the one that got me into cycling and going to CM. I can't find my digital camera - but will try and get some photos when I do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Parade Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Very sorry for your loss...sending hugs from Nova Scotia. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reni Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Remember me. I will be with you in the graveon the night you leave behindyour shop and your family.When you hear my soft voiceechoing in your tomb,you will realizethat you were never hidden from my eyes.I am the pure awareness within your heart,with you during joy and celebration,suffering and despair. On that strange and fateful nightyou will hear a familiar voice --you'll be rescued from the fangs of snakesand the searing sting of scorpions.The euphoria of love will sweep over your grave;it will bring wine and friends, candles and food. When the light of realization dawns,shouting and upheavalwill rise up from the graves!The dust of ages will be stirredby the cities of ecstasy,by the banging of drums,by the clamor of revolt! Dead bodies will tear off their shroudsand stuff their ears in fright--What use are the senses and the earsbefore the blast of that Trumpet? Look and you will see my formwhether you are looking at yourselfor toward that noise and confusion. Don't be blurry-eyed,See me clearly-See my beauty without the old eyes of delusion. Beware! Beware!Don't mistake me for this human form.The soul is not obscured by forms.Even if it were wrapped in a hundred folds of feltthe rays of the soul's lightwould still shine through. Beat the drum,Follow the minstrels of the city.It's a day of renewalwhen every young manwalks boldly on the path of love. Had everyone sought GodInstead of crumbs and copper coinsThey would not be sitting on the edge of the moatin darkness and regret. What kind of gossip-househave you opened in our city?Close your lipsand shine on the worldlike loving sunlight. Shine like the Sun of Tabriz rising in the East.Shine like the star of victory.Shine like the whole universe is yours! --Rumi Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Good Old Neon Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Ugh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
froggie Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 sorry to hear that.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blindgonzo Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 I am so sorry Kate! I'm sending all of my love to you, Graham, Emily, and Brad's family. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tongue-tied lightning Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 all I can say is, love ya Kate, sending my love to Em Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reni Posted May 1, 2008 Author Share Posted May 1, 2008 I just got home from an evening with Brad's family going through old family photos and picking out ones for the service. I am so pleased and honored that his family has included me in all of this process. Some flowers showed up on our doorstep today. Hmmmmm...... I think I know where they came from. Thank you so much Robin and Jen. They are so lovely and are in on Emily's dresser in a vase that came with some flowers Brad gave her for Valentines a couple years ago. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kidsmoke Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 We love you, Kate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pillowy star Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 What Donna said. I am sure you were the best thing that happened to Brad in his life, Kate Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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