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Worst Song of the Decade


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I'm sorry folks, but none of these turds comes close to the vomit and seizure inducing awfulness of Brokencyde:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TH5ibABP4U

 

Don't say I didn't warn you. I did. Don't blame me for your morbid curiosity, or for the fact that some things just cannot be unseen.

I have a new ringtone for my friends phone. :w00t

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Thong Song. Any Toby Keith, Kid Rock song. There's a million of songs that are worse than that Crows cover song. If you're after pure crap, get a gym membership, work out for a week and blood will pour from your ears. Costello's Radio Radio is a fine, way before it's time summary of where popular music is at.

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Colbie Caillat, Bubbly:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWGqoCNbsvM

 

Everything about this song reeks of suckitude, down to the song title, down to the name of the artist. "Colbie Caillat". What, was she born in a coffeehouse?

 

Song has so many groaners, the spoken "Will you count me in?" the first of many.

 

If her boyfriend has a "bubbly face", did he just emerge from a burn unit or something?

 

My personal favorite is that she "gets the tingles in a silly place." :o

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For inspiring sheer white hot hatred, I'm going with Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up The Sun".

 

crow is indeed wretched

 

complete suck

 

what's her worst song ... "soak up the sun" indeed sucks

 

but "every day is a winding road" and "if it makes you happy" might be just as bad

 

supposedly, she's recorded a cover of "sweet child o' mine" that is insanely bad but i haven't heard it (thank god)

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I have not laughed that hard in ages. many, many thanks

 

Does it add to the enjoyment that they tried to invent their own genre....

 

...

 

(wait for it)

 

...

 

"crunkcore"

 

John McDonnell, writing for The Guardian, said that crunkcore "sounds like a Chamillionaire track performed by a teenage Slipknot tribute band." He closed the article with "Oh God. I've suddenly come to my fucking senses. What was I thinking? [Crunkcore] is the worst thing to happen to music since Katie Melua's "Nine Million Bicycles" in Beijing."

 

Brokencyde has been universally panned by critics. Metal Edge magazine has called Brokencyde "fucking horrendous". "Thrash Magazine" has called them "a mockery to the world of music". Cracked.com contributor Michael Swaim said the band sounded like "a Slipknot-Cher duet". British commentator Warren Ellis calls Brokencyde's "FreaXXX" music video "a near-perfect snapshot of everything that’s shit about this point in the culture".

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

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John Mayer is far from awful. I don't listen to his records, and his songs are a bit bland, but he can play guitar damn well when isn't singing soft pop songs. And his acoustic cover of Kid A is great.

 

I can't really comment on him because I have only heard what is on the radio and lord knows that's not always a good indicator. But the stuff I have heard has been just awful. I mean if "Your body is a wonderland" and "Daughters" is any indication of his other stuff than I want no part of it. I did see him play guitar in his trio on Leno or something and he is a good guitar player but it was nothing exceptional or that I have not heard from a decent bar band.

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I'd never seen that video. Are we to surmise that he commits suicide because he'll never be with this beautiful girl he sees on the train with another guy? How absolutely frickin' dreadful! Not to make light of suicide, but couldn't he have done that BEFORE writing the song?

 

I have no problem watching Blunt preparing for his death, and in fact I cheer this aspect of it on with great relish, do we really need to see the guy stripping down while he's doing it? The mere notion that he's actually performing a strip tease throughout half the video makes me vomit in my mouth a little.

 

It's kind of like the fact that the guys in Top Gun all take group showers after the more intense flights, showers they all seem to get a big thrill out of, while they bust eachother's balls (verbally one assumes) while boasting about who has the longest yoke stick. Is the film merely crassly pandering to the females / gay males in the audience who would enjoy such moments or is it floating the notion that Maverick, Goose and Iceman and Slider are all closet homosexuals?

 

(With nicknames like Goose and Slider, isn't the answer to that one fairly obvious?)

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I can't really comment on him because I have only heard what is on the radio and lord knows that's not always a good indicator. But the stuff I have heard has been just awful. I mean if "Your body is a wonderland" and "Daughters" is any indication of his other stuff than I want no part of it. I did see him play guitar in his trio on Leno or something and he is a good guitar player but it was nothing exceptional or that I have not heard from a decent bar band.

The man has better chops than that, but he has decided to appeal to the masses as much as possible. He wants to be an idol more than an artist. I think he could have chosen a different path, but didn't.

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I can't really comment on him because I have only heard what is on the radio and lord knows that's not always a good indicator. But the stuff I have heard has been just awful. I mean if "Your body is a wonderland" and "Daughters" is any indication of his other stuff than I want no part of it. I did see him play guitar in his trio on Leno or something and he is a good guitar player but it was nothing exceptional or that I have not heard from a decent bar band.

Again, not a Mayer fan myself, but Daughters and Your Body Is A Wonderland are not indicators of his talent. Sadly, he does have many songs like those, but his albums have several quite good songs. This forum isn't really in his target audience, so it's no surprise.

 

As for his guitar playing, I'm no blues expert, or even much of a fan of it, but he's got some skill. It's kind of strange; he releases soft, albeit lame, romantic pop songs, yet he's gotten a fair amount of respect from people like Clapton for his guitar playing. I've seen a few concert clips, and, when he wants to, he can really play guitar.

 

And his Kid A cover is fantastic.

 

I do see why a lot of people hate him. But I disagree.

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This is the sort of song they blast at 1800 decibels at those mall stores with the fake storefronts and really horrible, expensive teeshirts with obnoxious slogans on them. I've think I've figured out the purpose of Autotune, now, too - it allows talentless jackasses who can't sing to make really horrible songs like this one:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix5z1bRz4Sc

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I'm sorry folks, but none of these turds comes close to the vomit and seizure inducing awfulness of Brokencyde:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TH5ibABP4U

 

Don't say I didn't warn you. I did. Don't blame me for your morbid curiosity, or for the fact that some things just cannot be unseen.

This really does make everything else mentioned here sound like Bach. It really is a very nice summation of everything wrong in the 00's with not just music, but popular culture.

- If you want to be heard, scream. You don't need to have anything to say.

- If you have no talent, technology will help you. Although not nearly enough in this case.

- Ladies, please check your dignity at the door. If you want to be on TV/seen on YouTube you're going to need to dance suggestively with guys you would never in a million years have anything to do with. Check out the look on the faces of the girls in the background - they can't edit out every disgusted look that they get. But they're still there.

- Comprehensible lyrics are passe. Sure, I get that they want to get freaky on the dance floor, but why halfway through do they get all emo and whine about how the girl was a liar and how sad he is about her leaving him? You just said you wanted her to bring along a friend so you could all have some fun. Yikes.

 

I can't believe I let this affect me enough to write all this. Thank God this wasn't a top 10 single. There's hope for this country yet.

 

It wasn't a hit, was it? I'm so out of the loop on this stuff it could have been #1 for the whole year and I wouldn't know it.

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